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Hi @ladyofmagic1974 yes when I was planning to move to South Korea, my family was not having it forgetting I'm a grown woman.lol. So I eventually i stopped telling them of my plans and instead worked on them on my own. Once i was ready to get my Visa and purchase my suitcases that's when they realized i wasn't playing. Now they're happy that I went to South Korea especially since I have internationally work experience. They see how me going overseas gave me a boost in the workforce.
Sometimes the journey we have ourselves is going to be lonely road, but you'll meet great people along the way. Soon your family will see and be inspired by you taking a huge leap of faith.
I also wrote a blog post on this very thing. Hopefully these tips will help you. =)
1 month, 2 weeks ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!
This is awesome! If there is one thing I wish I could have done while in college was to study abroad, but I was able to make up for that. These are some great reason to study abroad. Traveling changes your whole perspective, especially as a black woman. When I hear comments how bw are not attractive...I laugh there's a whole world out there who thinks otherwise.
When you come back from traveling/living overseas your confidence is raised up so high you have people looking at you like "where did she get her confidence from?" (was actually asked this question). I truly believe as much as possible for bw to travel overseas even just once in their life time.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Guest Writer: A Black Girl’s Guide to Studying Abroad in Valparaiso, Chile!
@BreannaNouveaux the best time to travel is right after college. Plan a gift to yourself to go anywhere in the world after graduation. If you want, volunteer or intern in another country. It'll look great on your resume. www.goabroad.com is a great source of finding these opportunities. Including www.interexchange.org <--- that is how I was able to live in Rome for a month. I lived with an Italian family teaching their daughters English.
1 month, 4 weeks ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!
What a wealth of experiences you ladies have! Very inspiring. I know someone on here mentioned wanting to visit Thailand...I was able to visit Phuket, Thailand and it was gorgeous! One of the best vacations of my life! I didn't want to leave. I visited there on my Christmas vacation, so while it was winter in Korea, it was summer time in Thailand. Couldn't ask for a better Christmas.
Like the majority of you ladies, I loved Rome. I lived there for a month and leaving was just heartbreaking. It's amazing to see buildings that are centuries/thousands years old. Seeing photos online doesn't cut it, it is something you have to go see and touch for yourself.
For the record...have any of you been to Sweden? That's next on my list.
Congrats to Oneika and Liebling!
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Oneika, our Favorite Traveller, Gets Engaged!
Here's the Facebook link...
1 year ago on Go East, Young Woman: Coping With Pre-Travel Abroad Jitters
I just love all things travel! Toni I certainly wish you all the best on your new adventure. I'll answer your questions as well. Won't be long.
1. What is the best way to cope with being terrified of flying? Window seat or aisle? Should I bring a paper bag? Am I being a big baby and scaredy cat?
Answer: Not exactly sure, but since you're interested in flying overseas I would start of with a short trip to somewhere. Not sure where you live but visit a friend in another state that would require you to fly. That way you get a feel for it. Flights overseas especially Thailand & or anywhere in Europe you're looking at a 14 hr flight. And if you really terrified 14hrs is a long time. However I have met other expats who flew to South Korea on their first flight ever. Conclusion, you'll live lol.
2.If one’s heart is set upon going abroad, what are the chances that they’ll regret it? Also, how does one deal with homesickness? (And a mom that is going to flood the world with her tears when her “baby girl” goes?)
Answer: The experience all depends on you and how you react to situations around you. I for one don't regret living overseas, there are very few that I know who did regret it, but they didn't put their issues aside, they brought the issue with them. Your mom, like any mother will cry when you leave, but she'll also be proud!
3. 3.) What are some popular travel resources for black women who are looking to network abroad and or find out relevant travel information?
Not sure if anyone has posted the link but there's a Women of Color Living Abroad Facebook/LinkedIn group you can join. In fact join it! The women there have so many experiences and advice to share.
4.) Does anyone have any travel stories they want to share? Including their very first trip abroad?
I've shared my experience here on BW&W on blog post. I also have a blog as well www.jamericanqueenabroad.blogspot.com where I shared my experiences including vacationing in Phuket, Thailand.
I love this cover! Go Oprah!
1 year, 1 month ago on Zo-Mi-Gorsh! Oprah's Mega-Fro on the Cover of "O" Magazine!
@MiMikins512 I'm really late on this as I love all things travel! I have my own blog where I do mention some of the things that you would love read. It has also given me some ideas on the next topics to write!
1 year, 2 months ago on Suggest a Topic or Offer to Write a Post
When I moved to South Korea that's when I discovered that Asian men were attracted to black women. I was asked out several times while in Korea for a date. I couldn't believe it. Ladies don't believe the lies...they are def. attracted to us!
Asian men being shy doesn't surprise me but if they really want to talk to you they will!
These are types of blog post I wanna see! Awesome job Christelyn!
1 year, 2 months ago on Video: Asian Men and Black Women Give Advice on How to Date Each Other
Look at them, they are so in love!!!
1 year, 2 months ago on May the Force Be With You! George Lucas Marries Mellody Hobson!
More importantly ladies you have to go out!! get out of your apartment, hang with the girls. You're girls don't wanna hang? drag them! and yes you can go out by yourself if you feel comfortable.
1 year, 3 months ago on Come Hither 101: Tracy Renee Jones Schools Us On How to Enchant the Opposite Sex!
@Browncow @Toni_M I told a friend of mine I need to head back over to Europe. I have no idea what's happening w/ American men (no offense guys love you)...but there's a vast difference and I'm not liking it.
European men see a beautiful woman they stop what they're doing (literally) and go talk to her. American men, stop, stare, and talk themselves out of talking to the woman. Unless you give him millions of signals that'll go over his head anyway. lol.
Ah to be back in Rome again...I'm working on it. *sorry if I went off topic,lol*
1 year, 3 months ago on Like Attracts Like: Do You Really Know What It Means to Be 'Equally Yoked?'
Not to toot my own horn...
look how beautiful these black women are! We got it going on ya'll!
1 year, 3 months ago on From Lifestyle Blogging to Being a Foodie: Black Women Bloggers You Oughta Know
@DWB Gurl please they are sticking w/ that one drop rule. They could careless about the other half.
1 year, 3 months ago on How Far Have We Really Come? Cheerios Commercial Draws the Ire of Rabid Racists
I'm sure this commercial reminded undercover racists who's President.
@Hallyu Love @somethingdifferent22 I think she's referring to this commerical...
@AminahMatthews @Skayi Those ladies failed to realize that Bradley Cooper is an East Coast man, meaning it doesn't matter the color of the woman. If he likes her, he will date her. He's from Philly for peace sake!
Yeah I was a little heart broken they didn't stay longer, but I felt he was a rebound. She recently broke off her engagement before going public w/ Bradley.
Oh well so is life! Wishing her the best w/ new beu!
1 year, 3 months ago on Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego Take Their Relationship Public in Italy
Girl continuing applying to Law School and get in there! You'll meet even more quality men there! You won't even remember him.
Chris said this.. "Often times however, when couples go through major rites of passages–graduating high school, graduating college, getting their first jobs, one or both partners may be itching to see what else is out there"
This is so true! I was that person that was itching for more. I was about 21 when I was dating a guy who was 24 yrs old and he wanted the works. Marriage, kids, house everything. I was not ready. I wanted to finish school, live abroad, have my own apartment, and visit Italy on my own. I wanted to do these things before I ever got into something long term. He and I did not last because I was not interested in doing so. This is what's happening with you and your guy. Let him alone and you go find someone else. Learn from this relationship and don't get with a guy who gets sloppy drunk. I never understood that lifestyle. There's nothing cute/funny about it.
Wishing you all the best! Listen to your gut! It's called "Woman's Intuition".
1 year, 3 months ago on QOTW: "Help! I Have a SWIRLING Question!" But...Is It, Really??
Like what I've been saying on my twitter... foreign men are they way too go! Congrats on your new found love!
1 year, 3 months ago on Swirling Success in Sweden!
@Toni_M She'll be fine. Everyone knows that movie flopped because it was a Tyler Perry-produced movie and I think people are FINALLY sick of his movies and everything associated with his brand.
I don't think it's that. the movie was up against "The Great Gatsby". It's been an anticipated film and a great film which I loved! It was a bad choice to put out the film in the summer and promotion for it was poor. the only reason i even knew the film was coming out was because of twitter. This is the time for blockbuster films. I don't see this movie moving up the box office charts but down. This weekend is Star Trek which I predict will be number one, next week is Hangover III, the week after is "After Earth". The movie came out at a bad time.
