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I used to love Robin and Paula as a couple back in the day. But then they started opening their mouths and I realized that they are both just pretty faces, nothing in between the ears. I mean, it's quite safe to say that Blurred Lines itself and that Miley performance were not his brightest moments. Honestly, I feel like they deserve each other. Whether they actually stay together or split up is inconsequential.
1 week, 1 day ago on Latest from Robin Thicke: “I’m Just Trying to Get Her Back”
I find people who discriminate on the basis of "black" sounding names absolutely disgusting. Especially when you consider that more and more white people are opting for more "outrageous" names for their children. Even outside of the Apple, Pilot Inspektor celebrity baby names. There was news earlier this year about a couple who opted to have the internet name their unborn daughter. The number one voted name is Cthulhu All-Spark. As far as I know the child has not been born yet to whether or not they will choose that name is uncertain, but the implications that white people can do whatever the damn hell they please when it comes to their children but other races and cullers cannot absolutely is racist and vlie.
The biggest thing is that black Americans are one of the few demographics that shy away from conforming in that manner, which when you think about it is admirable. How many other cultures of people come to America and they have a native name and an American name; and the greatest pretense is having their common name because their actual name may be too hard to pronounce or spell, it may make people uncomfortable. That is all well and good, but should not be absolutely necessary. We learn the names Schwarzenegger and Giuliani, but we cannot learn an Asian, or African, or even African American names? Bullshit! We can learn Russian names with their excess of constants and Irish/Gaelic names that literally look like alphabet soup. We take the time to learn those names, but black American names was an excess of vowels and a few interestingly places apostrophes are a problem?
People really want to talk about white and Latin names having meanings... How do you think such names got meanings? People created those names and GAVE them meaning. So if a black American family creates a name for their child and gives that name a meaning, it is just as valid as any other name on this planet.
Having a "ghetto" sounding name does not doom a child to a negative life. Surely Timothy McVeigh or Jeffery Dahmer's names did not spurn on what they became. There is so much more that goes into whether or not a child will succeed. Last time I checked, Barack Obama was doing just fine. Quvenzhané Wallis is an Oscar nominated actress. Her name is a mix of her parents names, and zhané means fairy in Swahili. The intended meaning of her name is mom and dad's fairy. I've seen so many interviews of hers where reporters try to truncate her name, and she's says no, my name is Quvenzhané - say it completely, say it properly or not at all. I applaud her every time.
Hell, Beyonce's name for all intents and purposes -- on anyone else, if there were no such thing as "Beyonce," would be considered a "ghetto" name. But it is actually likely one of the most recognizable names in the world. It also has a meaning - as the form of the Creole last name Beyince, Beyonce's mother's maiden name. With her family line being all women, there were no males to continue to family name, so Tina named her daughter Beyonce to continue her family name to another generation. Lo and behold, now the world will never forget that name.
I say all this as someone who has the not quite common but still fairly "normal" name of Fionna. I was named after my mother who's middle name is Fiona. Even coupled with my Nigerian last name, people somehow think I'm white. I hear this most often in the workplace. I couldn't tell you whether my name has ever affected my job search; but regardless I have still death with my fair share or race-related discriminations and criticism in a corporate settings. Should I then lighten my skin and straighten my hair in order to make my white co-workers more comfortable? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!
As a child I got teased for my name and I actually asked my mother to change it when I was 7. At my school, there were tons of girls name Crystal and LaToya, I wanted a name like that. It wasn't until very much later in my life that I began getting complements for my name, about how cool and beautiful it is. I only just escaped the Fiona Apple/Princess Fiona connotations. I appreciate my name a lot more now than I did when I was younger, but I am still not 100% in love with it. I still wonder how my life would have been different if I was named differently. It did not stop me from excelling in school or work, but because of that early childhood torment, I will always have a personal complex about my name.
1 week, 1 day ago on What’s In A Name?
@Savannah1812 Wasn't Russel Simmons with some blonde not minutes after their divorce was announced and no one said a word??
2 weeks, 3 days ago on Model Lanisha Cole Fires Back On Haters of Her Non-Black Fiance
I absolutely adore the Nive Nulls. I actually learned about them from BBW because there was a story when Audri was born. Kai Kai is my favorite baby on YouTube right now. I can't get enough of them.
It's kind of cool to learn about their age difference because I am also 27 and my boyfriend just turned 25. But we're actually apart my three years because I will be turning 28 in a little more than a week. Don't sleep on the younger guys ladies!!
