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@jdependance I like all kinds of rainbeaus because it's so hard to choose from all the good looking men, BUT I have a very LARGE sweet spot reserved for Asian men of all stripes- Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Samoans (although they are more Pacific Islanders, but whatever) etc. -the list goes on and on. I also love learning about different Asian cultures and languages.
I love Asian men! Don't be shy about it, you are not alone!
2 years, 1 month ago on Are You Afraid of "Coming Out of the Closet" About Your Preference to Swirl?
Actually...I honestly think I might be able to sing it better (or, at the very least, just as well). "
In front of millions of people...on the national mall...on inauguration day...in 30 degree weather... standing next to Obama....and Biden....and Michelle Obama....and in front of a camera broadcasted to the entire world?!
Damn girl! I wish had your confidence, I would make all my evil mastermind dreams come true and take over the world! Muahahaha!
I don't doubt you can sing. Maybe you can actually sing better than Beyonce, but nobody here has made a stunningly successful career out of it as she has.
I mean come on people. Give credit where credit is due and leave it at that!
2 years, 1 month ago on What Did You Think About President Obama's Second and Final Inauguration?
IKR. I liked Beyonce's performance. She did fine. People seem to forget that the band she was singing to ALSO lip-played. Is that a word? haha. Anyway, their instruments were prerecorded and they pretended to play.
The first family was so beautiful and dignified.
Of course people are going to draw comparisons between MLK and Obama. They are both Black.
People have little imagination.
2 years, 1 month ago on Is it Okay for 'Black' People to Compare President Obama to MLK? Some Say No...
I totally disagree with the Jezebel post, but it was an opinion piece for "F*ck You Week" so it in NO WAY represents the main view of feminist or the most full or honest view of the ranges of modern feminist thinking on breastfeeding.
So all the anger and disgust in the comments below (I do share them) are directed at somebody venting some gripe they have in an opinion piece on a blog looking for hits.
2 years, 1 month ago on "Jezebel" Gives Me a Concrete Example of Why I Hate Some Facets of Modern Feminism
@Sunshine789 @Jamila @Christelyn "An out-of-wedlock pregnancy can destroy the lives of many black women, while a white woman will have resources to fall back on. A white woman can be promiscuous and make it "work" for her persona (in some instances, and only on some levels), but a black woman is more likely to face harsher social penalties for it."
I have only seen one clip from the show Girls. It showed some white girl high on crack and the funny part of the scene was suppose to be that she though she was smoking weed, but it was really crack and when she figured this out she said, "don't let my mom find out."
I was dumbfounded...Then again, I don't watch much American TV anymore, none-the-less cable...
Your tumblr is really nice Elegance. Love seeing all the beautiful ladies. Thanks for sharing. :)
2 years, 1 month ago on What is Feminine?
This is awesome.
A few months ago I saw an ad for National Grid, (electric company in NYC) at their main headquarters no less, with an interracial family- a white man with his black wife and he was carrying their daughter on his shoulders. They were all smiling and laughing. I was so happy to see it.
2 years, 1 month ago on Slideshow: 13 Swirl-Inspired Ads You Wouldn't Have Seen 13 Years Ago
@tmluvsfashion Me too! It's over a minute and a half long. It's like a music video :D
@Neecy I agree with so much of this!
There is definitely a range of stylistic femininity.
I think as long as you dress in a way that highlights your best physical qualities, then what matters is your character, your attitude, and how you carry yourself as far as projecting a feminine attitude. If a woman is dressed to the nines in a dress and heels, but drunk off of cocktails and cursing then her clothes will do nothing to project femininity.
@Lexi88 "Women shouldn't play hard to get, you must be hard to get. "
Exactly! Have conviction and be sincere.
2 years, 1 month ago on Zabeth: Some of Ya'll Need a Crash Course in "The Rules!"
This movie should not have been made. It is too soon after the events happened. Some of the direct consequences of these events are still in progress and we just don't know about them.
This entire endeavor is problematic and blurs the line between entertainment/art and real life events in the present.
**However "accurate" the film's producers claim it to be or innocuous the film seems, make no mistake, it is slick 21st century propaganda.**
What else could a theatrical film (not a documentary, not a news piece) about an on-going war and on-going covert operations be? Really? Let's not be naive. Let's not go easy on ourselves because it's too hard, or complicated, or not fun to do differently than just swallow wholeheartedly all the "entertaining" crap Hollywood dishes out. Instead, let's BE CONSCIOUS and think about it. Otherwise we might as well be filing into the theaters in the 1940s. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Allied_propaganda_films_of_World_War_II#United_States
A documentary is ok. (Even that, given it's timing, could be propaganda, but at least a documentary doesn't present itself as fictive and so it can be critically challenged for being inaccurate, illogical, misleading etc.)
