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@CollegeWolf Cuntler. Funny. If Matty Cassel shows us nothing these last three games and Jay Cutler is available... my thoughts exactly CW, why the hell not?
8 months, 2 weeks ago on Need a Quarterback? Why Not Cutler?
Ahhhh for fucks sake, whatever. For some stupid reason I still got my new Peterson jersey on, I'm a few double ryes in, and I'm gonna wear it to my kid's hockey game in about two hours. Of course I'll have a zip up sweater over top of it. I don't wanna look like I enjoy cock that much. No offence to you Packer fans out there...
9 months, 3 weeks ago on PJD's Game Thread: Vikings vs. Cowboys
@CollegeWolf Yeah but CW, he is ever handsome doing it though.
@CollegeWolf @terry1982 But we all gotta agree that this coaching staff is without a doubt the worse display of ineptitude that we have seen in years. Seriously, Frazier has surpassed Childress. That's unbelievable.
10 months ago on PJD's Game 7 Recap: BREAKING NEWS - VIKINGS SUCK
@PJD @CollegeWolf Great statement. So true. Was watching the Jets game (NHL, don't wanna confuse anyone) had a few drinks in me already, flipped it over to the Vikes game just as Patterson was running it back for his touchdown. Threw my hands up, gave a little "okay here we go!", brought my hands back down, sat on the couch and said out loud ""what in the hell are they wearing?!" Didn't have another drink the rest of the night.
@Hammy1724 Honestly, are we really gonna sit down and watch this game tonight? Oh gosh the game's starting. Pass the rye.
10 months, 1 week ago on Masturbatory Game 6 Preview: Primetime Suck-Off
Frazier. I wanna love you man I really do. Show me something.
@James Scott1 This Vikings team is gonna force me to start watching NASCAR. Even the crashes in NASCAR got nothing on this explosion of garbage we get to witness with the Vikings every Sunday.
10 months, 2 weeks ago on PJD's Game 5 Recap: The Walking Dead, NFL Version
@fjionnna So does alcohol. That's why you always got to be sure to delete the spur of the moment videos you make on your phone before you kid finds 'em. 'Cause if you don't... oh goodness... the explanation you make up... it's awful.
Williams. Brutal. Nice call on that one. Musgrave... not even gonna start. It's obvious though that they're not even being pushed by their head coach. Can't even stand to look at Frazier any more. Remember when he was a great DC? Seems like that was forever ago. Hate seeing him on the sidelines. He's surpassed Childress in my books. How great would it look if we had that big fat walrus that's on KC's sidelines right now? We can only hope, PRAY, that the powers-that-be in the Vikings front office staff are already secretly making phone calls to some would be potential future coaching candidates. All for next year of course. I'm kind of excited just to see how bad this train wreck can really get.
I've been enjoying the wisdom of this informative blog for the past few years. Hell, I've even fired a couple off in mid read before. Honestly, how could you not? Seriously? But... I have never before felt the anger... literally the hatred, jumping off the screen like I did today. Well done sir. Sober when this was written Mr.PJD or did Mr.Crown Royal have a helping hand in your choice of words? If you were sober, that's scary. I love it.
11 months, 1 week ago on PJD's Game Three Recap: Keeping That Winless Streak Alive!
@CollegeWolf I didn't see it either CW but here we are...
11 months, 1 week ago on Purple Jesus Diaries Masturbatory Game Three Preview: Early Season Toilet Bowl
No game thread? What the frig?! I have to vent on a two day old blog?! Cock balls dammit. When's the press conference to announce the firing of that stupid lackluster fuck? Him and his borderline retarded coaching staff. Never mind, beyond borderline. Viktor and his head full of foam could do a better job those stack of gay only used dildos. I'm only eight beers in, this could get uglier later on. Thank goodness hockey season starts in 9 days.
@Hammy1724 Maybe just one one win against the Pack this year hey Hammy? I really don't wanna hear about how we got swept till next September. But if we do go down two, we gotta go down hard!
11 months, 2 weeks ago on Vikings Work Hard to Join Pantheon of 0-2 Teams
Interesting twist on things Mr. PJD. I never looked at it that way. Why blemish a perfect losing record? I like that analogy. In fact I just like spelling analogy 'cause I get to spell anal first.
@PJD @CollegeWolf Good golly what a suggestion! If that happened would the world explode? I think it just might.
11 months, 3 weeks ago on PJD's Game One Recap: Jury Still Out on Ponder?
