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@Brenda55 I just had a praise break in my family room. I agree with ALL. OF. THIS. If there could be a public announcement on a billboard, this should be it. Thank you for saying it so I didn't have to.
1 day, 11 hours ago on Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men?
@Tempaccount You know what's funny is that some ladies in real life think that you'll make the sacrifice and will be standing there surprised when you DON'T. No sweetie, this isn't the movies. I want to live too. You either run like Flo Jo or get eaten, and since I run faster...
3 days, 17 hours ago on Despite “Scandal” and HTGAWM, We’re Still Fighting Against the “Mammy” Trope
@Brenda55 Dang!!! I'm wondering how long donations will be open because I want to put a little something in from my personal funds. I'm so happy that this has happened. Sometimes these things happen for a reason. Perhaps the galvanized haters were sent to take BBW to a new level. So sorry that their hatred only ended up revealing a wonderful blessing for BW and the men who love us. We supported and caped for our own. The men, our REAL men of character, came to defend BW. Who knew, right? This is so stupendous I just can't stop grinning. Pass the troll tears this way, because I want to take a nice deep draft.
1 week, 1 day ago on Video: Update on the BB&W Fund Raising Push!
@kennaGransberg @trinigirl1 They also tend to forget on whose lap the "EVIL" WM sat when he learned all his racism.
1 week, 2 days ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.
@zipporah @lorelei84 That's how it happened for me! I not only stay at home, but I homeschool my kids too. (As an aside, there is a really LARGE Black homeschooling community out there. I don't join because some of them are too nationalist for me.)
@Andrew Mulligan @MsEva @Christelyn I hope his ass does go extinct with mush for brains like that. His genes do NOT belong in the pool.
@MarthaLankford @Browncow @Christelyn I don't know either. I didn't even know about that website until today. I just don't even let it into my life. I know it's Chris' job though, so she has to sear that crap into her eyeballs to keep abreast of what the enemy is doing.
@Christelyn You know I went there? I had to wade through a sewer of shyt to get to the post you were referring to. Those folks are messed up. IN THE HEAD. It's like they can't see at all what they're saying about BW. It's like in their diseased minds, "if I call her a sl*t, she'll come back and take my sh*t", "If I try to shame her, she'll see the "error" of her ways, "If I denigrate her and treat her like crap, she'll know I love her". These buffoons don't even know how to address a woman with respect, what to speak of love her. Yeah, you can call me all the crazy names you want, but let's get this straight; I'm respected in my home and in my community. I have the ring and his name and so do our children. They really think acting a fool is going to shame BW back to their sorry asses. Yeah, right, you keep drinking that kool-aid. I'll stay winning over here.
@itsgoodtobeme Wow! I didn't know that. I'm about finished with Facebook. I'm seriously considering leaving for other social media.
@zipporah @The Working Home Keeper BW should have left a long time ago.
@Brenda55 I liked the page and signed the petition. We're not going to let a few fools and crabs get us down, now are we?
1 week, 6 days ago on The Death of Beyond Black & White…
@SavageTango I agree. This male (I refuse to call him a man. A real man doesn't abuse women.) knew what he was doing. He knew that he could rape BW with impunity and nobody would care. The NAACP is trying to make this a "Black Issue" instead of what it is: RAPE. We need to keep the rape element in there because if we don't, it further plays into the stereotype that BW can't be raped. They're always ready (Jezebel). This man chose his victims because he knew more or less that he would get away with it. He almost did. He just might get away still. I don't hear any BM or WW donning their capes to come to the rescue. The head of the local NAACP didn't even want for it to be constituted as rape. WTF? So, this rapist was trying to get at BM? Really? So it's all about you again, huh? NO. This is rape. Ethnically motivated rape, yes, but rape none the less. We need to keep that in the front of the issue here. WE ARE WOMEN!!! We can be raped. We can be taken advantage of sexually. I shudder to think that if this had been a BM police officer, there would have been NO response by the NAACP. NONE. Crickets.
