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May I add that although I am happy for her, I do hope that she will transition into other, more mainstream roles. i.e. not a slave or a maid lol!

6 months, 2 weeks ago on The Media Message: Lupita Nyong’o Is Another Man’s Treasure

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@mzsunshine  I like the fuschia lipstick too!

6 months, 2 weeks ago on We Want More!! Brown, Beautiful, and Killing It: Lupita Nyong’o

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I am very happy for Lupita. It is good to see a black woman with her complexion be celebrated like this. I love it.

6 months, 2 weeks ago on The Media Message: Lupita Nyong’o Is Another Man’s Treasure

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This is so sad. A lot of women don't realize they are being USED until they have wasted a lot of time. There are also divorced men who don't want to pay their ex child support and don't want to do the dirty work of raising children so they survive on a series of live in girlfriends. 

 

After four years of playing mommy a woman finally realizes that her bf does not want to marry her and he does NOT want children with her.

1 year ago on Best Response EVER to the “Marriage is Just a Piece of Paper” Comment…

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My foundation: Black Opal and my red lipstick

1 year ago on BB&W Beauty Exchange: What Won’t You Leave the House Without Wearing?

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It is ironical that white women can pretend to be so angry about  the 'evil' of patriarchy yet most of them have husbands and/or fathers who protect and provide for them. Don't watch what they say. Watch what they do.

 

 

1 year ago on "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen" And That's Not Going To Change In Feminism

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What a brilliant article. The reality is that everyone is more concerned about getting theirs, which means that the stronger will always be able to focus on their own wants and ignore the suffering of t he weaker. 

 

I have learned to evaluate people INDIVIDUALLY in order to identify potential allies. Even among black women, there are many who are not interested in my suffering at all because they are keen to hold on to a sense of relative privilege.

1 year ago on Why <em>I</em> don't call myself a "feminist" (and probably never will...)

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Wow! That is one beautiful woman!

1 year, 1 month ago on Adorable Aussie Couple!

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 @FriendsofJay 

BM get a pass on their racist behavior because racism is almost always framed as white men oppressing black men.

 

Black men have cornered the 'victim' position. Black women are also victims of racism but we have to put all our focus on the black man because black men's suffering is more important than black women's.

 

Meanwhile white men are the eternal villains.

1 year, 2 months ago on On Your Guard: The ‘Blacklash’ Has Begun. Violence Against BW/WM Couples and Families Trending.

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I think this is a very interesting topic. I read somewhere that black women are the least likely to get pain medication during treatment in hospital. I didn't realize it was actually a true story. Wow.

 

1 year, 2 months ago on Apologize For Wanting To Be (Or Being) Happy? Pfffft....

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 @SirLoinDeBeef 

I totally agree. Sometimes there are situations where dads are just set up to fail no matter what they do.

1 year, 2 months ago on "Father Hunger" The Cause of Many Womens' Relationship Woes

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the hair story is sooo weird!!! In my high school and primary school we were NOT  allowed to have relaxers or weaves. The hair HAD to be natural - and the teacher was ready to dunk it in water to be double SURE you had natural hair.

 

 

1 year, 2 months ago on Recap of All the WTF News We Missed Last Week...

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Congratulations! I love Kola's courage.

1 year, 2 months ago on BB&W Exclusive: Kola Boof Engaged to Rainbeau, Pilot and Businessman, Jason Appelbaum

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 @Avoc42883  @Brenda55  @kia 

 

EXACTLY!! I have had some experiences with with black men making mean comments about my darkness. But overall usually it is lighter women trying to exert dominance in big and small ways. That has been my main problem. 

1 year, 2 months ago on Dark Girls Documentary Hits Home For Some

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 @browniegirl360  @DU2  @dtfamu89 

 

"Being lite, does not make you....WHITE."

 

It certainly does not. But I think such people are satisfied with their relative  privilege over darker skinned blacks so they would rather maintain status quo.

1 year, 2 months ago on Dark Girls Documentary Hits Home For Some

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 @Brenda55  @Alana 2 

 

Thanks for the info. I think it is important to be clear that colorism is systemic. It goes beyond having low self esteem or looking for validation from people or 'needing everyone to love us' as I have seen mentioned. 

