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@your epiphany @WendyLBarber@oekmamaI remember talking to my mother and asking her why we couldn't be friends like I see the other girls (white) do with their mothers. My mother told me that she wasn't finished raising me yet and it was only after she was finished raising me and I was really grown that we could be friends. It couldn't have been truer. We're now very good friends and speak every day and very candidly at that.
23 hours, 9 minutes ago on Rachel Canning, Girl Suing Her Parents for College Tuition Just Might Be a Sociopath
@Alexcee7 @Brenda55 *Hugs* So happy to hear that you left an abusive situation. In your case, you needed to get out of there and out of that toxic church. I certainly hope it didn't kill your faith being there. You're well on your way to success and well deserved happiness. Your hard work is in clear contrast to my sister's sad tale. Thank you for sharing it and I will keep you in my prayers.
23 hours, 12 minutes ago on Rachel Canning, Girl Suing Her Parents for College Tuition Just Might Be a Sociopath
@Brenda55 I have an older sister who accused my parents of abuse because she wanted to do what she wished. I believe I have told everyone here that my father adopted my three older siblings when he married my mother. Their fathers did not wish to be a part of their children's lives so my father gave his name and culture to them. Raised them like his own. I'm the eldest of our father's biological children.
Anyways, this older sister was just like this young lady, except she not only had the one boyfriend, but at age 13 thought it was a good idea to start having sex. My parents were livid, disgusted, and most of all worried. They warned her. They grounded her. In the end, they spanked her and nothing worked. She was determined to ruin her life. She went to CPS and told them that she was an abused child. She was taken out of the house and CPS was also trying to get my two younger siblings and I taken into foster care as well. She lied about not having things. No we didn't have the latest and greatest, but we had clothes, food, a roof over our heads and the ability to pursue certain activities like orchestra, band, and choir.
Well, my sister took my parents to court accusing them of abuse. Like getting beat down with fists, feet, and hard objects abuse. No such thing happened in our house. My grandparents took her in and that only lasted about two months because she was caught in the pews of my grandparents church having sex with some boy. Then my uncle and his wife took her in and that lasted not too long either because she got pregnant and then accused a family member of doing it. She still doesn't know who the father of her first child is because she had that many sexual partners. She even had a stint with some counselors who thought that my sisters stories were true and that my parents were monsters. I don't know what happened, but after several months they put her out of the house, profusely apologized to my parents, and said that they never wanted to see her face again.
In the meantime, my parents were still trying to raise me (age 12 at the time) and my two younger siblings (ages 10 and 2). The final court date the judge asked if she wanted to go home, which meant that she would either have to give her child up for adoption or get an abortion, or did she want to be emancipated? We said that she wanted to be emancipated. The judge said sorry to my parents who cried bitter tears for her for years trying to steer her clear of this path she was on.
She was put on welfare, a couple of years later she got hooked in with some DBR and had two more OOW kids. Married a man 23 years her senior and had her only two in wedlock children. Got bored of him, cheated on him and then went on to have another OOW child before marrying a DBR boy. She is now single. She has had numerous STDs. She lives in blackistan and her kids are mostly a mess. The only child who is doing well is the eldest who is married, has a job and her family is from the West Indies. At first they didn't want this young man in their family, but now they've warmed up to him because he has surprisingly become a productive member of society in spite of his upbringing and environment. He barely visits my sister or his siblings because he doesn't want them to rub off on his children.
When I saw that picture of the Cannings crying and that spoiled little sociopathic b!+ch of a daughter not even batting an eye, I saw my parents. All of their grief, anguish, misery and worry. I saw that in those people. I feel so sad for them. I remember my father crying at the table telling her that if she didn't stop what she was doing, she would be in for a very rough life. She simply rolled her eyes. It's only today that she admits that she put our family through the ringer because she only was concerned with what she wanted to do. It didn't matter who was hurt, she was going to get her way. Sorry this was a very long story, but it's all true. I weep for these parents. I hope this girl gets what she deserves in the end for this one.
1 day, 4 hours ago on Rachel Canning, Girl Suing Her Parents for College Tuition Just Might Be a Sociopath
@horrorjunky" And what kind of man goes out with a woman like this?"
A complete idiot.
1 day, 7 hours ago on Rachel Canning, Girl Suing Her Parents for College Tuition Just Might Be a Sociopath
@markhaaseth @NicoleLittle@Poetshyne And some of us BW have never had sex with a BM anyway so we don't care about so called "magical mandingo genitalia" because we're happy with our WM nailing us to the mattress properly AND protecting and providing for us. :)
2 days, 2 hours ago on Sh!t Haters Say to Discourage Black Women From Dating Out
@NeicyRodri OMG. It's Ash Wednesday and this almost made me lose my religion. The male who has this mentality is a powerless boy and any BW who lowers herself to this POS of a male gets what she gets. You just can't make this stuff up. And then these same boys wonder why other types of men don't take them seriously. These boys are the laughing stock of the male gender.
