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I have a 5 1/2 year old, an almost 4 year old and a 5 month old. We do not spank our children as a first resort. We use the star system and I made my two older children (of course) their own star chart. When they do well, they gain up to 5 stars. When they do poorly, they get time out and lose stars and with it, choices like who gets to choose the show or loss of toys and no treats. It's effective. If they're out of stars (which rarely ever happens) and we have tried everything including long time outs, then spanking is on the table. I'm talking about a wrap on the bottom. No blood drawn or welts or anything crazy. We only use it in certain situations like if they run out in the street after screaming for them to stop or something like that. We hate having to yell at them, but what can you do? There must be actions and consequences. However, beating your child like he stole something is out of the question. Drawing blood? You need counseling and your children need protection from you.
2 days, 1 hour ago on Why are Some Folks Defending Child Abuse as ‘Black Culture?’
This looks great! Now everybody will be wearing the same outfit.
2 days, 12 hours ago on Kerry Washington Collaborates With The Limited For Scandal Clothing Collection
@onmywayup @terrametoome Um the butt crack thing would raise my gaydar.
1 week, 1 day ago on QOTW: “Am I Wrong to EXPLICITLY Exclude Black Men from My Dating Pool?”
I'm late!!!! Seriously, congratulations! May you and your lady love have many years of happiness. Wedding photos please... :)
1 week, 4 days ago on BB&W’s Very Own ‘EarthJeff’ is Getting Hitched!!
Could it be perhaps that both people in the couple are very determined to stay together and have a successful marriage? I honestly think that. Also the fact that when BW and WM date and marry out they are more selective. For BW they grade WM on a tougher curve than they do BM in most cases. Yes, there are the BW who think that "I'll take any man so long as he's White!", but they are few and far between and I'm talking about your average BW who is looking for love and marriage. Most have just expanded their dating pools, so they still have a lot of negative stereotypes associated with dating WM. When they finally get over their programing and decide to date out, they're still more cautious of WM. This is from observation only, since I've always had a thing for non-BM in general.
I'll be celebrating my 9 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month. We've argued and gotten on each others' nerves, but we stick with each other because we have more in common than any other person we've been with. He's my best friend and I'm his. We grow together. That's what isn't in the articles that analyze BW/WM relationships or any IR pairing for that matter. They forget that these are two people coming together with their good points and their closet full of skeletons. Being in the face of all of that and still saying, "I accept you. I love you. Until..." is a big thing. It's not rocket science. People think for this to be so very valid and optimal that the vast majority of WM and non-BM need to be attracted to BW. They don't. Even a small percentage of WM and non-BM wanting to wife you up is enough to get any BW who wants to get married, well situated.
1 week, 4 days ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?
This story saddens me. This is the sort of thing that would happen to my mother when she was young. Her dark skinned aunt would make her sit outside in the hot sun so she would darken up. That woman was despicable. My two older sisters (who are from another relationship) are both light skinned. My second oldest sister used to get teased for how she spoke and she had curly hair so the black girls just seethed and hated her for it. One girl even pushed her off the swing when she was little. Another tried to cut her hair with scissors. My eldest sister is crazy and she was jealous of our sister. Though she was light skinned she ended up with the kinkiest hair of all of us. She has since deluded herself into believing that she has "a fine grade of hair" (her words, not mine), but when she is confronted with childhood photos and she's sporting a twa or a tight 'fro, she gets angry. When they were very small my eldest sister stabbed my curly haired sister with a pencil because of her jealousy. My mom lit her a$$ up. They both have lived not so good lives in spite having a father (my father, who adopted them) in their lives.
This sickness is all over the "black community". Folks don't like you because you speak proper English. Why? Because don't you know Black people aren't supposed to be able to speak with a shred of intelligence. They hate you because you get good grades. Why? Because Black people aren't supposed to be smart. That's white people stuff. They hate you because you have a father in the home married to your mother. Why? Don't you know Black women are mother and father. We don't need men. Duh.... And on and on and so on and so forth. I've had my own experiences with speaking "too properly", being smart, having varied interests that didn't always include "Black stuff", and of course my interest in men. I realized that many of the Black girls who teased me when I was young were jealous of me. Seriously. They teased me when my father did my hair one day for school (he did a good job, too). The girls snickered at me because daddy did my hair. I was 10 at the time. They teased me whenever I opened my mouth to speak. They acted like they liked me, only to ridicule me publicly and cause me to cry in public. The last time I saw my tormentors they were all single mothers with multiple children they couldn't afford and I was in college. I'm married now with three beautiful children living in a peaceful, sought after neighborhood in one of the most affluent counties in the country. Where are they? I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that it's nowhere I would be caught in.
1 week, 5 days ago on How Blackistanis Police Their Own: Girl Gets a Beat Down for “Acting White” (And Being Too Light)
This is so great! I love that now with the magic of genetics testing, one can find out their family lineage. My mother did hers a couple of years back and had her brother do the other half for my grandfather's side of the family. We came to find out that much of the family oral history was correct. On my grandmother's side, our African ancestry came from Madagascar. It wasn't on the continent. We also have Native American ancestry as well as English. The shocker was that most of our ancestry was from Persia (Iraq, Iran, and mainly Syria). On my grandfather's side our African ancestry is from Ethiopia. So we have no West African ancestry at all on my mother's side. My father is Yoruba, but we know that there is some Arab in there as well. It's a very interesting family tree. More like a web. Basically, my family is from everywhere and I'm proud of that. Now my children have Eastern European to complete the around the world and they are literally EVERYTHING. Get to know your cultures and connect with people in the States from Kenya. You'll learn so much and many will be happy that you're interested in reconnecting to your roots. :)
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Lineage: The Extraordinary Gift of Knowing Where You Came From
@MissFLondon @tonyrog @Browncow @Chicago404 I actually believe that boot lickers are on both sides. I can conceptualize the possibility that people not only on the left, but on the right can serve as dogs waiting for a bone. The issue I have is that when folks start talking about being a boot licker or a "pet negro" it is almost always done to those Blacks who identify more with being conservative or ones who say something that conservatives can get behind. Then when they're called out on it, they try to back peddle and put a Black liberal's name out there, but you know that if they weren't called out on it in the first place and were only met with praise and agreement for disparaging a Black conservative, they wouldn't be putting out that black liberal's name. It wouldn't be necessary. I have some conservative tendencies and I also have some liberal ones. I do not fully identify with either party, but I lean more conservative. That's just me.
2 weeks, 2 days ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@BWC "End the political "contributions" and the lobbyists and, maybe, civic minded individuals might stand a chance."
This is my most sincere prayer. You'll find that both sides are pretty much the same. They're both paid for by special interests.
@MissFLondon OMG. Can I give you a hug?
@SwirlQueen @Browncow We don't keep up with her and none of our family wants anything to do with her or the kids from the DBR. I only met her a couple of times and when I did she was staying at our house for a week trying to escape the DBR. She eventually went back to him though. I'm not sure where she is now, but I don't care.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on DBRs Abound – A True Murder In The First
I'm sorry to hear about your family member. A similar story happened to my mother's first cousin and her daughter. Her husband had died a few years prior to that and they still had a 14 year old daughter. My cousin's daughter from her first marriage was married to a no good DBR. He molested the younger sister and when my cousin pressed charges, he came to her house with another DBR who tortured and killed them both in their house. It was horrible. My mother cried bitter tears because they were trying to get justice for the daughter. Both the low life and his low life accomplice are in prison for life. They may have gotten the death penalty, had the family pursued it. I guess they felt that living out the rest of their days behind bars and meeting their maker would be better justice than just killing them.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on DBRs Abound – A True Murder In The First
Nom nom nom nom....That looks tasty!!! I put my kids on the Feingold diet and we also avoid refined sugars, wheat, and for one of my children, dairy. Too bad we can't use the almond flour. There's a natural salicylate that we haven't tested yet for my son who has chemical sensitivities. If he's all clear for it, we'll be trying this.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Home Made Alternative to Expensive, Highly Processed Snack Bars
@Chicago404 Not all conservatives are upstanding. Neither are all liberals. I know that fact. Could you please let me know where Ms. Dash, Mr. Lemon, Mr. Freeman have displayed internalized racism? I'd like to know.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@Maxine @jesslabellefleur @Browncow That woman is an idiot. She says inflammatory things to be seen. She does not represent all conservatives any more than Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton represent all liberals. Come up with something else.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@Chicago404 AND... Here come the accusations of myself being a "pet negro". So Stacy Dash is a pet negro? Why? Because her values align more with the GOP? Don Lemon (who happens to be gay now) is a pet negro. Why? Because he called Black people out on their shit? Look chick, I know that there are black people out there who hate their own and would sell them down the river for anything. I believe we call that place Blackistan. What makes you think that these people do what they do or say what they say for white approval? How about they're tired of the excuses for failure. They're sick of the underclass of Black people being the main face and representative of Black culture. How about they're tired of being called a pet negro because they happen to be able to speak without a "blackcent" and don't identify with the underclass culture that has so infected and rotted out any positive black culture there is and made it miniscule in comparison to the fuckery that is put out there. How about that? Or can you not wrap your head around a Black person who thinks for themselves and not be beholden to "the collective"?
Always, and I don't do R and D politics. I actually research my candidates rather than listen to the radio or the television to tell me who the "handlers" want for you to vote for. I believe Minister Grayson calls it the "circle of loot".
3 weeks ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@QueenAnne @SavageTango You're a smart woman, then.
@tonyrog If Obama were white he would have been impeached already for abusing the executive order. He wouldn't have been re-elected because he said that if he couldn't fix the economy in 4 years, then this should probably be a one term presidency. He also wouldn't be re-elected off the back of "if you like your doctor and insurance, you can keep it. Period." He would have been taken to task on our porous border. The IRS scandal would have sunk his administration. That is if he were a white president.
@jesslabellefleur Alright. Pet negro? Seriously? Here we go with the insults to Black conservatives. Conservatives are either frothing at the mouth racists, or their not. When people say that there aren't many non-white conservatives and then some Black, Latino, and Asian ones speak up, you call them "token", "pet negro", "Uncle Tom", "Aunt Tomasina", "whitewashed", "race traitor",and it goes on and on and on. You can't have it both ways. Either the GOP/conservatives/Tea Party/Libertarians are welcoming or they aren't. You can't discount the ones that come forward as being conservatives because you don't like their politics. They count. Their opinions count. This is a great example of the accepted racism and character assassination of Blacks that don't conform. It really reminds me of the GAT-DL when it comes to BW expanding their dating/mating options. When a BW decides to date or marry IR, here come the personal attacks; "bedwench", "whore", "slave girl", "race traitor", and it goes on and on and on. When are we going to stop having a litmus test on Blackness based on a very limiting point of view? Pet negro? Do you even hear yourself when you say things like that? So Black people aren't allowed to have differing political and cultural views than the "collective"? Expanding options isn't just for dating.
I love the fall. I love all the seasons actually. Each has its own special feature. I love the changing of the colors and how the air gets crisp. Taking the boys out to get leaves to press and going on hay rides. My younger son's birthday is in October so it will be time for a costume party again, but this time it will be with his new friends from preschool. My oldest will be starting kindergarten next week. It's a bitter sweet thing because this wasn't the plan. He's had some developmental delays and food sensitivities that have made it hard for him. We had to transfer him from a preschool co-op to one with the county for an IEP program. He's brilliant, though. Our intention was to homeschool from kindergarten, but we'll see what the year will bring. I still work on things with him and thank God he's swift because he can read now. I don't like the idea of sending him off for an entire day. I feel like I'll be missing the most important hours of his day. So this fall, I'm feeling a bit saddened by the fact that things just didn't go to plan. My newborn is now rolling all over the place and will be crawling I figure in another month or so. It's totally surreal. I feel like I just pushed her out and now she's so mobile. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. I love the fall, but this one has so much change in it that I'm trying to keep up.
3 weeks ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
@International_Responder @Browncow Better yet, you may need to get a kindle so they don't even know what you're reading. It's acceptable to attack Black people who aren't towing the party line.
3 weeks, 1 day ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@Gijou @Browncow @Fiji808 I would like for you to answer my question first.
@Gijou @Fiji808 And how are they exposing themselves, pray tell? I saw a story about a man who was questioning a BM for having a thought outside what he "thinks" this BM should have which included insulting the man's dedication to the uplift of Black people and his very ethnicity. Yeah, like many shows the laid into him a bit with personal jabs, but what opinion show doesn't do those things? The people at FOX are coming to the defense of one who's ideological and political stances align with their own. The only thing in my opinion that exposes them as, is supportive of their own narrative and belief system.
@Gijou @Browncow @caligirl94117 I know you aren't for the GOP (I never said that I was either), but I can assure you, they are not against the Voting Rights Act. I used the term "opposition party" because the original poster used it and and I decided to respond to her in the language she was using. I believe that both sides are the "opposition party" considering that they are opposing each other.
As far as "squatters" are concerned I believe that there needs to be a system in place to weed out those who make living off of the people's tax dollars. We need to reinstate the welfare to work programs that have been so successful in the past.
@caligirl94117 @Browncow You know the thing about Minister Grayson is that he said in his campaign to listen to what the candidates tell you. His was a grass roots campaign that wasn't funded by companies. It was all by word of mouth and actually listening to the debates. I don't even live in GA, but if I did, he would have had my vote and I would have gone door to door for him. Another thing is that this man wasn't supported by the establishment GOP. The newspapers barely mentioned him as a candidate. He told the truth about things and his opponents didn't like it. As far as him fixing corruption, as he says, you have to shine a light on it. He changed the room. The room didn't change him. Special interests had no piece of him because he didn't want to owe anybody but the people who he wished to represent. Mind that I said represent, because that is different from wanting to lead.