 

Just like one can be a victim of racism/antisemitism/sexism etc even if she has a healthy self esteem and isn't looking for validation from people.

 

1 year, 2 months ago on Dark Girls Documentary Hits Home For Some

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Yes. Black women DO have a sickness when it comes to hair. And I do mean black women EVERYWHERE. Even in a black African country where 98% of women have kinky hair there is still a belief that natural hair is for school girls. 

1 year, 2 months ago on Black Women Have a Sickness When It Comes to Hair

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I suppose what is owed is to give credit where it is due. 

1 year, 2 months ago on Paying It Forward: What Does BB&amp;W Owe BWE?

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Maybe some of these women  don't despise marriage. Maybe they are afraid to be disappointed and they are preempting it. If a woman't mother aunties etc didn't get married, she would probably be afraid to hope for the whole happy ending  thing.

 

1 year, 2 months ago on Why Do Some Black Women Consider Marriage "The Enemy"? Part I

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According to Evia, bw should pursue Education AND Marriage in order to maximize their chances of having a good life.

1 year, 2 months ago on Black Women Are Spending Too Much Time and Effort Going to School, They Should Be Spending That Time Trying to Get Married

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 @LadyHumor 

I like this advice.

1 year, 2 months ago on The Race Factor: Are You Out-Filtering Good Prospects Online?

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 @MarkCustard 

Amazing. Just amazing. I'm married and even I haven't changed my name!

1 year, 5 months ago on 'Playing house is not a good look,' the ex-girlfriend of 'Sesame Street' actor Roscoe Orman learns that lesson the hard way

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 @Statuesque 

It is interesting that white men often take care of their daughters more than their sons. My friend's husband paid his daughters college tuition PLUS gave her a monthly allowance for upkeep and gave her a car. The same man told his son to get a student loan and get a job.

1 year, 5 months ago on Yet Another Liberal Horse-Poo Article Confirming the Necessity for BWE...

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 @KinkyBottleBlonde00 

"The truth about people who can not get it together in their lives is not my struggle, and I have too much education to even consider it making it a struggle."

 

I like this!

1 year, 5 months ago on Yet Another Liberal Horse-Poo Article Confirming the Necessity for BWE...

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 @Lili2009 

Why does he need your support?

1 year, 5 months ago on Yet Another Liberal Horse-Poo Article Confirming the Necessity for BWE...

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Wow. This is good!

1 year, 5 months ago on An open letter to Ise Lyfe

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 @JQAbroad 

It is true that many college guys are not marriage minded. The good thing about men is that they are usually very forthright about their intentions. If a man is not looking for marriage, he will usually say that he is not looking for commitment. This gives you the opportunity to leave the relationship early before you have invested too much time.

1 year, 5 months ago on The Feminist Backlash Continues: Princeton Alumn Advises Women to Seek Out Their Future Husbands in College | Beyond Black & White

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This is so true!!! I read a tragic story of a woman whose partner of ten years died and she wasn't even allowed anywhere near the funeral or vigil! Yep because she was not 'family.'

1 year, 5 months ago on 'Playing house is not a good look,' the ex-girlfriend of 'Sesame Street' actor Roscoe Orman learns that lesson the hard way

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They were probably just curious about your hair lol! \

OTOH you. look. good.

1 year, 5 months ago on Reasons Why Couples Should Stay Away From Mexico During Spring Break

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 @EnJay

I can understand how some black entertainers would want to drop the black card in exchange for more opportunities. I can also see why a lot of blacks don't like it when someone who didn't want to be known as black in the first place gets into trouble and suddenly all blacks need to defend him/her because you know ... we need to stick together.

1 year, 5 months ago on To Whom It May Concern: Black Skin <em>Is</em> "International".

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She's got two kids from two different guys. That just about says it all.

1 year, 5 months ago on To Whom It May Concern: Black Skin <em>Is</em> "International".

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She didn't want to get married again after the trainwreck that was her marriage to Ike. I'm glad she changed her mind though.

1 year, 5 months ago on Love Has EVERYTHING to Do With It: Tina Turner Finally to Marry Long-Time Rainbeau

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 @kia 

Single mothers and their children form one of the fastest growing demographics of poor people. The two are related.