A news program about the events is fine.
Theatrical movie. Umm, NO.
NO war propaganda thank you very much.
(And for the record, I supported the American government's hunt for Bin Laden and agree that it was within our nation's interest to pursue him and kill him (and other proven terrorist), even if I did not always agree with the methods used, ie. drone attacks.)
2 years, 1 month ago on "Zero Dark Thirty"--Director Kathryn Bigelow Does It Again
This is a refreshing and self-affirming post. Thank you.
2 years, 1 month ago on Love: Why You Don’t Have to Be Perfect To Find Love, or Anything Else.
@reem11 @ImaniScully Women are sometimes vulnerable and sometimes strong. Men are sometimes vulnerable and sometimes strong. It depends on the situation and the person and even their age. It's not all one or the other.
2 years, 1 month ago on Clueless About How to Be Feminine? Take a Look-See...
@mzsunshine @KolaBoof1 So true, so true!
2 years, 1 month ago on Kola Boof: Billionaires Prefer *Black* Women
Peter Norton and his wife Gwen look like a lovely couple who are happy people. They look very compatible. They kind of look like each other, which is something I think happy couples tend to do.
Haha! Maybe I'm aiming too low and should try to get myself a billionaire :D
I would love to know how these couples met (the non celebrity ones!) as I find it difficult to let average rainbeaus know I am interested non-the-less the billionaire ones...
@zabeth "IMO, I don’t think women, period, really like each other all that much- with the exception of close personal friends"
2 years, 1 month ago on An Open Letter to Black Women Who Don't Think Feminism Is For Them
The problem with these kind of pro or against feminism stances is that there is no given definition of feminism to be for or against.
If you've taken women's studies classes or have studied feminism then you know there are many different schools of thought and that they often have opposite or very different viewpoints. There are so many branches and they change all the time. Feminism was once a movement, but in my mind, in 21st century America, it is more a philosophy or a belief one can hold and use to influence their actions. Philosophies grow and change and can be influenced by the writings of others and that is what has happened to feminism. I find it is more of an activist movement in places where there are less basic rights for women.
Saying I am pro or against feminism tells you very little about what a person believes or doesn't believe about the rights of women and their place in society. We have to be more specific.
@Jillian2323 Since show is called Khloe and Lamar so I'm not surprised Malika ended up being a sidekick since the show couldn't have the other Kardashian sisters around all the time since they would overshadow Khloe, especially Kim K.
2 years, 1 month ago on Just Who is Afro-Iranian?
Congratulations! Wonderful news :)
2 years, 1 month ago on Congrats are in order! Our very own Eugenia is expecting her own little bun!
@Maxine Shamelessly puts them on the cover too.
>head shaking side eye<
2 years, 1 month ago on An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian Regarding Her Preggo News
@arlette81 I think the message of the post, about the issue of out-of-wedlock children in the black community is on point, but this open letter to Kim K. seems like a gimmick. Mostly because of #4 above. Kim's sister has 2 children out of wedlock and nobody cares because somehow Kim K's out of wedlock child is influencing black girls, but not her sister Kourtney?
Kim is white. She is mostly Armenian mixed with some other white ethnicities. She doesn't give a rats ass about black people any more than any other random white person you might encounter. Is what she is doing and how she lives her life a good thing to emulate? Hell no!
*****But the sad reality that we must face is that the primary role models for young black girls/women and young black boys/men who produce out-of-wedlock children is their own parents and other people in their family and in their neighborhood who they interact with daily. The people you deal with everyday and the community you live in have a much greater impact than what some celebrity does. Most likely, young black women and men who come from stable 2 parent families will not be having babies out of wedlock and that is on US as a community, not some celebrity who is not Black, could not care less if she tried, and doesn't even know we exist.******
The behavior of other non-black people will not solve the problems of the Black community.
There is pretty much nothing I like about Kim K. so I don't want this to be construed as me defending her.
@Jillian2323 Child support does not make one a gold digger.
I have met a number of people from South or Central American countries who claim that there are no "Black" people in their country. I am not sure what that means, but I took it to mean people of African descent. Most of these instances I gave a quizzical look and didn't say anything, but I was under the impression that there are long standing communities of people of African descent in all of the countries of the Western Hemisphere. Maybe I am wrong...
The level of denial and ignorance of African heritage and ancestry in Latin America is probably higher than anywhere else.
2 years, 1 month ago on Do We Care About Our Afro-Latina Sisters?
"The thing of it is I think feminism as an ideal is absolutely essential. It's the movement that bugs me. " - Toni
"So in other words, I don't have to be a feminist to feel passionate about women's rights and concerns or a member of the NAACP to fight for civil righst for ALL." - mzsunshine
These are statements I can agree with.
But we have to be very explicit about separating the MESSAGE and the MOVEMENT.
2 years, 1 month ago on Why <em>I</em> don't call myself a "feminist" (and probably never will...)
She seems happy for somebody married to a hit man...
2 years, 2 months ago on So What's It Like To Be Black, A Woman, And Gasp!!! Married To The Mob
Your daughter is so precious! Aww :) Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!
2 years, 2 months ago on A Very Special Christmas to My BB&W Family!
Most successful people were one of these growing up.
2 years, 2 months ago on "Blerds": The Rise of the Black Nerd Movement
Nerd, dork, geek, dweeb...
@Christelyn @keimiasmoon I find that what matters most in Manhattan is economic class, social class and career. Manhattanites are workaholics. [Work hard, play hard is the mentality] A lot of your time is spent working and networking and that is where you meet people.
I've found that you have to stop identifying yourself as 'Black' first, but instead as 'Woman' first and *some* of the racial issues will go away. In the city you need to be cool, put together, and about something, or at least give that illusion. You need to have an identity and an impressionable one at that. Manhattan is filled, brimming over, with gorgeous and smart women (of all races) and some of them are genuinely nice people on top of that, so men really have a field day.
I also find that having gone to a predominately White college and some predominately White K-12 schools gave me a lot of experience in moving through predominately White social circles and/or international social circles. You have got to be about something and have some interest other than being/representing your designated race.
2 years, 2 months ago on Question of the Week: "do you think it's unnatural to exclusively desire a race other than your own?"
Divorce is the biggest threat to marriage, not gay marriage which once it becomes lawful (and it will one day) will just be marriage, no qualifiers or descriptors.
2 years, 2 months ago on On DOMA: Are We Defending Marriage or Hate?
People don't want gay marriage because marriage and family brings power, opportunity, wealth, and legitimacy in society.
A family unit is incredibly powerful.
We don't need to outlaw guns, but we need to regulate them better.
That is where the divide lies. The NRA and extreme gun enthusiast want as much freedom as possible when it comes to gun ownership and that is not only irresponsible, it is deadly.
It's like all or nothing. This is the same kind of ridiculous polarization with abortion.
Can't we be sensible about it?
We also need to realize that part of the gun lobby is business related and has nothing to do with earnest Americans who live in the country or on farms or wherever and who use guns as part of their work and daily life/culture. Making guns is a business and there are some who intend to stay profitable.
I am not a particular fan of guns. I did not grow up with them. It is not part of my daily life or culture. It is just something I have very little interest in myself, but I respect those who do have guns as part of their culture. I don't want to "take" guns away from people in some reactionary zeal, but something is wrong with the gun violence in our country and if gun owners and enthusiast can't cop to that then they have something deeply wrong with their perception and understanding of reality.
Our culture is extremely violent and gun focused. This is just a fact and yet we are shocked by tragedies like this. How many times can we be shocked? Are we really shocked by this? Let's be honest. We aren't shocked because this kind of gun violence is quickly becoming par for the course. Disturbed? Yes... Saddened? Yes... Grief-stricken? Yes... but anyone who has been paying attention to the news in 2012 should not be shocked. This is the culture we've *chosen* and *encouraged.* There now seems to be several of these tragic mass shootings every year.... Just a few days ago someone was executed on the street in Manhattan in broad daylight....
I think it is a low point when with 27 dead people, 20 of which are children, some people think they can still argue against **any and/or all further** gun regulation and not come off as anything other than a callous, cold-hearted, and disillusioned person who covets unrestricted access to guns over human life. Sorry, this is not the tragedy to use to make your case that "people kill people, not guns."
2 years, 2 months ago on The Next Time Someone Says Newtown Is Not a Political Issue, Ask Them if the Sky is Blue...
@Christelyn @ZANE_X Just expressing how off putting the *comment* was to me, not trying to be personal.
2 years, 2 months ago on Who Says "Black" is "Black?" Kola Boof Has Folks Hopping Mad...Again.
@ZANE_X "If we don't control who is Black then..."
We can't control who is Black anymore than we can control who is White.
I'm sorry, if Soledad O'Brien went around like Tiger Woods, almost disavowing her Black roots, then we would vilify her.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Also Black in another country, Brazil, has little to do with the definition of Black in the US.
I'm sorry, you're comment is just.... Cray, cray.
"I don't like the NAACP president right now because he looks too White for me."
"This is like slavery continuing and it needs to stop."
No, it's not.
You may not consider Soledad O'Brien a Black person, but she sure as hell ain't a "White woman."
A mixed-race person gets to decide how they identify themselves. Period. It's their right because they are both.