2 weeks ago on Cop allegedly sexually assaults eight Black women – where are the women’s groups?
@dani-BBW @Law Wanxi I love your very objective point of view. You aren't frothing at the mouth for either side, which I find refreshing. I too see a change of the tide for the GOP. If they don't change some of their social views and become more "live and let live", they will continue to lose elections to the point that their party will become extinct. Remember the Whigs? Yeah, neither do I. I don't want this to be a case of one party rule at all because then it just becomes a big mess. Either way, it isn't very good. An Independent majority sounds like a good bet, though I do argue that being Independent is kind of code for small "l" libertarian without saying you're a libertarian.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Is Greg Orman the future of American politics?
@dani-BBW @PoetOfDarkness Yep. I read the demands and I think that the Tea Party voters will be sitting this one out. I'll be surprised if they come out to vote.
Thank you Howard Tyrone Smith II!!! You're making so much sense here and I really appreciate it. There is nothing more to say. Now I'm just waiting for the fools to show up (grabs popcorn).
2 weeks, 2 days ago on From a Black Man’s Mouth: About All That Hate…
After several days of watching this post, I'm finally going to chime in. Here's my opinion:
Not all WW will be threatened by BW choosing to date/marry non-BM (WM specifically). HOWEVER, a good number of them do feel threatened. Case and point, the numbers of WW and non-BW coming on this site which discusses BW and our issues to tell us how "not threatened" they are and their own tales of woe with their BM husbands/boyfriends at the hands of BW. Really? You came all the way here to BBW to tell a bunch of BW who don't care who you're with (seriously, take ALL the BM, most of us don't care because we prefer non-BM anyway) your tales of how BW have been the worst to you because of your BM boyfriend/husband. Do you even know where you are and who you're talking to? Do you think you really have a say as to how BW in their own space conduct their conversations and voice their opinions?
How about you stick around if you want to be in sisterly love with BW and discuss our issues as empathetic allies instead of telling us it's all in our heads. How about you participate in other discussions and figure out how to be the allies you say you are to BW instead of trying to make the conversation about yourself? I've been here at BBW since the beginning and I have never seen you women here talking about any of our issues. Now that we turn the conversation to you and how some of your non-BW sisters can act a fool, you turn up? Seriously? Don't be so transparent. If you think you've fallen into a den of fools who are going to stop telling your truth, you are gladly mistaken. We have and bear no ill will towards WW or other non-BW. They are our mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt-in-law, and our friends. We just will not put up with the bull. Not from other BW, BM, our parents, WM, AM, HM, and lastly, not you. Sit down and learn if you want to but do not presume to come in here and try to change the subject to you. We don't let BM do it and just because you have some ovaries doesn't mean we're going to let you do it either. Our solidarity and loyalty go to those who reciprocate. Please go to the BM/non-BW love sites and tell the folks who denigrate BW to keep our names out of their mouths and enjoy their relationship. That is all. (*Drops mic, exits stage right*)
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Video: Are Black Women Who Swirl a THREAT to White Women?
Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you!
Just wanted to note that they met on OkCupid. You know the notorious website that is supposed to be a dating desert for BW? This just proves that you don't need droves of men clamoring for your attention. You just need one quality man.
All the best to the engaged couple. Please send wedding photos! :)
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Another BB&W is Getting Hitched!
@LovelyLulu @AfroChic This reminds me of a Sudanese man who works with my husband. He said that "it seems as though Black people are brainwashed". I had to agree because being the daughter of an immigrant, I have found that unless you choose to assimilate into the Black community, there is a disconnect with the idea that we all must do you-fill-in-the-blank to be considered a "Good Black Person". We just think of ourselves as individuals that are members of a group rather than group members who must all think and act alike. There is very little room for original thought and self determination without being ostracized by the group.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming!
@N2ition ".bottom my azz!!! "
Yep. Bottom my beautiful round chocolate behind that you know you wish you had naturally!!!!