2 days, 3 hours ago on Sh!t Haters Say to Discourage Black Women From Dating Out
@EqualOppLover Crapoganda....That's priceless. Maybe you should friend some of us on FB so we can all like your photos to the dismay of your certain family members. :)
Very nice wedding. They really look very happy together. I wish them all happiness. :)
2 days, 19 hours ago on Lovely in Lavender: Claire and Phil
As most of you know, my father is a Nigerian immigrant. My parents decided to give us traditional names because of our heritage in Yoruba society and the fact that since we were born Americans and would be raised here, they wanted for us to have a link to our ethnicity that we otherwise may not have received. My shortened name is really common, but my full name has every vowel in the alphabet (A,E, I, O, and U). Maybe our other Naija ladies here can guess, but you might be wrong too. I was teased mercilessly in school by students and yes, my name was the one that the teachers couldn't pronounce. I always knew when they got to me. I learned to spell phonetically from age 7 to make it easier on the teachers. They thought my name was beautiful, especially after I told them the meaning (God has blessed me). Some less cultured people thought my name sounded Hawaiian and one teacher thought I was Egyptian so I was classified as "white" at school in spite of my dark skin and kinky hair (I don't get that, but oh well).
When looking for a job, I found that my name and heritage were an asset because I did stand out and when they met me and I was just me, an assimilated American, I always got the job and was respected as well. I think what you name your children does matter. My younger sister gave all of her children various African and Arab names. My husband and I went with Sanskrit in honor of the faith traditions we were a part of when we got married. My youngest and only daughter will receive a name that is based on my husband's background which is Eastern European because she may choose to take the name of her husband if she gets married. The name we chose is beautiful and not very common, but interestingly enough, it's also a Sanskrit name too which fulfills the theme we started with the boys. :)
As for giving Black American names, I'm not well versed on them other than the fact that I'm not keen on them myself. I do think that when the names get too far out, you're tying a weight around your child's neck. Yes, assumptions will be made about you based on that. Just because it wasn't your personal experience doesn't mean that the norm is to take one look at a "Black" name and have a number of ideas including whether you had a father in the house, where you are socially (will you fit in?), your economic status growing up, and judgements on your value. No, it isn't right, but that's how things are right now in some circles. Name your children with care.
6 days ago on What’s In A Name?
Just to add my 2 cents. Yes, BW are mocked for being with non-BM. You know what? I.DO.NOT.CARE. You know why?
1. They don't pay any bills in my house. My husband works in his profession making GOOD money and that is how the bills are paid. He is financially savvy and it taking the LEAD on us building wealth to pass on to our children in the future and teaching them how to continue building wealth. These folks doing the mocking barely have two red cents to rub together and they don't even own the window to throw it out of.
2. I'm happy. The mockers' pitiful crap filled lives are of no concern to me. I'm happy because I put myself first and listened to the good advice of my parents in regards to love and relationships. I didn't settle for less like the men and women mocking BW. I go about my business. You want to stare at me? Fine. Keep looking and sneering because your opinion means nothing to me since I'm a happy woman with a wonderful man.
3. My husband is a REAL man. He had bought his own home by age 27 and when he was courting me, he was actually COURTING me. He was showing me that he was capable of providing, protecting, and caring for a wife and children. It came naturally to him to do this. He wanted for me to know that I need not worry and that he has my back which he does. He goes to work and he comes home. He's faithful, loving, kind, and just high quality. He's a MAN and that is why I was able to embrace a traditional woman's role. He gave me the opportunity to do it and the free license to just be the woman in the relationship.
The naysayers and people mocking BW/non-BM relationships don't know what a real man is supposed to bring to the table. Or they may just think that it's only non-BW who are supposed to get the goodies. Well guess what? BW are getting wise and leaving and will continue to leave in spite of all the mocking and ridicule. In these folks warped minds, they think that shaming and name calling will bring these BW home. It only makes certain that we are doing the right thing by caring for ourselves and putting ourselves FIRST. Those folks are just impotently screaming in the wind as far as I'm concerned. I'll even throw them a nice smile as they scowl at me just to let them know that I don't care and that I'm a very happy and well cared for woman.
1 week, 1 day ago on Why are Black Women Mocked If Their Non-Black Mates Don’t Look Like Adonis?
Oh yum. I'm afraid of souffles though. You can really mess it up if you don't know what you're doing. I'm going to have to get a couple of ramekins and give it a shot.
1 week, 1 day ago on Cheddar Bacon And Scallion Souffle
@DWB @Browncow@Swirlgirl28@bellechose I can't take credit for that. It was a saying my father made up and I was fed it from his lap since I was a little girl. It's true though.