There are lots of people considered "White" in America who weren't always considered so. Namely Italians, Greeks, Irish people, Spanish (as in from Spain). (These groups, save for the Irish, were not considered the "White" race in Europe.) They became "White" in America. " White covers a lot of ground and accepts many people.
Again, lets not confound race, ethnicity, and culture. They overlap/intersect, but they are not the same thing. Certainly not in America.
I am a Black woman, but other than both having brown skin, Kola and I have very little in common culturally.
@fayatm I think her point is that Hispanic is not Black so therefore she is swirling. An African American in a relationship with a Hispanic person is considered an IRR relationship however you define race.
2 years, 2 months ago on Ever Wonder What White Guys Say About Black Women When We're Not Around? Well...
@Brenda55 "A woman can never instil or grant masculinity in a man."
I totally agree with this, but I think some people would find a controversial statement.
2 years, 2 months ago on New Study Reveals Black Women Viewed as "Masculine;" Asian Men Sterotyped "Feminine." How This Affects Swirling.
@Tammy_Ghalden Some people are in denial about how absolutely fabulous Michelle Obama is, all day, every single day. I don't know that there is anything that can be done to help them see the light.
@Elegance Serena Williams is an athlete. I don't think she can really help her body given that her sister, who is also athletic, has a completely different body than her. Serena is not foul mouthed or hard. She's soft spoken with an incredibly womanly voice.
She dresses well and is quite hot when she dresses up. And...she swirls. Why are you lumping her in with Blackistan?...Is it her aggressiveness on the tennis court? She leaves that on the court and is way cute otherwise. She's funny, wealthy, successful, not a baby-mama, and she swirls!
Her body is muscular and not everyone's cup of tea, but she is quite pretty.
...I love her in that red dress!...hence all the pictures :D
@Jamila @DWB @thewaitingarea
"Investment income is taxed at a lower tax rate than personal earnings, hence a person is the top 1% will be paying a lower overall tax rate (but a higher personal income tax rate) than a person who only has income from earnings. "
Correct Jamila! You wanna be rich, then know this: You make money with money not specifically through work. That's the lesson to learn from rich people.
2 years, 2 months ago on Opinion: Can Americans Really Afford 4 More Years of Entitlements? Former Liberal Says Loyalties of the Poor are Misguided
I really think the men who are prone to feeling emasculated by women have other deep seeded issues that make them lack confidence. I don't see how a man who "has a high level of self-assurance, knows what he brings to the table, and brings it" could possibly be derailed because the woman he loves brings home beaucoup bacon. Why? Because he knows what he brings to the table!
This type of man who feels emasculated by women is probably also bested by other men, alpha men, in the workplace. Something tells me that man would not ever be a CEO no matter who his wife is. The problem is within him.
2 years, 2 months ago on Up For Discussion: Is There a War on Men?
@Leona_LoveQuest @Christelyn IKR. How would that expectation work for all the women out there who haven't been raised in 2 parent homes themselves. They wouldn't even fit the criteria they impose...
@Jamila We need more trade and technical schools. People who know a trade that is used by the community and can use that skill to start their own business if so inclined.
"She said that these four things combined have contributed to men feeling rudderless in society with a very real gender shift in which women become the providers while the men sit back and watch porn and play video games."
This is a lame and cliched excuse made by horny, lazy boys who don't want to get off their butts.
Women are not the purveyors of porn or video games. Men are. Men were part of the sexual revolution also- people seem to forget that. And the women's liberation movement has benefitted us all, men included- as Jamila said below, "radical/lesbian feminists are held up as symbols of mainstream feminists--when they actually anything but." The women's liberation movement was not just a radical/lesbian feminist agenda that had no bearing on the lives of everyday women like us.
If a guy wants to "be a man," then he should act like a man. Know what I mean? Man up and realize that no woman [or man] can emasculate a man by succeeding at something, unless he fails to realize his own worth as man *first.
Some things are not women's fault.
@AJ2011 This video is awesome! It is an hour long and so worth it.
2 years, 3 months ago on Commentary on the Crooked Room: Melissa Harris-Perry Shines a Light On How Perception Affects Black Women
@Sunshine789 I've never been completely convinced about the skin lightning rumors about Beyonce...I don't know. She looks pretty light in that 9 year old picture to me.
Ameenah Kaplan isn't a 'complete stranger' he saw on the subway. She's an actress on TV. youngteach's gushing over Ameenah sounds like the normal gushing any regular Joe or Jane would have over his/her latest celebrity crush. Sometimes we racialize things that are not racial. BW have got to let go of the never-ending suspicion.
2 years, 3 months ago on Being A Straight White Guy: An Article Review AND I Confess My Love For Ameenah Kaplan