I was also speaking w/ my brother who said the movie looked childish, which it did. Like how many "meet the parent" films do we have to watch. And Tyler clearly has a class issue among blacks and if he doesn't mind I would like Kerry's love interest to be attractive. You think they would make a film of a overweight black woman getting a man like Lance Goss...yeah, no.
Hopefully this will be the last type of film she does. She can do better than that.
1 year, 4 months ago on Well It's About Time! Kerry Washington Finally Lands the Cover of a Major Fashion Magazine
@DeepWater Forgot to mention in the movie "Salt" it was the same thing starring Angelina Jolie.
1 year, 5 months ago on Random Thoughts About the Boston Bomber--What's Your Take?
@DeepWater "He's was on the honor roll at Cambridge Latin and Rindge School (high school that famous alumni, including Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, also the mighty Patrick Ewing (retired - NY Knicks, Orl. Seattle Supersonics - now OK Thunder -, Orlando Magic) and went to the prom and just yesterday evening a classmate played soccer with him the previous Monday before the bomb blast this past Monday, he said they hung out and he was just, you know, a good kid, had friends, on wrestling team, in dramatic classes, like ANY other young person in America today. Didn't seem to give off the "I hate America, death to America" type vibes."
I use to watch a show on Showtime called "Sleeper Cell" starring Michael Ealy. These guys are pretty much trained to live a double life. They will make friends with Americans, go to work, stay off the radar, and then one day something like Boston happens. What his friends and family says doesn't surprise me. They really had no idea and that's the whole point, otherwise they could never carry out their plans.
I just hope this will be the last type of film Kerry gets into. She can do better than this. You know as I watching the preview for the movie "After Earth" the new film with Will and his son, I was thinking I wish it were the other way around, that the film starred Jada and her daughter. That would have been a more interesting aspect.
1 year, 5 months ago on Kerry Washington is one of the PEEPLES, New movie coming out May 10th
@Butterfly123 I think the problem was really just the mother. She was coddling him.
I can honestly say that it's so hard to find tops in the store that actually cover you and you can still look hot. I've found it easier to shop online for clothes that cover that area. Sites such as Mango, Zara, and White House/ Black Market. Beautiful dress that cover that top area. Def. check out their stuff.
1 year, 5 months ago on Showing Too Much Cleavage
@Oaktown Paul Oh okay I did read your analysis. I don't know why I thought she was referring to relationship expert Paul Brunson,lol.
1 year, 5 months ago on Abiola Abrams and Mollena Williams Address Now-Infamous Letter That Called Interracial Relationships Into Question
Paul did analysis on the letter? Do you have the link? I'd like to read it.
@JJDPRO Is anyone really surprised by his response??? The trolls are making the rounds to ensure you that this letter is real. Ha! And thanks for confirming that you're 50 yrs old, married to a bw, you know just to confirm the authenticity of your first comment here on this blog.
And notice that trolls ALWAYS reference pornography as their point in sexual behavior between bw & wm. And just to make you feel comfortable and not question their authority over the topic at hand, they have "friends" who date ww who enjoy that kind of disrespect. So it must mean that bw/wm are doing the same? *eye roll*
"If most of you have observed interracial porn videos..."
Most of us don't and to imply that we should says a lot about you as "50 black man chose to date and marry a black woman". What are you doing observing those videos?
@JJDPRO your comment is about as real as that letter. Take it elsewhere.
@temple I've barely read most of the blog post but I'm already nodding my head in agreement! That letter did not fool me from the get-go! Thank you for posting! I even questioned to myself why Essence and Abiola would even entertain such a letter. Omg and the comment section on point with everyone and what I was saying!
"I love my husband deeply so please don’t tell me to leave him because that’s not what I want to do...[p]lease tell me racial slurs aren’t normal between interracial couples? I would like to figure this out before we have kids but I can’t afford to leave him and still maintain my lifestyle.How can I regain my sexual attraction for my husband?"
I love how this person is "seeking advice" but yet at the same time requesting not to be told to leave the relationship, requesting to still maintain the lifestyle (because of obviously that's more important especially for a so called Ivy league graduate who could get a job anywhere and maintain "herself" after 1 year of marriage) before having children. She wants or needs to be told that racial slurs aren't normal between IR couples? This is a question being asked by an Ivy league graduate?