2 weeks, 3 days ago on Check Out this ChoNilla Couple: The Nive Nulls
The child argument is very valid, and I agree with it. But what about the man? I feel like any man worth his salt would not be comfortable with such a situation. I mean, what do you even say to the guy? Yeah... I don't like you enough to marry you or even live with you but I want your child. If I were a guy I would definitely give a woman like that the side eye. I feel this mindset comes from women thinking this is what men want, to not be committed. So they figured they can beat them to the punch and not get hurt. But you'll find most worth while men actually do want, commitment, marriage, kids, the whole package.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on QOTW: “Why Can’t I Just Be a Baby Mama?”
Very easy on the eyes! Extra points for the chin dimple :P
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Hey Folks, Meet ‘Friends of Jay’
OMG I screamed at the first one!! I would have seriously died if my grandma ever said that to me (God rest her soul). But Bedsider is great. I subscribe to their emails.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on Hilarious Bedsider PSA’s Addresses the Birth Control Without the Outrage
I'm really glad I learned about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie before Beyonce's album came out. I read about her latest book on the New York Times website and I've read some of her content online and watched some of her videos. She is especially inspiring to me, being an African writer who dreams of being on the New York Times best seller list one day.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on OK, So You Possibly Hate (Or Love) Beyoncé’s New Album, But At Least You Now Know Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Is
@Alana 2 Frankly, I think the whole West African features thing is a tired co-out. I personally have West African features because I look exactly like my West African father, yet black men in particular mostly think I'm Hispanic or mixed in some way. Men who think like have no idea what's what because they consider non-black women who happened to have West African-eqsue features attractive for that precise reason.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong If I Choose to Never Date a Black Man Again?”
@Shaylah Personally, I would say earlier. Some time ago I heard a song from the 30's sung by a black woman and the topic was how she didn't need a man and never wanted to settle down. Very sexual and a bit vulgar actually. Not unlike some of the music we hear today.
These attitudes were likely always around. But in the past strong black people and strong family units were still plentiful. And in the 70's we find marriage rates were at a high for the last time.
This is the glaring hole in this story that makes me believe its fake: Yes, the woman says she married fairly quickly. But you mean to tell me that none of this behavior ever came up while they were dating to draw a seriously red flag? I find it hard to believe that if he has these deep seeded racists ideals that they did not pop up at least once before they married. The post does not say whether or not they were sexually active before they got married. I feel that if they weren't, it would have been mentioned, because people who are celibate or abstinent and discussing a topic having to do with sex rarely fail to mention that very important tidbit.
With that being said, I suppose people do have personalities that only come up when they are in the throws of passion (or whatever). But if he explicitly waited until after they were married to show her this side of him, then he clearly had some idea that this might not be okay with her. I mean, why would he do that with other black women he's *dated*, but wait until their married to do that with her? If he has such little respect that he continues doing it now even though she said she doesn't like it, what would that stop him from doing it before they were married? That just doesn't add up to me.
What funny about this story is that as per usual, naysayers are using it as reason why black women shouldn't be dating white men. Next to "how can you date someone who raped your ancestors," the whole "what are you gonna do when he calls you the n-word" has got to be the most common concern troll argument for black women not dating interracially. Never mind that just days later, I saw on my Facebook newsfeed, a photo posted by another IR blogger I follow, that had a white woman standing in between two black men and the woman had a shirt on that said "nigga lover."
Apparently its completely fine for the non black women they date to sling racial slurs at them, especially during sex. I have heard several accounts in my day from black men who say they like it when non black women call them the n-word during sex, or want to do some sort of racially charged sex play. The comedian Donald Glover (wrote for SNL, stars in Community) has a bit in one of his stand up shows where he's talking about an indian girl he used to date and one time when they were having sex she told him to "eff her with that n-word dick" and how hard it made him cum. How is that perfectly okay? Not that I really care edgewise, but its just hilarious how up in arms they get at the idea of a white man calling a black woman the n-word (as if they're going to do anything to defend her), but they revel in the idea for themselves.
I've attempted to look at this through a logical lens, but I honestly don't believe its real.
11 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question
2+2=fish, okay. I can read as much or as little into this as I want. That is my right. Just as it is his right to spew this nonsense. Yes, love and dating aren't as cut and dry, but in my opinion, if he were all that good, he'd likely be taken by someone already. Or he'd at least have access to enough of the black women he desires in order to not feel the need to write something like this. People who are happy with their situations do not write things like this, and in that context, because they are too busy being happy with their situation. Read into that.
11 months ago on A White Guy's Honest Opinion About Black Women...and Their Weight.
@Karla I enjoyed your response as well Karla c: People should in fact be aiming to be fit and healthy. I'm reading this book right now called Eat To Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and the other day I stumbled upon this one sentence that has got to be the single most motivating thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.
"Do not underestimate the effect of a superior diet on gradually removing and repairing damage caused by years of self-abuse."
