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YES! This happened to me. I had one tell me he was offended. Giggles. He got blocked.
About 98% of men who inbox me are white, then Latin, then Asian. I make it known that I am interested interracially per my profile.
8 months, 1 week ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?
@Kels @darkandlovely @jillodelight @Christelyn @Yorkshireman in Michigan I'm sorry you went through that.
@Lady Cheetah @zimekcyn @Savannah18121 Lady Cheetah EXACTLY! I was thinking this man has LOWWWWWWWWWW self-esteem.
@sparel @LorMarie @sparel...you gave me a six pack because your comment had me laughing so hard.
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER
@Savannah18121 I was thinking the SAME thing.
I live in California and I will NOT be auditioning for any roles and I will NOT pay to see the movie. It stops here!!!!!!
@LorMarie "I will NOT be supporting this film with my dollars."
I agree with you. This goes without saying for me.
@JustMe_J @Kaiju_Bleu Oh yes. I would like to hear too please. Thank you :-)
@Swirlgirl28 Absolutely LOVED your commentary!
8 months, 2 weeks ago on “Im a Negro Bed Wench,” and Other Things I Learned Since Marrying My Husband
Ladies, wanted to share the link below by Songbirddiva4life. She is a fashionista. Much into style, makeup, etc... I am inspired by her looks. Take a look.
1 year, 10 months ago on Hot Out of the Oven, Another Off Topic Thread
Ladies, Have you heard of this alternative to regular lipstick?
This is one of my favorite posts from you. Thank you. Congrats to the happy couple.
2 years, 2 months ago on George Lucas Got a Fiancé for Christmas!
I am really happy for you. I remember one time I made a comment about me meeting Mr. Right one day and your response to me was very positive. I wish you and your husband many blessings. Thank you for sharing this awesome news with us. Bless you.
2 years, 2 months ago on Congrats are in order! Our very own Eugenia is expecting her own little bun!
@Brenda55 "Does it lay with the subjects of the show for existing and being willing to open their life up for public scrutiny?"
I'm looking at ALL of the parents involved. Yes, I think the network sees a gold mine as to capitalize off of them, but I don't hold them responsible for the decisons and actions of all parents involved. From watching the clip I get more of an "exhibit" and "glorification" feel verses "we are trying to correct this" verses anything else. So I will say the issue lays with the subjects of the show.
Two more things....
I hope the children (A.K.A next generation) won't repeat this.
I don't want the younger generation to become desensitized and begin to normalize, glorify and duplicate this lifestyle.
2 years, 3 months ago on "All My Baby Mamas"...Well, What Do You Expect When You Try to Normalize Dysfunction??
@uninterracial "I couldn't even finish the video because the ignorance was overwhelming."
I felt the SAME way. On another blog they were comparing it to SisterWives. So what! Sisterwives don't make this right either.
Someone please explain to me how this became normalized. I mean, I know how, but dang.
Happy holidays everyone. Thank you Christelyn and everyone for your contributions. I've learned a lot this year.
2 years, 3 months ago on A Very Special Christmas to My BB&W Family!
@Jamila ""Does this support and uplift black women? Does this person support and uplift black women? If not, why should it be posted?"
Power questions at its finest. Nice!
2 years, 3 months ago on Why Are These Bitter Chicks Hating On Michael Ealy Because He Married a Non-Black Woman? Oh. I Know.
I just left a message on the General Manager's answering machine. I did let him know that I lived outside of Louisiana so he can know or be reminded that this story has national attention. Keeping my fingers crossed. Personally, I don't know Ms. Lee, but I feel like I HAD TO speak on her behalf. This is deep on so many levels. It really hit home.
2 years, 3 months ago on Meteorologist fired after responding to viewer who didn't like her natural hair
@reem11 " I do feel she will get her job back. Many times it takes something like this to happen to bring about change."
Reem 11, I agree I feel as though she may get her job back too. The question is does she want to go back to THAT station lol? Hopefully, a bigger station or a promotion can come out of this if she wants it. I believe that whats meant for bad can be flipped into good by God.
@Christelyn @Suburban Soulgirl I agree with you Christelyn about Bakersfield. I will say that I lived in Irvine (Orange County) for two years and just moved to the Los Angeles area due to LA having "more singles." Irvine...no I would say much of Orange County is family oriented. I've learned thats where I'm to go AFTER I get married. To GET married I should stay in LA County. Hope this helps.
2 years, 3 months ago on New Study Reveals Black Women Viewed as "Masculine;" Asian Men Sterotyped "Feminine." How This Affects Swirling.
@Brenda55 Thank you Brenda55!
I think I would feel better about it if it were on Centric or TvOne. BET has already done enough for my mind. I can't even.. no."
I feel the same way. You took the words right out of my mouth. Thats like mixing apples with oranges.
2 years, 4 months ago on Finally, A Reason to Tune in to BET...Black Girls Rock 2012!
2 years, 5 months ago on Thanks to Social Networking, Lil Reese and Def Jam Records are on Notice.
"I definitely feel what you're saying, but at least we aren't truly STUCK with them haha..that'd be a nightmare if we didn't have the freedom of choice..."
Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Freedom of choice is where its happening.
2 years, 5 months ago on Brenda's Rebuttal to Bloggers Who Take Jabs at Black Women Who Prefer Interracial Dating
@PamelaFoster "Why in the world is this"Demetria" so concerned with one black woman's preference when you have literally hundreds of rappers, entertainers, athletes, politicians, and actors that you could ask this very question? "
Its done to keep Michelle and other BW in place. Its like she is "telling" on them so mama and daddy, (BM and BW who don't like BW dating interracially can "get them".
2 years, 5 months ago on Bloggers Continue to Take Jabs at Black Women Who Prefer Interracial Dating
@Joyce345 Joyce thank you for the refresher. This part of Halima's post got me
"White supremacy says, “When you come outside your house, you will know that I reign supreme,” While racio-misogyny opens the door and says “Come in and put yourself above the women in here”.
This is a sickeness that requires several couches and clipboards.
Don't know how this will be taken, but perhaps (if you have the skill) marketing yourself as a hairdresser specializing in mixed or biracial children hair types, can bring in income too."
I just reread my post and would like to clarify the above paragraph. I see a lot of biracial kids with unkept hair and that may be due to thier mothers (usually nonBW) not knowing how to do their hair. This may be a possiblity for you, especially if you can make house visits. Just wanted to clarify. Thx.
2 years, 5 months ago on When Racial Unity Becomes Dangerous: Pillars of Salt Extreme Edition
@JuneBug277 @tch "I can't due to financial and other reasons but once I fix myself up better I will be heading to a far better place to live."
JuneBug 227, we may not know when your finances will be "fixed". With this said perhaps there is a way to FLEE. Often on cragislist I see a husband and wife renting out their spare bedroom (in very well to do neighborhoods) to two female roommates, usually college students. EAch girl will have a separate bed (twin beds I think), but they share the same room. The price is usually $250-$300 here in Southern California. Renting out guest homes and living room COUCHES are popular in the Los Angeles area. Don't know where you live honey, but I hope you FLEE.
I've seen posts that say "rent for free in exchange to assist elderly or disabled person with house work" What zip code do you think this targets?
For extra cash perhaps you can participate in paid focus groups.
What gifts and talents do you have? For starters, I've seen people make earrings and they sell like crazy. Perhaps doing this and marketing them OUTSIDE of the hood may work for you. Craigs list can be a good source as I have had some good experiences. Perhaps teaching a class in something you are good and and marketing it around college campuses OUTSIDE of the hood is an idea.
Don't know how this will be taken, but perhaps (if you have the skill) marketing yourself as a hairdresser specializing in mixed or biracial children hair types, can bring in income too.
Starting a cleaning business in areas OUTSIDE the hood is a traditional option as well.
Oh, one more thing, I don't know how old you are but did you know you can get hired as a professional travel companion or travel chaperon? PTCs are people who assist disabled people, senior citizens, medical patients, etc... as they fly around the world. They will pay for your flight and expenses through the company you join with. Your job is to assist them (wheelchair, or whatever) during their visit.Take a look.
I hope this helps in someway honey. I hate for you to be in that living situation. Much love.
@Toni_M @Patricia Kayden "Marriage does not a good man make."
Thank you! I was going to address this, but you did well as usual lol.
2 years, 5 months ago on Why Can't Some Black Women Put Their Interests Above Black Men?
@TheZitaZitomihr @Zaire "but to this day, that is one of my reasons why I do not like to be around black men/or boys."
Me too. When I am at the stop light waiting for it to turn green, I stand away from young BM so no one will target the wrong person in a drive-by.
I feel this way because its a REALITY.
I'm sorry about your incident.
@Zaire @zipporah "I'll forgive you, but I will not have anything to do with you." Honey, I am sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this. I can imagine where that loser is in life right now.
"I don't even answer to "sister" anymore."
You got that right. Sister means OBLIGATION!
@FriendsofJay @nyaw "the BC approves of this double standard AND it keeps a good many BW from crossing the color line. The name calling works its poison into a BW's mind."
This is so true. Thats why I was so grateful when I came across BWE blogs a couple of years ago. They were able to put into words how I felt. I've learned so much from this community. I have become a student.
2 years, 6 months ago on Friday Funny: "Swirling Hypocrisy"
@NavyOne @MixedUpInVegas " I am just tired of the Black Males being everyones wiping boy. Who stand up for them?"
Oh please? Black girls grow up in these same environments, go through the same things. Who is standing up for her?
Have you not heard of "Don't call the police on him because we don't want to see another black male go to jail?" This usually occurs after the black woman has been assaulted.
"BLACK MALE IS NOT THE PRODUCT OF YOUR FAILURE, HE IS THE PRODUCT OF YOUR SUCCESS. "
Again, black women have grown up in the same environment as these black men. BW didn't stop at racism. Nope...we had to face sexism and guess what?.....COLORISM.
I could go on, but I will stop here.
2 years, 6 months ago on Full-on Blackistanis: Look What Happens to Black Men Who Stand Up for Black Women
@Mayanew "Now when C. Dolores Tucker complains about the use of bitch and hoe in rap, it is totally ignored for years. However, when he is accused of disrespecting a white women, he gets on it right away."
No matter how famous a DBR gets....he KNOWS the rules. In other words, he knows who he isn't going to mess with and get away with it. Notice Kim's FATHER stepped in. I wonder if it was an all black situation and had a black girl's father stepped in, would the outcome have been the same. Just a thought.
@Mayanew @tracyreneejones @PumpkinSpice "Michelle Obama is not unusual. There are a lot of black women who are like her."
2 years, 6 months ago on A Peculiar Situation: One Black Woman's Complicated Relationship with White Women
@nyaw "I do not want to say ignorance is blist but..ever since I came on here reading articles in particular like these that generalize people experience. I always keep leaving feeling like, really people go away feeling this way about other women or asian women are seen as more beautiful...etc."
Nyaw, I agree with you when you speak of self-confidence. I personally don't feel as though anyone is more beautiful then me because of the color of their skin. My self esteem is just as high as the next womans. I'm in my 30s and my dad still tells me how beautiful I am. lol. I understand not all BW have this relationship with their father though.
I have friends in the global village and Asian, white, black, hispanic and they all make positive comments about my image, style, etc... and me vice versa. I had one Asian girl who was doing my nails tell me she wish she was my color. I'm the same color as Diana Ross probably.
When I look and see what women in the global village are buying, I see that these women are buying features that we (BW) were naturally born with (e.g. fuller lips, darker skin, rounded hips and buttocks, etc....Why? Because their men like it. What's the subtext here?
We are Eve!
@Christelyn @WendyH @MayaHope "This woman would throw another black woman under the bus to save a "brutha."
This right here is very real.
2 years, 6 months ago on More Black Women are Packing and From the Looks of It, For Good Reason: IR Couple Attacked By Wolf Pack
@Twiga @MayaHope THANK YOU. I feel the same way! I don't think she is a she either.
@Brenda55 @ELLE ROCHELLE Thank you. This is fantastic news.
2 years, 7 months ago on Reality Show Fatigue: What Ever Happened to the Cosby's?
This is why you Don't date or marry fatherless men ladies, I'm sorry this type of story is not even uncommon with them."
BINGO. Say it again. Say it again! I live by this.
2 years, 7 months ago on Dr. Boyce Watkins Thinks Welfare of Girlfriend-Beater is More Important Than the Victim
"When he saw me look at him, he grabs his girlfriend and starts making out with her and then looks at me to see my reaction. I guess it bothered him because he didn't get the reaction he expected and their practically dry humping in line annoying the other people in line."
Thank you EvieE your post. I have a question.
For WW who are with DBRs like this, don't they think there is something WRONG with the DBRs thought pattern or do they not care and try to feel as though they are superior because their DBR told them they are?
I mean if my WM had done this to a WW STRANGER in a public place I would have to dismiss him. As a woman I would think, if he does it to her, then I am next.
2 years, 7 months ago on GAT-DL Okey-Doke: Black Women "Breeding Out Blackness"?
@Toni_M "If I had to take a guess, it's because of the fear that BW will escape being on the "bottom" if enough of them marry white men."
I noticed this too. This is some major LOW SELF-ESTEEM, when a man can't compete with men in the GLOBAL village, but instead competes with women....and for what? NOT real estate, NOT to see who can be the most productive....but for what???? to get the WHITE MAN's approval?
This is beyond sad.
The panic over a black woman not labeling her child according to that happiness of other people may be a foot-stamping way of trying to get that woman to tell everyone the father of the child is black by proxy."
Oh my, this just got deep. I NEVER thought of it like this. Creepy and very thought provoking. Thank you for your comment.
@eugeniaberg "The lord gave you what you got to attract a mate, use it! Stop being scared and start having a social life."
Standing ovation. This is a good vitamin.
2 years, 7 months ago on Question of the Week: "Dates with God" and Love in Potato Land
@geneaj Hi, I am SO glad you came to this blog.
Date with God is apart of the indoctrination process. Have you tried internet sites like Eharmony?
@Karla No ma'am. I've been to many a churches like this in my 30+ years of living. The flip side is that they also did good things for the congregants as well.
2 years, 7 months ago on Black Women, Love and Where They <em>WON’T</em> Find It (Part 2)
@SirLoinDeBeef Oh my... thats a good one.
For me, it was the indoctrination from majority of the churches I attended. I am very familiar with the following phrases:
1. You want a husband? Wait, Wait, Wait. Its not your time yet.
2. You want to start your business? Ummm why dont you pray about it sister? Seek God's face. You know they stop giving loans out. (Did I ask for a loan?).
3. Labor for the Lord. If you need a blessing go and do God's work (true to an extent, but wayyy overused).
4. Cover up your legs honey, YOU don't want to entice the pastor.
5. Yes Pastor. Yes Pastor (this response has become sickening to me by the way).
6. If your husband knocks you down on the floor, lay there until Jesus picks you up.
7. The bible says if a MAN FINDETH..................
8. Don't rob God, pay your tithes
9. If you meet a guy take them to Pastor. Let him do a "smell test". (Um excuse me, I have a FATHER).
10. Okay so you say you want a tall dark and handsome man. Well you don't know how God will bless you. He may send you a midget with a good heart. (Please tell me why the subtext is never for BW to have what they desire? Why can't they say they are in agreement with me?)
11. Shock! You haven't been coming to church. Well at least you don't look unhappy. (Please give me a break).
12. Mothers Day (inumerable) Fathers Day (you can count the number of Fathers on a max of two hands).
13. So you want to travel abroad, well why don't you sit still and pray and seek God first. You know its dangerous over "there". (Plz. They fell to mention how its dangerous in their comunities although there is a church on every corner).
14. Sister in Church: Girl how have you been doing?
Me: I'm doing well. Life is great!
Sister in Church: Are you still saved?
15. Me: Sister Jenkins, I am tired. I think I will call it a night. Been cleaning this church kitchen for hours.
Sister Jenkins: Honey you got to "press on" . Don't let the devil come in you. (this teaches me to put myself last and be a mule).
This is why I love BWE messages because they put into words how I was feeling. They removed the fear of me "feeling" that something wasn't right. They unapologetically exposed me to the truth.
@geneaj @R. Kamaria "I so struggle with am I am not worthy issues."
YES you are worthy. God didn't say "WW you are worthy. AW you are worthy. BW you are not". DBRs said that. Please!
Yes you are worthy. If I may offer the following....If you are in an environment that tells you that you are not worthy, plz stack your chips and FLEE silently. Afterwards, (or even now) I would like to offer that counseling may be option. If counseling is not affordable (or even if it is) PLEASE keep reading BWE messages. There is lots of wisdom on these blogs.