Instead "her" main objective is to seek advice on how to "regain" her sexual attraction to her husband? "She" is not even going to seek advice on HOW to get him to stop since "she" doesn't want to leave and maintain her lifestyle? come on ya'll. This is not adding up.
@uninterracial @Shaylah Lawd that's another topic altogether,lol.
I haven't been able to listen to the segment, I'll check it out when I reach home. But by far, this has got to be the fakest letter I have ever read! I noticed some things just in the beginning of the letter, that made go nuh-huh lies!
"My man keeps calling me a “nigger bitch” during sex and I hate it."
The only time I have ever heard or read this term was from angry bm on YT. That was a big give away for me.
"I have been married for a year and I am at my wit’s end."
Wit's end? For someone who is supposedly of Caribbean decent wit's end is not a common phrase that we use to express our frustration.
"He also speculated about whether his family could have owned mine because I have “good hair.”
Clearly this Jamaican-American born person doesn't know her own history of Jamaica otherwise this would have been corrected.
"My investment banker husband is from a White old money family. I am a first generation Black-American woman whose family is from the island of Jamaica. "
Why is the fact that her husband is from "White old money family" (which is really suppose to be called "old money") even mentioned? And to top if off cuz you know me already...1st generational black-american from the Island of Jamaica! I laughed. Really??? I caught this within a minute. Most angry bm on YT know for a fact that the majority of bw who are dating/married interracially are Caribbean or from Africa.
"Our sex life is pretty much over right now because I pretend to be asleep every time my sexy, handsome man wants to be with me. "
wtf??? come on fake fake fake fake fake! No woman would describe this incident or the man insulting her sex life as sexy.
"Signed, Black and Proud"
Not a phrase a Caribbean person uses.
@BeautyIAM "See, this is why I love Kerry. She is truly a black woman that GETS IT. She isn't trying to satisfy the black man or that black community. She understands her craft. She likes to play characters that experience the wide range of the human experience. So if people are not down with that they can shut up because Kerry doesn't care about what they think."
Kerry Washington is also Jamaican-American, so she didn't grow up with the mindset of she must have a black man! or she must provide for her community! That type of language isn't really brought up in most Caribbean households. I hope my comment doesn't offend anyone, but it's important to know and understand the mindset. No matter what people say about her character and her love interests it'll roll off her back. She has a strong following. She's clearly a great example of black woman with a strong following.
Remember when Star Jones pulled that mess on her about getting w/ the brotha! The guy who plays David on Scandal (Abby's love interest) pretty much scolded Ms. Jones and told her to get her own show and others on twitter defended Ms. Kerry and Shonda. Ha! Now imagine if more black women were attacked and had a strong following to go with it? That is what they fear the most.
1 year, 5 months ago on The Best Explanation for Why [Some] Black Men Troll Black Women's Blogs.
come on! the minute he threw money at her and her friends should have been enough to set an alarm. There was nothing charming about that!
A friend of mine told me about a time where a guy in church went up to her saying that God told him that she would be his wife. My friend (who was already in a relationship at the time) said "I don't think you and I are praying to the same god cause He never told me that", lol. Exactly!
The same happened to my cousin and it freaked her out and left that relationship. If God really did tell you that so and so will be your husband/wife, keep that to yourself. Otherwise the other party will see it as red flag.
1 year, 5 months ago on On Vetting: Could You Be Deceived?
Don't know if this was mentioned before, but there's a musical coming out soon called Jekyll & Hyde. Also IR, I think for the first time too. W/ Deborah Cox
1 year, 5 months ago on Interracial Romeo and Juliet Coming to Braodway!
@CAPT SMOOTH Oh course! Zoe was once engaged to white guy, don't remember his name and then it was called off. Zoe is one of my favorite actresses! She makes no apologies for what she does. Love her confidence! Can't wait for Star Trek II this summer.
I want to see this!!! Thanks for sharing! I always had love for Orlando Bloom, did ya'll see him in Haven w/ Zoe Saldana? loved it!
I believe there's both sides to this. Finding your future husband in college is an OPTION, not necessarily a must. I graduated from college 3 years ago, and unfortunately none of the guys that I met were "marriage minded" or interested in long term relationships and still aren't. Some had a reputation that I wanted nothing to do with. Will they change later down the road? Sure! But at that time they wanted what they wanted. Pickings aren't slim after you leave college. In the end the question is where else can you mingle to meet other men? The gym? volunteer work? during campaign season? online? You really can meet men just about everywhere.
Not everyone is going to find their high school/ college sweet heart. They are the exception not the rule. For everyone else myself included, love will be found elsewhere.
I want to point out as well, that the article mentions that women in college focus solely on their studies and not seeking a mate. Hmmm no! I honestly don't know who she's been talking to. The majority of women at my University were always looking for someone but the numbers and interest reciprocated weren't adding up. There wasn't a time where a group of us would hang in the dorm and some would lament they fact they haven't found or met anyone at the school. You can walk into just about any classroom and there's always more women than men there. The numbers don't add. I highly suggest to women still in college or even out, to not only look at the men in their school but also consider online dating as well. There are single available marriage minded men out there who have not found their one either. Don't let articles like this make you feel like you've done something wrong. You have options and it's not just on campus.
1 year, 5 months ago on The Feminist Backlash Continues: Princeton Alumn Advises Women to Seek Out Their Future Husbands in College | Beyond Black & White
@PamelaFoster I also noticed that when she reached the podium the lady behind her had to instruct Tony to stand back. lol. I thought dude slow your roll, you're married! lol.
I think they have great chemistry. I want it kept that way. I won't get into the fantasy that they are indeed "together", I 'll that to Olivia and the Prez.
1 year, 6 months ago on Get your copy! Kerry Washington covers TV Guide Magazine
@Brice Cameron @Tammy_Ghalden Thank you!
@Brice Cameron @Tammy_Ghalden really? when did this happen? Link please I would love to read it!
I love Kerry for all reasons. Not to mention she's tweeted me twice! *squeals*
@Lexi88 @kia Okay ladies we're definitely rules women.
1 year, 6 months ago on Question of the Week: "How Do I Support My Boyfriend During Divorce and Custody Drama?"
@kia Great minds think a like.
"And the men won't say anything because they're getting all the perks of a wife without having to financially support or marry the woman. Meaning he can leave the relationship whenever he wants, if he gets bored, or becomes interested in someone else. Women being emotionally involved with men's drama that they are not married to. "
This right here is exactly what I am afraid for R. Kamaria. I'm reading the story and I just know that this guy will either one day no longer pick up the phone or excuse of himself for the sake of the kids. When I read the part about the child's birthday party, I'm thinking "way too emotionally invested in this relationship, just doing too much".
Oh my lord, every other sentence was a big ragging red flag. R. Kamaria if anything read The Rules II (Chapter 19) you gotta set boundaries. This is doing the most when you should be enjoying yourself with the guy.
My advice to this lady is to ask yourself "is he really worth all this trouble?" If yes, realize you're going to be dealing with this and to stay out of it as much as possible. Not to mention he should not be bringing up his ex-wife into the conversation. The relationship is about the two of you. If the wife wants to ignore you, let her. She's not obligated to take you seriously until you become his wife. Don't play wifey if you're only his girlfriend. I pretty much agree w/ what Christelyn said.
By the way you deserve better than this. All the best.
@DWB I remember some years ago, I came across this video on youtube about men and the color pink and that men are attracted to pink on a woman. So I thought I'd try it out, cuz I myself am not a big fan of pink. So I went on my first online date and the guy I was dating at the time loved my pink blouse. Even later while we were dating me mentioned how much he loved the blouse. So def. wear pink. the rest of the vid.. I was like meeeh. not sure about that,lol.
1 year, 6 months ago on Three Ways to an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
@JQAbroad you'll love it! I borrowed mine at my local library, I'm going to renew it! You'll feel empowered after you're done.
A good book to read that tells you EXACTLY how to vet and handle situations is The Rules for Online dating
here's the book...
You can also check out their official website...
A lot of the tips the ladies here gave you is correct, but there's so much more. Def. read the book.
Honestly thank you for your replies, because I'm just not seeing what's so offensive about the word. I'm actually blogging about this outcry of hating the word, which I never understood.
1 year, 6 months ago on Recognizing the Necessity and Importance of Dark-Skinned Feminine Beauty Part II
@jakethewrestler @The Working Home Keeper
You gave a scenario in which the word exotic is bad. Exotic can't be good either? It could be a culturally thing on my part, but it still doesn't explain why the word is offensive?