Nothing left to say. The comments are all bang on and Mr. PJD your expertise in the journalistic department has left me so sexually aroused I'm wondering if I ever need to go to PuertoRicanTeens.com ever again 'cause goodness knows that one day, I'm gonna forget to erase the history. I'm out of market up here so even my buddies feel to terrible to cut me up about the loss. It's like they feel sorry for me. Like a death in the family. It's really pathetic. Watching that Niners/Packers was like a punch in the face. And not a good punch like a drunk donkeypunch but a "I'm sober taking a straight Bruce Lee shot straight to the nose" punch. Watching those quarterbacks manage their team and their coaches physically trying to will their team to victory was disheartening to watch. As for the purple pants... was able to stomach these ones. With two thick stripes going down the legs and a darker purple they don't look like leotards and a lot less gay. The white pants with white jersey was also pretty sharp as well. Oh please God help us all if they ever decide to go purple on purple.
"Taint to the glory hole". That was beautiful. As for Ponder, I'm nervous boys. Four weeks ago I was thinking 11-5, at least 10-6 but now... I know it's only preseason and Ponder doesn't have #28 beside him but... oh boy. Jennings might be showing signs of regret by the second quarter against the Lions. Don't like being nervous when it comes to football. When I'm nervous I drink. When I drink I go on the computer. When I drink and go on the computer I get brave and we all know what that leads to. Damn you Ponder.
12 months ago on Is Greg Jennings Regretting His Move?
@Hammy1724 HA! Now these are the beautiful comments that I miss when I don't check in with the PJD team on a daily basis. Such a silly somma bitch am I.
1 year, 4 months ago on NFL Draft 2013 Open Thread: Hot Prime Time Day One Action!
@peterandkelsey @PJD Well said my friend. Almost poetic.
1 year, 7 months ago on PJD's Playoff Recap: A Tangled Webb
"Midnight to six". Love it. That's why I love this blog. Don't comment as much as I used to but, I am body waxing myself on a daily basis so, what am I gonna do? As for the game... ah fuck it. I was three beers in when I heard Ponder wasn't playing but thought to myself "maybe Webb can at least manage the game for us". Kept on drinking. Switched over to the Crown Royal right before kickoff. Here we go baby! Watched that first drive of ours. Got so excited I literally tugged one off right there on the couch. Poured another drink, and then saw Webb throw the ball up 10 feet in the air when he was getting sacked and thought "cock balls dammit". I too, was done drinking by halftime. That game was over before it started and we all knew it. Maybe that's why the pain isn't as bad as it usually is. Or maybe I'm just getting used to the big strap-on I gotta take at the end of every football season 'cause I live and die for a loser team. *sigh*
Okay team, white boy here just rediscovered Public Enemy and Anthrax "Bring the Noise" on YouTube. Don't even attempt to listen to it unless you have a good sound system. Anybody else got some old school YouTube ideas? When I'm juiced I always seem to throw on "99 problems". But that song makes no sense to me since it's "99 problems" and a bitch is 95 of them to me. That's not nice. I'm sorry. I mean 94. Football baby. Crown Royal baby. Everything's gonna be alright.
1 year, 8 months ago on Game Thread: Vikings vs. Texans Mini-Playoff Game 1A
@CollegeWolf Gotta get me one of those AD Nike shirts the family had.
@Qommie It scares me when you swear. I love it.
Wanna know what a good Sunday is boys (oh sorry Qomms) and girls? Is when your boy is done hockey till the new year, the Christmas shopping is done, and the girlfriend is out, with the boy, buying your last gift, leaving you alone to slam some Crown Royal and enjoy the Vikings kicking the piss out of the brokeback Texans. I think I'll pour myself another double Crown. Are we heading for the playoffs? "PLAYOFFS?" Good golly. I love me some Crown Royal.
Now, if we could only spread out the field... we got #TWO EIGHT and that's it. Gosh, we could have a dangerous offense. *sigh* Three weeks left and still a reason to watch Vikings football so that's a good thing. 18 year old girls who can't control their liquor and pass out after a few drinks that's also a good thing. "These are a few of my favorite things..." la la la...
1 year, 8 months ago on PJD's Game 13 Recap: Zero Collapses Equal a Noteworthy Event
@ndmover Don't apologize for drinking and posting. That's a prerequisite on this blog. Also it's good to have a hot, young Puerto Rican girl at your disposal. You know, just in case.