@zipporah @Browncow @caligirl94117 Yes, this is the very same TMOT, "back again for another drive time". He inspires me. I'm also surprised that he hasn't gotten pulled over yelling into the camera speaking TRUTH.
@caligirl94117 @Browncow Yeah, the 47% takers comment wasn't exactly PC. I don't consider people who have paid into their social security and medicare to be takers, nor do I consider folks who genuinely need financial help as takers, so long as they are working to improve their situation or become self sufficient. The message gets muddled in the packaging. Since the package isn't to many folks' liking, they won't take the good part of it or what is really trying to be conveyed. I think that I've articulated it pretty well myself even if the politician didn't ( btw I didn't vote for Romney anyway for several reasons). In my opinion, we need to look past the letter next to the name and look at the overall message. In Georgia there is a man named Derick Grayson. He campaigned as a Republican for the U.S. Senate. He message was clear. He wanted to expose the corruption in Washington on both sides of the aisle. He was going to name names. He was going to represent the people of his state, not "lead" them. His motto: "100% of the Constitution. 100% of the time". He is still giving talks and is invited to functions all over the state. The functions are almost all Tea Party functions. He's a Black Man. He was a Pastor who was taken out of his church for telling the parishioners to pay their damn bills and forget about the tithes. He's a real stand up guy and he tells the truth. If you listen to him, you're infected with the desire for liberty. Would you turn down voting for such a man because he has an "R" next to his name? Or will you find out more about the person and their message that the media (on both sides) isn't telling you?
@caligirl94117 I beg to differ. The "opposition party" does not seek to eliminate programs to help the disadvantaged. It seeks to shake off the squatters who have made it a multi-generational culture to be on these programs. My own mother was on public assistance before she met my father as a divorced mother of three. The program she was on was intended to give her the training to get a job and get off, which she did. The "opposition party" wants for folks to have upward mobility. It helps the economy and our culture. I think many people just buy into the idea that the "opposition party" is evil and wants to yank the rug from under the disadvantaged populations of our country. Guess who is in support of school choice so that tax dollars only go to those schools that are performing? I bet you'd be wrong. Just look at what happened in N.Y.C. with Success Academy vs. Mayor DeBlasio and the Teacher's Unions. They tried to shut DOWN the only schools that were doing well. In Louisiana the school system has changed in New Orleans so that there are NO traditional public schools. Do you know why? Because they sucked! The tax dollars are going to the charter schools and private schools and if those schools start to suck, then they will lose students and their JOBS. So the "opposition party" may not be for subsidies for life, but they sure are for upward mobility which requires what you have displayed; hard work, perseverance, tenacity, intelligence, and dedication. You got out of your circumstances because you worked hard. That is the message of the "opposition party".
@Christelyn @Browncow @Fiji808 @Brice Cameron I understood what you said the first time. :)
@YnaFloren Thank you!!! I love Alfonzo Rachel! He just tells it like it is. Straight, with no chaser. I may not agree 100% all the time, but I do respect him and what he has to say. Let's just see how many people actually watch this.
@Christelyn @Brenda55 @DanielEwens Yeah, this dude is an idiot who picked a random photo of a white guy to pass as one because he thought that he wouldn't be found out as the idiot troll that he is. Nice try. NEXT!!!
@Christelyn @Fiji808 @Brice Cameron "We should give people like this passes because they "appear" to be on our side."
It's what I call the "Liberal hypocrisy pass". So long as the offending party is a liberal, they get a pass on saying offensive and otherwise "racist" things. It's thought that since they are liberal they can't possibly be racist even when they are. They can tell Black people that they're dumber than a box of rocks in so many words, disguise it as concern for their well being and people will just eat it up. "Just look how much these people care for us!" Please. Then have a non-liberal say something truthful and have a desire to get to the root of the problem and all h3ll will break loose.
@lilyotvalley @The Working Home Keeper May I ask what their own "best interests" are?
@The Working Home Keeper Exactly. That is the only "acceptable" form of racism. When it's against Black conservatives and libertarians. We're not supposed to be smart enough to make our own choices and have our own opinions. We're only supposed to give in to the group think.
I just got the sample on my kindle and will more than likely buy his book. As for Mr. Brand, he's just being a typical liberal. It isn't racist to attack Black conservatives by calling them names and questioning their blackness simply because they refuse to be a part of the borg collective. All the racism talk isn't for those who are being attacked for trying to question what is supposed to be the status quo of many black families and individuals failing. I don't even listen to that crap anymore. The only time I do is to reinforce why I don't vote for liberals.