3 weeks, 3 days ago on People Magazine Shows Racial Shade During Shonda Rhimes Big Network Television Night
@thecrazyartist @Swirlgirl28 @Christelyn @Justme65 @International_Responder The reason they refuse to get a woman over 28 is because they're now immune mostly to all the bulls#!t. They won't have it or take it from an older male who should know better.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option
@Easybreezietreecie @Sybellis OMGoodness. I remember a BM approached me saying that he was looking for wife and he had found the one when he saw me. I told him sorry, but I'm not the one for him because I was already engaged and showed him the ring. He might not have known what a "real" engagement ring looked like so he proceeded to say, "That's a real ring?!?!" to which I replied, "Yes, it's real alright. I'm getting married in a few months". Dude was crushed, but I thought it was odd for him to come at me with the whole marriage thing. I guess I looked very wholesome so he knew he couldn't just come at me any type of way. He asked me out again though. I guess he had a short term or selective memory. Several of the BM in the building I worked in did the same thing. They expressed disbelief at my ring and still proceeded to try and "be friends". I wasn't having any of it.
@Joyce345 True, a woman can marry a DBR, but when you have the paper and the ring, there is no easy escape for the man. He MUST submit to his responsibilities to his children within the marriage or he will face wage garnishment or worse. Having children out of wedlock leaves the woman and the children involved very vulnerable. Why are so many OOW children and their mothers poor?
@_Toni_ "The answer is simple: These persons give themselves a pass to aspire to
nothing and take zero responsibility for their actions because it gets
to be someone else's fault."
Yep. You've got to love the soft bigotry of low expectations. You tell these fools that their own choices and the consequences resulting from said poor choices aren't their fault but someone else's and they benefit from it by not being held to any standard at all. That's why the folks at the bottom are going to stay losing until they wake up.
@ChocolateDiva "You know the sad thing is their mothers, aunts, cousins and friends
encourage them to do it. There is a lack of TEACHING Or KNOWLEDGE being
passed down from one generation to the next."
It's called the Idiocracy and we're smack dab in the middle of it.
@Lisa_Lisa @_Toni_ "A man who truly has our best interest would admit the truth and wish black women much happiness in seeking out a guy of any race who will love, adore and cherish her."
Exactly. My younger brother is one of them. I know a woman who dated all sorts of men and is in the religious organization that I used to be a part of. One of the issues I took with the people there was that when I was ready to get married, nobody knew anyone unless he was black. For them any BM would do to get me away from their precious sons (these were not White people). The white people who were involved in the group would only think of me when a BM came up. One chick tried to set me up with a man who had a 17 year old son and was 15+ years my senior. None of these men had anything tangible to offer me. I asked my friend if she would like to have him for herself. Would a man in this situation be acceptable to her? She had no answer. (She married a man who was educated, had his own business at the time, was from a two-parent household, no kids, you know normal).
Anyways the woman I mentioned in the beginning was set up with a BM who she later married. He's divorced with two kids. I've never met him, but my father has and said he's not impressed and wondered why they didn't set her up with any of the other men that were available there. My younger brother said the same thing. He said that it would have been better if the people set her up with a man based on her character and the character of the other man. He also railed against setting up blacks together just because their skin colors matched. We're very much alike in that respect. He'll be getting married in a week to a wonderful Asian woman. My father and brothers are three such gentlemen who look at character first. Too bad they're needles in a haystack.
@Patricia Kayden They aren't worried about "RWS" as it pertains to themselves, but when it is pertaining to BW, they're very worried.
1 month ago on Black Man Admits Hood Dudes Corrupt Black Women’s Wombs Through Sabotage, But Stops Short on “Swirling” Option
I have a 5 1/2 year old, an almost 4 year old and a 5 month old. We do not spank our children as a first resort. We use the star system and I made my two older children (of course) their own star chart. When they do well, they gain up to 5 stars. When they do poorly, they get time out and lose stars and with it, choices like who gets to choose the show or loss of toys and no treats. It's effective. If they're out of stars (which rarely ever happens) and we have tried everything including long time outs, then spanking is on the table. I'm talking about a wrap on the bottom. No blood drawn or welts or anything crazy. We only use it in certain situations like if they run out in the street after screaming for them to stop or something like that. We hate having to yell at them, but what can you do? There must be actions and consequences. However, beating your child like he stole something is out of the question. Drawing blood? You need counseling and your children need protection from you.
1 month ago on Why are Some Folks Defending Child Abuse as ‘Black Culture?’
This looks great! Now everybody will be wearing the same outfit.
1 month ago on Kerry Washington Collaborates With The Limited For Scandal Clothing Collection
@onmywayup @terrametoome Um the butt crack thing would raise my gaydar.
1 month, 1 week ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”
I'm late!!!! Seriously, congratulations! May you and your lady love have many years of happiness. Wedding photos please... :)
1 month, 2 weeks ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!
Could it be perhaps that both people in the couple are very determined to stay together and have a successful marriage? I honestly think that. Also the fact that when BW and WM date and marry out they are more selective. For BW they grade WM on a tougher curve than they do BM in most cases. Yes, there are the BW who think that "I'll take any man so long as he's White!", but they are few and far between and I'm talking about your average BW who is looking for love and marriage. Most have just expanded their dating pools, so they still have a lot of negative stereotypes associated with dating WM. When they finally get over their programing and decide to date out, they're still more cautious of WM. This is from observation only, since I've always had a thing for non-BM in general.
I'll be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month. We've argued and gotten on each others' nerves, but we stick with each other because we have more in common than any other person we've been with. He's my best friend and I'm his. We grow together. That's what isn't in the articles that analyze BW/WM relationships or any IR pairing for that matter. They forget that these are two people coming together with their good points and their closet full of skeletons. Being in the face of all of that and still saying, "I accept you. I love you. Until..." is a big thing. It's not rocket science. People think for this to be so very valid and optimal that the vast majority of WM and non-BM need to be attracted to BW. They don't. Even a small percentage of WM and non-BM wanting to wife you up is enough to get any BW who wants to get married, well situated.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?
This story saddens me. This is the sort of thing that would happen to my mother when she was young. Her dark skinned aunt would make her sit outside in the hot sun so she would darken up. That woman was despicable. My two older sisters (who are from another relationship) are both light skinned. My second oldest sister used to get teased for how she spoke and she had curly hair so the black girls just seethed and hated her for it. One girl even pushed her off the swing when she was little. Another tried to cut her hair with scissors. My eldest sister is crazy and she was jealous of our sister. Though she was light skinned she ended up with the kinkiest hair of all of us. She has since deluded herself into believing that she has "a fine grade of hair" (her words, not mine), but when she is confronted with childhood photos and she's sporting a twa or a tight 'fro, she gets angry. When they were very small my eldest sister stabbed my curly haired sister with a pencil because of her jealousy. My mom lit her a$$ up. They both have lived not so good lives in spite having a father (my father, who adopted them) in their lives.