1 year, 8 months ago on PJD's Game 12 Recap: Stop Wasting Adrian Peterson's Career, I Beg You
What's left to say? I'm loving what I'm reading here. Mr. PJD is FIRED THE FUCK UP!! Love it! And the comments?! CW and Hammy are laying down some hardcore mother-fucking truth. I got nothing to add. I will tell you this though, I have never sworn so much during a Vikings game as I did yesterday. FUBARed, never read that in the form of a past tense verb. Nice. Fuckin' rights boys, truth got told today.
@PJD Oh my goodness. The things we look at when we're drunk and nobody's home. Good times.
1 year, 9 months ago on PJD's Game 11 Recap: Thankful the Vikings and Bears Game Ended
Happy belated Thanksgiving to you Yankee bastards. I've said this before, you guys do that holiday right. You got about 10 million Canadians across this country rushing through their work day just to get home to watch some after work football. That's beautiful. For that we thank you. Sunday's game? What else is there to say? Coaching, Ponder, I can't remember but did we even get a sack on Cutler? *sigh* Got kinda juiced on Sunday so I came looking for a game thread and then realized it was your Thanksgiving weekend. It wasn't so much that I wanted to talk about the garbage game that we just witnessed but more about the 80's and 90's tunes that could be recommended. Since there was no thread I think I just threw on some Bell Biv Davoe and some Journey and then passed out on the couch. I'm at the point right now that I don't care if those idiotic NHL sons of bitches ever come back. But my goodness, you don't realize how much you miss hockey until you turn on MNF and you're forced to watch Carolina and Philly.
Great win. Still don't like our coaching but I'm a patient man. Juiced right now but not quite shit-faced, but well on my way. I'm all over that Three Days Grace song Chalk Outline. I keep replaying it on YouTube. Two more drinks and it'll be nothing but 80's and 90's tunes. Oh yeah! Skol baby.
1 year, 9 months ago on Game Thread: Lions vs. Vikings Part Deux
@PJD Damn. Sorry fellas. I'll do the drinking for all of us. Jeez, I hate/love/hate Calvin Johnson.
Holiday tomorrow up here, I think it is for you guys too. Anyway, hitting the Crown Royal hard. Oh yeah! Got four buddies who are down at the game drunk texting me. I decided to stay home and put the money towards upgrading my house. What a fool I am. Crown Royal baby!
"Skipping through throwing motion" now that's funny. This blog always brings a smile to my face. Kinda like when I see four Asian women tied up to a Dodge Ram. I have no idea what that means. I'm sorry. Where's my medication?
1 year, 9 months ago on Dissecting Christian Ponder's Poor Quarterback Play in Pictures
I know I'm a day late here but I've been busy dismantling my Kevin Love traps I had set up on Wednesday night. Everything was a go until I found out he broke his hand and he wasn't even here. The man-crush, so bizarre. Speaking of man-crushes I know of one certain shirtless individual who got himself booted far off the island Thursday night. I agree Mr. PJD, let's not even discuss this joke of a game. I do however want to point out that in all my history of watching sports I have never physically seen the momentum shift right before my eyes like it did when Allen got that sack. The proverbial momentum needle went from Bucs to Vikes right there in front of us. I'm thinking "we're gonna win this game!" Then we go three and out. That puppy was cute. It made me smile. After the next debauchery of a game we play maybe write about a set of "puppies". It'll make me do more than smile.
1 year, 10 months ago on HAHAHA, THIS PUPPY DOES A HAND STAND WHEN EATING!!!!1!
@PJD @Hammy1724 Just thinking of her voice makes me wanna punch a small dog in the face. Sooooo annoying. But I do remember in high school borrowing White Men Can't Jump from a buddy and there's that part where she's wearing the short shorts and I think there was somewhat of a shower scene? Am I right? Anyway, I'd be lying if I said I didn't go through a few pairs of socks at that part of the movie. Of course that was 20 years ago and I guess being a lot younger I could see past the annoying voice for the first twenty times. Now, three times tops.
1 year, 10 months ago on Prepare Your Eyes for Vikings Stadium Design Porn
I like the last one because of yes, the viking ship resemblance. But it needs to be a little more "glassy". Now the first one is pretty cool too but it might be too "glassy". We'd have to hire a lot of illegal Puerto Ricans just to keep the glass clean. Hang on a second... I got an idea. What if we just hired only Puerto Rican women to clean the glass? And kept the age of employment from 16-24? Wait, 16 might be too young. We don't want any legal issues. Let's say 16 and a half. And no chubby ones. It has nothing to do with appearance it's just that we can't have that kind of weight on top of the glass. Sorry, it's a safety issue, and nothing more. It's settled, we're going with the first sketch. Let's get those shovels in the ground. Can't wait!