1 year, 5 months ago on The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost, and Single Mothers Whine About Being the New 'Whipping Girls'

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I agree! The decisions a woman makes are not just about herself, but they determine the welfare of her children and the future generations.

1 year, 5 months ago on The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost, and Single Mothers Whine About Being the New 'Whipping Girls'

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 @tonyrog  @BeautyIAM  @Alene  @EarthJeff 

If you are 78 then you probably have some wisdom to share

1 year, 5 months ago on Since We're Discussing It...The Pot Calling the Kettle ONYX...

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Just as bad as the act of rape itself is the silence that surrounds it. When everyone looks away. I think rape survivors feel violated not just by their rapists but by everyone who chooses to get into meaningless discussions about 'consent.'

1 year, 5 months ago on Lets Talk About 'Rape' and 'Consent', Steubenville High School Edition

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I think the reason for this is that black women, because they suffer the most from prejudice (being both black and female) often feel the need to be 'FAIR' to other people.

 

I don't see others bending over backwards to be 'fair' to BW because their PRIVILEGE gives them an opportunity to be blissfully (or willfully) ignorant. Basically, they don't know how painful it is, so the thought just doesn't occur to them. 

 

BW tend to jump to add those disclaimers not just in defense of BM but also WW. TBH I have been on a lot of WW sites and I just don't see WW jumping to add that disclaimer (not all bw are like that) the same way BW do it for WW.

 

I see the same trend in the colorism threads. It is more common for a dark skinned bw to make an effort to be 'fair' to her light skinned peer than the reverse. Not that it never happens, of course, it just happens less often.

 

1 year, 5 months ago on Brenda55: "Why talk about Black men at all?"

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"One of the only times I did see it happen when a black man stood up, he was gay."

 

LOL!

1 year, 5 months ago on Brenda55: "Why talk about Black men at all?"

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 @Aabaakawad  @LorMarie  @Law Wanxi 

Usually single dads' children are raised by their female relatives. My stepson was cared for by his grandma before I came on the scene. My husband paid for his financial needs and visited once a month but if you ask the child he will tell you that it was grandma not daddy who raised him when he was little.

1 year, 5 months ago on Time to Own It: My Mea Culpa on No Wedding No Womb 2010

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the floral pumps are so lovely!

1 year, 5 months ago on Ladylike Trend- SS 2013

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I've watched a lot of the televised discussions on the AA family situation, and 99.9% of the time the man's ONLY concern is to apportion blame on bw. Best to just not include them at all.

 

If you are trying to find a solution and the person you are talking to is only trying to assign blame; you won't get anywhere with him. In fact you will find yourself taking all the blame just to move the discussion forward.

1 year, 5 months ago on Time to Own It: My Mea Culpa on No Wedding No Womb 2010

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 @KingsDaughter 

I can't really say what kind of age gap is too big because that is an individual thing. My husband is 10 years older than me and me and the only difference between us is that he has some grey hairs. He is actually much fitter than I am physically because he does A LOT of running lol. I find that older guys have no problems taking on responsibilities.

 

 

1 year, 5 months ago on Why I Think Black Women Need Tear Sheets on Elin Nordegren

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I love, love, love this article. Especially the part about the age difference. Ladies please please please don't write off older men! They are often better than younger men in soooo many ways.

1 year, 5 months ago on Why I Think Black Women Need Tear Sheets on Elin Nordegren

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 @kia 

Yes! I agree completely. You should not have to privately meet the crazy ex under any circumstances. The ex divorced her husband and in so doing opened the way for another woman to be involved in her children's lives. That was her choice and she better live with it.

 

Before you marry this man ensure that he has the balls to set up boundaries otherwise you are in for a life of hell where this woman will be running your household! If he will not protect you then you need to be worried.

 

Realize the possibility/probability that the ex will probably succeed in alienating her kids from their father if she does not stop with her jealousy. This would cause a lot of pain to your man and you. PAS is very common among children of divorce.

 

Finally, it is not too late to find a man without kids ;)

1 year, 5 months ago on Question of the Week: "How Do I Support My Boyfriend During Divorce and Custody Drama?"

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