This sickness is all over the "black community". Folks don't like you because you speak proper English. Why? Because don't you know Black people aren't supposed to be able to speak with a shred of intelligence. They hate you because you get good grades. Why? Because Black people aren't supposed to be smart. That's white people stuff. They hate you because you have a father in the home married to your mother. Why? Don't you know Black women are mother and father. We don't need men. Duh.... And on and on and so on and so forth. I've had my own experiences with speaking "too properly", being smart, having varied interests that didn't always include "Black stuff", and of course my interest in men. I realized that many of the Black girls who teased me when I was young were jealous of me. Seriously. They teased me when my father did my hair one day for school (he did a good job, too). The girls snickered at me because daddy did my hair. I was 10 at the time. They teased me whenever I opened my mouth to speak. They acted like they liked me, only to ridicule me publicly and cause me to cry in public. The last time I saw my tormentors they were all single mothers with multiple children they couldn't afford and I was in college. I'm married now with three beautiful children living in a peaceful, sought after neighborhood in one of the most affluent counties in the country. Where are they? I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that it's nowhere I would be caught in.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on How Blackistanis Police Their Own: Girl Gets a Beat Down for “Acting White” (And Being Too Light)
This is so great! I love that now with the magic of genetics testing, one can find out their family lineage. My mother did hers a couple of years back and had her brother do the other half for my grandfather's side of the family. We came to find out that much of the family oral history was correct. On my grandmother's side, our African ancestry came from Madagascar. It wasn't on the continent. We also have Native American ancestry as well as English. The shocker was that most of our ancestry was from Persia (Iraq, Iran, and mainly Syria). On my grandfather's side our African ancestry is from Ethiopia. So we have no West African ancestry at all on my mother's side. My father is Yoruba, but we know that there is some Arab in there as well. It's a very interesting family tree. More like a web. Basically, my family is from everywhere and I'm proud of that. Now my children have Eastern European to complete the around the world and they are literally EVERYTHING. Get to know your cultures and connect with people in the States from Kenya. You'll learn so much and many will be happy that you're interested in reconnecting to your roots. :)
1 month, 2 weeks ago on Lineage: The Extraordinary Gift of Knowing Where You Came From
@MissFLondon @tonyrog @Browncow @Chicago404 I actually believe that boot lickers are on both sides. I can conceptualize the possibility that people not only on the left, but on the right can serve as dogs waiting for a bone. The issue I have is that when folks start talking about being a boot licker or a "pet negro" it is almost always done to those Blacks who identify more with being conservative or ones who say something that conservatives can get behind. Then when they're called out on it, they try to back peddle and put a Black liberal's name out there, but you know that if they weren't called out on it in the first place and were only met with praise and agreement for disparaging a Black conservative, they wouldn't be putting out that black liberal's name. It wouldn't be necessary. I have some conservative tendencies and I also have some liberal ones. I do not fully identify with either party, but I lean more conservative. That's just me.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@BWC "End the political "contributions" and the lobbyists and, maybe, civic minded individuals might stand a chance."
This is my most sincere prayer. You'll find that both sides are pretty much the same. They're both paid for by special interests.
@MissFLondon OMG. Can I give you a hug?
@SwirlQueen @Browncow We don't keep up with her and none of our family wants anything to do with her or the kids from the DBR. I only met her a couple of times and when I did she was staying at our house for a week trying to escape the DBR. She eventually went back to him though. I'm not sure where she is now, but I don't care.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on DBRs Abound – A True Murder In The First
I'm sorry to hear about your family member. A similar story happened to my mother's first cousin and her daughter. Her husband had died a few years prior to that and they still had a 14 year old daughter. My cousin's daughter from her first marriage was married to a no good DBR. He molested the younger sister and when my cousin pressed charges, he came to her house with another DBR who tortured and killed them both in their house. It was horrible. My mother cried bitter tears because they were trying to get justice for the daughter. Both the low life and his low life accomplice are in prison for life. They may have gotten the death penalty, had the family pursued it. I guess they felt that living out the rest of their days behind bars and meeting their maker would be better justice than just killing them.
Nom nom nom nom....That looks tasty!!! I put my kids on the Feingold diet and we also avoid refined sugars, wheat, and for one of my children, dairy. Too bad we can't use the almond flour. There's a natural salicylate that we haven't tested yet for my son who has chemical sensitivities. If he's all clear for it, we'll be trying this.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Home Made Alternative to Expensive, Highly Processed Snack Bars
@Chicago404 Not all conservatives are upstanding. Neither are all liberals. I know that fact. Could you please let me know where Ms. Dash, Mr. Lemon, Mr. Freeman have displayed internalized racism? I'd like to know.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@Maxine @jesslabellefleur @Browncow That woman is an idiot. She says inflammatory things to be seen. She does not represent all conservatives any more than Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton represent all liberals. Come up with something else.
@Chicago404 AND... Here come the accusations of myself being a "pet negro". So Stacy Dash is a pet negro? Why? Because her values align more with the GOP? Don Lemon (who happens to be gay now) is a pet negro. Why? Because he called Black people out on their shit? Look chick, I know that there are black people out there who hate their own and would sell them down the river for anything. I believe we call that place Blackistan. What makes you think that these people do what they do or say what they say for white approval? How about they're tired of the excuses for failure. They're sick of the underclass of Black people being the main face and representative of Black culture. How about they're tired of being called a pet negro because they happen to be able to speak without a "blackcent" and don't identify with the underclass culture that has so infected and rotted out any positive black culture there is and made it miniscule in comparison to the fuckery that is put out there. How about that? Or can you not wrap your head around a Black person who thinks for themselves and not be beholden to "the collective"?
Always, and I don't do R and D politics. I actually research my candidates rather than listen to the radio or the television to tell me who the "handlers" want for you to vote for. I believe Minister Grayson calls it the "circle of loot".
@QueenAnne @SavageTango You're a smart woman, then.
@tonyrog If Obama were white he would have been impeached already for abusing the executive order. He wouldn't have been re-elected because he said that if he couldn't fix the economy in 4 years, then this should probably be a one term presidency. He also wouldn't be re-elected off the back of "if you like your doctor and insurance, you can keep it. Period." He would have been taken to task on our porous border. The IRS scandal would have sunk his administration. That is if he were a white president.
@jesslabellefleur Alright. Pet negro? Seriously? Here we go with the insults to Black conservatives. Conservatives are either frothing at the mouth racists, or their not. When people say that there aren't many non-white conservatives and then some Black, Latino, and Asian ones speak up, you call them "token", "pet negro", "Uncle Tom", "Aunt Tomasina", "whitewashed", "race traitor",and it goes on and on and on. You can't have it both ways. Either the GOP/conservatives/Tea Party/Libertarians are welcoming or they aren't. You can't discount the ones that come forward as being conservatives because you don't like their politics. They count. Their opinions count. This is a great example of the accepted racism and character assassination of Blacks that don't conform. It really reminds me of the GAT-DL when it comes to BW expanding their dating/mating options. When a BW decides to date or marry IR, here come the personal attacks; "bedwench", "whore", "slave girl", "race traitor", and it goes on and on and on. When are we going to stop having a litmus test on Blackness based on a very limiting point of view? Pet negro? Do you even hear yourself when you say things like that? So Black people aren't allowed to have differing political and cultural views than the "collective"? Expanding options isn't just for dating.
I love the fall. I love all the seasons actually. Each has its own special feature. I love the changing of the colors and how the air gets crisp. Taking the boys out to get leaves to press and going on hay rides. My younger son's birthday is in October so it will be time for a costume party again, but this time it will be with his new friends from preschool. My oldest will be starting kindergarten next week. It's a bitter sweet thing because this wasn't the plan. He's had some developmental delays and food sensitivities that have made it hard for him. We had to transfer him from a preschool co-op to one with the county for an IEP program. He's brilliant, though. Our intention was to homeschool from kindergarten, but we'll see what the year will bring. I still work on things with him and thank God he's swift because he can read now. I don't like the idea of sending him off for an entire day. I feel like I'll be missing the most important hours of his day. So this fall, I'm feeling a bit saddened by the fact that things just didn't go to plan. My newborn is now rolling all over the place and will be crawling I figure in another month or so. It's totally surreal. I feel like I just pushed her out and now she's so mobile. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. I love the fall, but this one has so much change in it that I'm trying to keep up.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
@International_Responder @Browncow Better yet, you may need to get a kindle so they don't even know what you're reading. It's acceptable to attack Black people who aren't towing the party line.
@Gijou @Browncow @Fiji808 I would like for you to answer my question first.