@CollegeWolf I droolz too much last week. Thought I should maybe go alcohol free this weekend. Wasn't to happy about it. I'll make up for it next Sunday.
1 year, 10 months ago on Game Thread: Titans vs. Vikings Afternoon Fun Fest
@PJD Harvin jersey. I think so.
@CollegeWolf CW with your 9 & 3 quarters everybody's cumming! Oh my goodness, I'm into the Bon Jovi... "Cause you were born to be my baby"... oh no...
1 year, 11 months ago on Vikings vs. Lions: PJD's Masturbatory Game Four Preview
@CollegeWolf LESSly, I love it. But, is our coaching staff actually "coming" around? Are they actually listening to us retards on this blog? Or are they just "cumming"? Interesting. Hmmm... We'll see next week. I love youtube when I've been drinking. We're talking Motley Crue to Metallica to Roxette to Chevelle to Iron Maiden to Katy Perry to Eminen to whatever... oh baby... maybe a little Starship? Oh gosh, I must be drunk...
About to crack beer #10. Listening to Skid Row on YouTube, and there's no game thread. The one time I check out the thread and it's not there. Shucks. Well, do I proceed or just stop right now? I'm lost. Hang on... Beer #11... getting to drunk to type so here it is... coaching staff looks good (about motherfucking time) sorry, I'm trying not to swear. Ponder, Harvin, AP, defense, hot damn we're looking good. But so would a 200lbs asian woman right now. Oh baby. Are we for real?! Man, these Buds are going down like water...
@PJD @Qommie Stop it. We all know and love Nick Lachey. I still remember back in the early 2000's leaving the bar at closing time with a nice 98 Degrees slow song playing in the background talking to (throwing up on) some hot classy girl (dirty skank) and asking (demanding) her to come back to my house. Where we would then proceed to fool around (pull her by her hair into the bathroom) and eventually have great sex (37 seconds of me getting what I want) and then we'd cuddle a bit and exchange particulars and plan to meet up again (bitch, I don't care what your name is! And why are you still here anyway? Didn't I give you $2 for bus fare?). Oh the memories...
1 year, 11 months ago on Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari: Still Doing SUPER Well
@Qommie Still anxiously waiting...
1 year, 11 months ago on PJD's Game Two Recap: Vikings Gonna Vike
@PJD @CollegeWolf "LESSlie is More" t-shirts?! You boys might be on to something there. If this ass pounding is gonna be as bad as we think it's gonna be we might have to get this thing rolling. Somebody get a hold of the "Fire Chilly" sign guy and tell him he's on standby. He's about to get busy.
@CollegeWolf Hung at 9 & 3 quarters and a comedic wit about you second only to Mr. PJD himself. Completely unfair to the rest of the men down there. That's beautiful CW.
@CollegeWolf LESSly. I like that CW. Nice.
@PJD Ass pounding, now even that might be an understatement.
@CollegeWolf Dink and dump. Ha, that's fun to say, and do. Ponder didn't exactly stretch the field yesterday but of course all Musgrave was calling for most of the second half was "hand off to Adrian so he can run up the middle into a wall of people, and then we'll do it again, and again..." Ponder did have his moments with Percy and Rudolph but of course those were mostly dink and dump (ha) passes. Hmm... gotta give him a few more games. Right? I might just be giving him the benefit of the doubt though just because I hate our coaching staff so much. You think Frazier even knows Ponder's first name? I never see him talking to him, or anyone for that matter. Just typing this angers up the blood. I thought my level of hatred for Childress was high, it's about to be surpassed.
No swearing for me today. No talking about Puerto Rican teens today. I was gonna attempt to not touch myself while reading this blog today but c'mon, I'm only human. Anyway, we've played 2 bad teams so far and we've won by 3 and lost by 3, that makes us a bad team. The first 54 minutes was so painful. The ending was enjoyable, however, you're right PJD, you just knew the Vikes were gonna Vike. As for the coaching staff... forget it. Why bother? It's too early in the season to do anything about it anyway. We're gonna see on Sunday a well coached team and a team that's feeds off the energy of it's head coach. Steam rolled is probably an understatement. My kid had hockey yesterday so I couldn't drink. Probably a good thing. I'll be drinking this Sunday though. I'll have to. We'll all have to. My goodness, it's gonna be ugly.