Yum!!! My husband and I make green shakes every day to get our dose of fruits and veggies. It's really good and we like it on the less sweet side. Unfortunately my eggplant and tomatoes didn't do too well this season. So I'll have to go and buy the ingredients.
1 month ago on Gluten-Free Italian: Three Veggies Eaten at Once, Deliciously…
@jesslabellefleur @Browncow @Vivaforever Well, being an interfaith couple is different. There is a lot of respect that has to be given to the other. We both believe in God, it's just our concepts and understanding of the Almighty is different. When I was going to temple and we met, there was a lot of overlap beliefs-wise. Surprisingly, as a Christian, we still have a lot of overlap. He comes to church with me twice a month, and we'll be dedicating our children in the church this fall.
1 month, 1 week ago on As Millennials Support Dating Out, the Black Community ups the “Fetish” Rhetoric
@Vivaforever @Browncow Of course there's some Naija in my mix! My father is from Lagos and our family is from Abeokuta. The clothing is Indian though. Before getting baptised last year, I spent many years in an Indian temple. My husband is Buddhist. We had a fire sacrifice and a Zen Buddhist ceremony. It was a very fun day. We had people representing on just about every continent!
@Swirlgirl28 That is hilarious!!! That's the new thing, huh? Saying that BW just treat WM better. How about we're LOVED? How about feeling cherished and respected? How about feeling beautiful and being told that we're beautiful just they way God made us? No, it's really about about BM and us trying to get back at them by treating WM better. Yeah, right. (rolls eyes)
I'm going to share something VERY personal to me. It's my wedding photo. I sent this to Evia about eight years ago (I really can't remember, but it was soon after my wedding). She still has it on her website. This was almost nine years ago, as our anniversary is coming up next month.
Please tell me where I'm a fetish in this photo. Please tell me where my shackles are. Please tell me how I'm locked up in a room chained to a bed as the wench these idiots say BW are when they decide to venture out. I have the ring. I have his name. I am the woman my husband chose to bear his seed, which he honored by not spreading it all over creation. I am the woman who holds his aspirations. I am his and he is mine. This is a grown folks relationship. No games. That's why we're still married after nearly 9 years. That's why we'll stay married. MARRIED. Not shacking up. Not playing house. Not being engaged for years on end with a "shut up" ring. MARRIED. Period.
@The Working Home Keeper @harem Thank you!!! This isn't just some fad. If God forbid something happen to my husband or my marriage, you better believe I'll be meeting and marrying another WM. I have two BW acquaintances who got married to WM, divorced and went on to marry another WM. It was their preference. The men they're married to now treat them better than gold and they're happy. Why would I hold out for a man I have no preference for in order to make others comfortable?
AW!!!! That was soooo sweet! Just fabulous. May God bless you in your marriage with much happiness, love, and long years. Congratulations. :)
1 month, 1 week ago on Video: BB&W Fan Get Married, Serenades Groom; Bring Him to Tears
@tonyrog @dani-BBW Meep meep!!
1 month, 1 week ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?
@DWB I have another prediction for you:
If the next Democrat candidate is a woman, anything people say about her regarding her policy and politics will be believed to be sexist and that men who object to her policy will be sexists. You know "war on women" and all that...
1 month, 1 week ago on Feelings About Renisha McBride…
@nyaw I just wanted to say "pulling out" is a sure fire way to get pregnant. Even a drop of sperm can get a woman pregnant and there are sperm in the lubrication fluids that men secrete when they are aroused. A really good way to not get pregnant is 1. Abstinence (but realistically this is a very difficult thing to do, though I did it) 2. Hormonal birth control or an IUD (intrauterine device) 3. Condoms and 4. Sympto-Thermal method also known as Natural Family Planning or Fertility Awareness (you can get Taking Charge of Your Fertility on Amazon).
I used Fertility Awareness to get pregnant every time and to avoid pregnancy between children. It really works and I only recommend this within a very long term (preferably marriage) relationship.
1 month, 2 weeks ago on New Documentary Decrying 72% Out-of-Wedlock Rate…Love the Content But…
@Christelyn He's adorable!!!! Exactly my type. Too bad I'm married. :)
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Writer Reads “Swirling,” and Is Overwhelmed with Tears. Find Out Why.
@Audenitag How about, "How would I know? I've never been with a BM."
1 month, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb Questions!”
@The Working Home Keeper @Browncow @jdependance What day in September? My anniversary is on the 30th.
1 month, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First