I can't read something like that and then turn around and take someone like this guy seriously. No one should be telling anyone that they should use this as motivation to lose weight. You will never catch me taking as motivation anyone whose sole reason for waiting to change my life is so he can get his dick hard. I'm sincerely glad I don't have to. I don't mean to be crude. But with this dude is it clearly what it boils down to. It's not even to change your life, but simply your weight so he can have arm candy and deflect whatever deep seeded insecurities he has by proxy. Yeah, definitely miss. me. with. that!
@Lili2009 "He sounds sexually frustrated and hostile."
Definitely so! He sounds like he would flip out if his partner gains even five pounds. That's not love. That's not that type of IR relationship you want. I know a lot of women of all races who have lost a lot of weight, after having met their partners whose support what was encouraged them to lose weight. Not only be better for themselves, but also to be someone their partner is proud to call theirs. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be fit and attractive to have the best chance at finding a mate. But when all that person is looking at is the outward appearance, yes that is a problem. This guy seems petty and mad that the types of black women he wants aren't checking for him. I don't even think I have to mention what kind of guy he really sounds like. From this message I wouldn't be surprised if these women are not interested because of his attitude and personalty and he's sitting there like: I don't know why, I'm so fit and sexy! Yeah no sweetie. You can't give me a lump of shit dressed up in a nice bow and expect me to get excited. Just the same as you can't put a diamond in a dingy old box and expect people to realize what's inside. But, if that dingy box is see through and people can see the diamond inside, the that changes people's attitudes. But a lump of shit is always going to be a lump of shit.
@MySmile I loooove 'Crave You'! I feel like I actually heard the original song before I heard the dubstep remix and I already loved the original! I know 'Cracks' but give me some 'I Can't Stop' any day when it comes to Flux Pavilion. A lot of that is my older music. I am trying to catch up because a lot of my favorite artists have released new music in recent months and I haven't heard half of it. Another song I like in the same line as 'Crave You' is Massive Attack - Paradise Circus (Zeds Dead Remix). I first heard the original song on Gossip Girl and then I found the remix and I nearly died! It's so perfect! And it's got the same mellow beat but really sick drops.
I guess there are a lot of opportunities to see shows in NYC, but I feel like I don't even see as many as I want to because I only see certain people at shows. Like I've been to at least one show each month this year. January was Datisk, February was Feed Me and Zedd in February and Schoolboy in March. It'd be awesome to continue into April but I'm not seeing any shows I'd want to go to right now. But EDC NY is in May and then I'd so love to go to Baltimore for MoonRise Festival in June. And Electric Zoo in August, I plan on buying tickets for that as soon as they announce the line up. But I really feel a lot of my most favorite artists tour outside of NYC as well as overseas. They're always in California, London, Oslo, Japan. This is why I have my goal to be traveling overseas for shows by next year. I mean, I can at least go to Canada, there's a good amount going on up there. lol.
As for the south, places like Florida and Texas tend to have the most shows. The best thing to do is just go to the websites of your favorite artists and see their tour dates. Follow them on Facebook because they often announce dates there before they even go on sale or on their tour list. You can also find out about added dates when shows sell out quickly and secret shows that way. Songkick.com is also good for keeping up on tours. And sign up for mailing lists for like ticketmaster, eventful, Live Nation, venues in your area that hold shows and concerts. Opening your email and finding out your favorite artist is in town is like Christmas morning!
I have a lot of fun going to shows by myself. I keep my drinking to a minimum, if at all, to keep my whits about me. If I do drink I have it way before the headliner comes on so by the time he's on I'll be sobering up and be completely sober by the time the show is done. I go straight home after shows as well. Even if I meet people, I don't linger and chat. And I definitely let someone know where I'm going and keep my phone on me for emergencies. Other than that, I just use common sense and I have a great time. I personally don't approach people. All the people I meet either approach me, or start conversations with me. And I take it from there. I'm actually pretty shy and introverted myself. But if someone engages me I can let go and be social.
11 months, 1 week ago on Friday Funny: Are You 'Qualified' To Date a White Guy? [Quiz]
@Brice Cameron @MySmile
I'm just saying c:o
That's my halo btw, hehe
@zabeth Isn't it though? Ridiculous. That ish sounds borderline racist if you ask me. Definitely miss me with that nonsense.
11 months, 1 week ago on A White Guy's Honest Opinion About Black Women...and Their Weight.
@BrieStoll Take comfort in the fact that not all men think like him.
The other day I was watching a video shot by a biracial girl interviewing her white father on his opinion on black women's hair. He told he he likes natural hair and braids, black hair styles essentially. He said he didn't like black women who wore weaves because it reminded him of white women. Does that mean that all black women who wear weaves shouldn't have interest in white men? No. It does seem that a lot of white men that date black women do prefer our natural hair. But for many weaves aren't a deal breaker. Maybe some exclusively like natural hair and some exclusively like long straight hair but they are not the be all end all.
And then you have to consider, we're talking fat, skinny, fit, athletic, what have you and people have preferences within that. One man's attraction might be a size 6 another man's attraction might be a size 2. So anything more than a 2 is fat. Someone could like 6 packs, so someone with a 4 pack is not fit enough for them. I read the other day that that dude who is with Kourtney Kardashian was harping on here about her weight (after having just had their second child mind you) because she's now apparently 115lbs as opposed to the 95lbs she was when they met. This is what I think of when I see PSAs like this. When I hear "men are visual creatures," I hear all they (those particular men) care about is the visual. And that is not a viable partner for a marriage minded woman.
@Beruda @BrieStoll If I had a penny for all the fat/old/gross/undesirable white men I get approached by, I'd be one rish bish! I'll tell you that for sure. But I'm not getting on the internet and writing no PSA. People seriously need to get over themselves. Because you can be fit one day and paraplegic the very next. And that fit girl might dump your ass for someone who can walk in a hot second, while that big girl might see past your limitations. You never know what's going to happen. Roger Ebert just died after being married to a beautiful black woman for 20-years. She was not slim by any means. What she was, was there for him as he suffered cancer that disfigured his face. Fit, healthy bodies are great. That doesn't mean fit, healthy, bodies can't fail you. Most of us aren't living those uber healthy lifestyles that have us looking 35 when we're 70, so most likely our bodies will fail us at some point. And what will this PSA mean? Bubkiss. Because regardless of weight, regardless of colors, regardless of anything, black women who truly want love will find it.
There are some things I can agree with in what this guy says. I completely understand someone valuing health and wanting a partner that also values health. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But there's a few things this due can miss me with, with his approach in this letter.
1. This whole 'men are visual creatures' thing seriously needs to die. People act as if women don't have eyes too. And in the long run it ends up looking like an excuse to be a douchebag.
2. The following quote: "I know you’ve all had it engrained upon your mind that you need to eat and put some pounds on and whatever else your culture has tonight you but listen, your trying to cross cultural lines here, I don’t go to Japan and demand cheeseburgers, I go for the sushi. If you want this sushi you gotta meet me on what I find attractive. My culture values thin and trim and athletic. If this is the culture you want to be a part of you can’t try to force me to like something I’m just not sexually attracted too."
This is so ridiculously off putting, and not even for the reason that most might consider. This part - If this is the culture you want to be a part of - This dude seriously needs to have several seats, because the going to Japan and eating sushi goes both ways. It makes me wonder where his real interest in black women lies. Mentioning porn in his statement, really? Honestly what I hear from this line is he basically wants a white girl with a super dark tan. Dude, you may as well get you a white girl with a super dark tan if you're going to think like that,
I can understand that there are in fact a lot of black women that are overweight. But can we PLEASE stop acting like every single black woman in the country is overweight. Because that is simply not the case. It's not our fault that this guy can't find any of them. Because tons of white/non-black men have no trouble finding, slim/fit/athletic black women. Have you ever thought that the fit athletic black women that you desire are likely not held up on interracial dating Facebook pages and are likely out living their lives, going to the gym and meeting eligible men in real life? Those are the kinds of women that are the most eligible themselves and likely have no trouble finding men in their everyday lives, so they in fact won't be the ones pursuing Facebook of all places. Just like we always say here to the women, you need to take a look at you and figure out what it is that is not attracting the women you want.
So again this just seems like a means of shitting on overweight women thinly veiled as a public service announcement of concern. And not even so, because the only concern I really saw in this statement was to himself. I wish him luck, but honest I'm not surprised that he's single. And its not because too many fat black women that he doesn't want keep messaging him.
And I say all of this as a black woman who is body conscious and health conscious and have a partner that is also that way and prefers his partner fit and healthy as well, just fyi. Because I've definitely been accused of being overweight on here because of my views. I am all for urging people to be healthier and more fit. But this is not the way. This has been the way since time immemorial and people continue to gain weight. This post is likely to have more women crying into a tub of Ben and Jerry's than it is having them jump on a treadmill. There's a big difference between tough love and cruelty. People don't need to be told umpteenth times that their fat for shits and giggles. I'm pretty sure they know. I'm pretty sure if they really want to change, they will, on their own accord. It is no ones responsibility to make them change. Especially for their own selfish and frivolous reasons. It is not any one person's job here to solve the overall issue of obesity, I really wish we'd stop acting like it is.