@PamelaFoster @Chicago404Yes, and BM like that are always the first ones bad mouthing BW to their WW. My mom has a friend (WW) who is married to a BM they stayed over to my parent's house over 5 years ago. This dude proceeded to tell my father that because my mother is pretty up front that "that's why I would never have one of those" referring to BW. My father was stunned. Well my husband and I come to visit my parents for my baby shower with the family and when we arrive there I met this guy. He was seriously short btw and nothing to scream about in the looks department either. He was cool with me for about a minute until my tall and handsome husband comes in with all the bags being all sweet and attentive to me. Well all of a sudden, he needed to go to bed. I didn't see him the next morning either because they just had to "leave early". My mother didn't mention my husband and I to them first because she didn't think it was important and secondly she got a bit of a rise out of his reaction. He has no job either and is living off of her friend. So, if these women want these boys in man's bodies they're free to have them.
Thank you for sharing your story. As for your parents, it's their loss. I grew up with disapproving grandparents in Nigeria who wanted my father to marry a woman from their tribe and area and they lost out on so many things, including seeing us grow up and having actual relationships with us. So sorry that the case is the same with your family, but you stood up to them and put the family you formed with Doreen first. So it doesn't matter what your family thinks. It's a blessing that her family is just so wonderful to you and the girls. You have a beautiful family and thanks again for sharing. You're helping a WM or a BW out there somewhere. Cheers.
1 week, 1 day ago on Real Story: UK Man Bucks Past Rejection, Disapproving Family for Love
@Swirlgirl28 @bellechose Misery demands company.
@PamelaFoster @bellechoseWell you know what they say about fools and money. All that money. Not wealth because building wealth requires discipline and delayed gratification. I feel that wealth building is a generations endeavor rather than just having money to blow on stuff. It's financial security. Buying stuff and having expensive things is what I see a lot of folks doing. One of my sisters took her daughter out to get her American Doll (made in China no less) a new outfit, get her doll's hair done and also then have a luncheon in the cafe with her little girl friends for her birthday. She spend well over $500 for the day. She and her husband went away for several weekend vacations and a local cruise staying away at expensive hotels. Not cheap. They rented a moon bounce for several days for their son's birthday. Also not cheap. However, when their car breaks down they suddenly don't have the money to fix it. They have to borrow my parent's car and wait until their taxes come in or the next paycheck to get it fixed. How is that? I just wash my hands of the situation because I know that it is poor money management and a desire to have material goods and services rather than real security. I see this happening a lot with people all over, but it's worse with Black folks. How can people who say they're so broke and down trodden have 1 Trillion dollars in consumer money to spend? Please answer the question if you know, but I just don't.
1 week, 3 days ago on Oh Sh!t…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce!
@Brenda55 I get you. I guess it's not that people want her to ignore them, but rather, some are looking for a less apologetic feel to her post. She kept it classy and talked about why she chose HER man rather than making it into an explanation of why she chose a WHITE man. Big difference. She kept it focused on an individual level and I can appreciate that. I also see that some here are eager to have her come out like, "F*CK you and the stupidity you just threw in my face! How DARE you, you low class blackistani piece of SHIT! I don't need to explain anything to your simple ass!" Yeah, a part of me wanted that too, but perhaps her taking the high road is a lot better. It really puts forth her femininity. I personally think her fiance is very good looking and of course Lanisha is absolutely gorgeous. She deserves a REAL good man rather than the low expectation ones parading around using and abusing that label.
2 weeks ago on Model Lanisha Cole Fires Back On Haters of Her Non-Black Fiance
@Chicago404"And as far as her being a sell out,what exactly is she selling out of?
The 75% of all black children being born to a single mother ? Yeah,how
tragic that she left all of that behind."
I love your sarcasm. It just brings everything I'm thinking right to a head. I do agree with your points. I read a couple of the comments and I didn't want to go down that little sh!tty rabbit hole so I kept it to like 2 or 3 comments that I skimmed over. I call BS and serious jealousy on the part of the haters. They think that she's getting a good deal and can't stand it because they either settled for a crap man or situation featuring a crap man or it's a man who could not even begin to live up to the standard that Lanisha's future husband sets. That's it. I don't deal with low class people. Mind you, I didn't say people of low income, I said low CLASS. There is a difference.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Model Lanisha Cole Fires Back On Haters of Her Non-Black Fiance
I've been reading your "Love Quest" since the beginning and I certainly wish you well on your journey to self-worth AND a positive relationship. Please keep us posted! :)
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Leona’s Love Quest: The Final Chapter
@Diversitymom @Brenda55Your story is interesting because I remember when I had my younger son, it was in a DC hospital. The only married women in the maternity ward was me and the Ethiopian lady down the hall. All the rest were single mothers. It was sad because my husband was helping give the baby his first bath and taking pictures and gushing over us and bringing our older son to visit and so was the Ethiopian lady's husband, but the BW had nobody but a mother or a girl friend or grandmother to help. I was saddened by this and it was even more obvious when I went home and my husband picked me up and another woman was picked up by her mom and another woman. That and the daggers some of the people had for me when I was holding my very white baby and my husband came to get me and was so gentle with the baby and loving towards me. I'm sorry that this is a bit off topic, but your statement really brought back this memory. I just felt so precious and happy with my husband and so sad for the BW in the maternity ward.
2 weeks, 2 days ago on Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman?