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I am aware that there are those who read this blog and/or have seen the initials DBR on line and are not aware of what they mean and/or are uncomfortable with the concept. I am posting the blog post below in the hope of clearing up any misconceptions.
While DBR is commonly known to mean Damage Beyond Repair I feel that this blogger's addition of the word my to the mix more accurately defines the concept. Damaged Beyond my Repair.
Every person has the right to set limits when it comes to the behaviors and situations that they will tolerate from another. They also have the right to take on other people's problems and dysfunction as they chose and not as others attempt to guilt them into choosing. This guilting and shaming of black women who choose not to save and salvage those surrounding them, in most cases un-reciprocated, is the hallmark of too many black women's lives. Long past time for this to end.
8 hours, 40 minutes ago on DBRs Abound – A True Murder In The First
@Sfbta That's a pretty accurate description.
1 day, 5 hours ago on How to Talk to Your Partner About Racially-Charged Issues
Not calling any names but I beleive some one mentioned Renaissance festivals and Halloween.
Now is the time to get your costume.
You can even pick up a wench costume if you want.
1 day, 5 hours ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
We now have an open thread if you want to ask this question there. As to your question I live in Philly Pa.
1 day, 6 hours ago on How to Talk to Your Partner About Racially-Charged Issues
One is now working and starting a business. Jamila
The other is now working and preparing to move overseas. Toni.
1 day, 7 hours ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
As I said this is getting filed in the ignore category. Politicians will always jump in front of an issue to co-opt it for their own purposes. The sheeple are expected to now follow.
1 day, 7 hours ago on Live Tweeting from Ferguson; But Is @Jack Dorsey a Potential Ally for Black Women?
@RhondaSpeights @Brenda55 @caligirl94117
Good show. they are really nice and have a soft quilted satin lining so they are comfortable.
1 day, 15 hours ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
Did someone mention hats????????
If you are not adverse to fur check out these faux ones.
I love them.
1 day, 17 hours ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
@DWB @SirLoinDeBeef @thecrazyartist
I have to admit that I was a tough sell re. the hammock bit but now you can't get me out of them. Very comfortable. We have light weight travel hammocks as well as a Mayan hammock for the front porch and two hammock chairs also on the front porch. No lawn furniture for us. LOL..
Since we are both on the large side we use stands instead of bolting hooks into the porch beams. With the travel hammock we use straps so as to not harm the trees.
— With their Senate majority imperiled, Democrats are trying to
mobilize African-Americans outraged by the shooting in Ferguson, Mo., to
help them retain control of at least one chamber of Congress for
President Obama’s final two years in office.
black churches and on black talk radio, African-American civic leaders
have begun invoking the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, along with
conservative calls to impeach Mr. Obama, as they urge black voters to
channel their anger by voting Democratic in the midterm elections, in
which minority turnout is typically lower."
I am filing this in the ignore category.
2 days, 2 hours ago on Live Tweeting from Ferguson; But Is @Jack Dorsey a Potential Ally for Black Women?
Just going to address this part of your post.
"I think America as a whole is increasing its attention to fitness with FitBits, apps, etc. I am curious what the adoption and usage of these tools by Black women, by socio-economic level."
I am using this device:
I was lucky to get this as a hand me down when my sister upgraded hers. She saw it used on the World Greatest Loser show. She has lost about 70 pounds with the assistance of this monitor.
For me it has made a huge diffrence in how I work out and the food choices I make. It is a great motivator and helps keep me on track to efficiently accomplish my fitness goals. All I can say is this is worth every penny (if I had actually paid for it.)
I think we can do a little better than a comment to promote your book. Drop an email to Chris and we may do an article on it.
2 days, 3 hours ago on Open Thread. Summer is over on to Fall
I'll say a prayer that you ace it.
@caligirl94117 MODERATOR'S NOTE:
The moderator played hookie today and was hanging out in the park.
Give me a chance to unpack the picnic basket and I'll see what's up.
2 days, 9 hours ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
@RhondaSpeights @Brenda55 @Michelle Corion @Yorkshireman in Michigan @cjdimplez
You have such a beautiful face and can totally rock this look. Good for you.
Now go crazy with the earrings. That is what I do to set the look off. I have hundreds and with no hair to get in the way I can go buck wild with them.
3 days, 3 hours ago on The Importance of Little Mystery: Would You Click On Me?
@Christelyn @Brenda55 @DanielEwens
3 days, 7 hours ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
3 days, 9 hours ago on I’m So Glad Russell Brand Opened His Big, Fat, Mouth. Proof the Many Liberals Practice Soft Bigotry
You may want to mosey on over to:
BlackWomanThinkTank facebook fan page
To read Breukelen Bleu's insightful analysis of the doing in Ferguson and black women's role in the mix. A must read IMO.
3 days, 14 hours ago on Live Tweeting from Ferguson; But Is @Jack Dorsey a Potential Ally for Black Women?
Oh and nothing is wrong with you. You are just encountering the unfamiliar so being a bit nervous is normal. He is nervous too..
3 days, 15 hours ago on AAWG, ‘Savage Tango’ “Getting him to do more than smile.”
They don't bite. At least not with out permission. They are just guys, don't take them all that seriously.
@dani-BBW @Brenda55 @lindsaynagle
OK got it. Thanks.
"btw - Is pre-moderation on? My last comment went to pending status."
No. Its livefyer being livefyer. Sometimes for reasons I fail to understand it throws comments into pending, bozo or trash for no good reason.
I just go into those folders several times per day to see what is in there and place the comments in the correct spot.
Being a retired lady I often times do not roll out of bed before 10 am so it take me a sec to get to that job first thing in the morning.
Again help me out here. How do you define immediate?
With in one or two sentences? During the course of a conversation on a bus? At a party? What is the time frame here?
@JolieMelodie @Divalicious @meusedada
Be careful there. If you challenge her in any why she will accuse you of missing your psychotropic medication dose.
3 days, 16 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
I have read this four times. Not being a smart ass but I have to ask. How do you get dates if you don't trade phone numbers or tell the person asking a little about yourself?
3 days, 16 hours ago on AAWG, ‘Savage Tango’ “Getting him to do more than smile.”
A personal attack on a moderator. That was not smart.
No let me correct that. A personal attack on the site Administrator.
That was really not smart.
4 days, 3 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
Attitude adjustments are in order for a certain segment of the male population. They are not as much of a prize as they think they are.
4 days, 4 hours ago on How Yours Truly Played Cupid with New Power Couple, Film Maker Chris Silber and Dr. Misee Harris
@Divalicious @Brenda55 @bellechose
So the problem with black men is black women's attitudes.
Brrraaaahaaahaaahaaaa. Miss me with that one.
4 days, 5 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
I'm in. Come on folks lets help make this happen.
4 days, 5 hours ago on How Yours Truly Played Cupid with New Power Couple, Film Maker Chris Silber and Dr. Misee Harris
What are you kidding me?
This site has tons of them. Get on in here and tell your story man.
4 days, 14 hours ago on Here’s Another Rainbeau Who Just Came Out of Lurkdom
@DWB @Brenda55 @jpopforever28 @Divalicious @BWC
That's what we get for mixing up all that DNA. Don't know who is who any more. We ain't gonna stop either.
5 days, 1 hour ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
Well this is a mess. So the chicks who come here not digging "white" guys are really digging "white guys".
I beleive that is how they are classified. A better definition may be non-European men. Is that better?
Asians East and South
5 days, 2 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
"But my version of camping is the Marriott without room service."
Girl you ain't never lied.
5 days, 2 hours ago on UK Girl’s Response to Skinny Pickings for Swirling Across the Pond
@jpopforever28 @Brenda55 @Divalicious @BWC
We know that 30% of our audience are men. Most lurk however. Women tend to dominate social media so it stands to reason that most who participate are women.
I would also like to see more male participation on the site. It is getting there.
Your emphasis on the word women is not lost on me. that is not going to change anytime soon if ever.
@jpopforever28 @Divalicious @BWC
"Me personally am attracted to MOC outside of BM and you may be too and many women here seem to be primarily attracted to WM so I think sometimes there is a misconception by us women who aren't primarily attracted to that (WM) that there's a white savior complex coming off the other members when there isn't."
Thank-you. I would like to address this white man on a pedestal B.S. for a bit.
Point one. In the U.S. the largest group of males are white men. The are much more readily available for dating and marriage.
Sure there are other non-black and non-white men out there and we have done multiply articles on the unique challenges of meeting ,dating and marrying them. Not to discourage but to give an accurate pictures of what the deal is.
Point two. Take a look at this site when it comes to male participation. That's right, except for one Chinese man everyone else is a white men.
Now it would be nice if other non-black men of color showed up here to meet and interact with the ladies here but they don't. So what are we to make of that? Savior complex when it comes to white men? Hardly. Some guys are just stepping up more than others and getting the attention.
" UNFORTUNATELY, some friends of friends were apparently NBAB and were SO rude and stank the guys politely excused themselves after a couple of very icy minutes."
Ahhhhhhh what was that again? Well what would ever give white men the impression that black women don't dig them?
5 days, 3 hours ago on UK Girl’s Response to Skinny Pickings for Swirling Across the Pond
"Is it so hard to understand that not everyone resolves issues at the same pace?"
You said it. No it is not hard to understand. Some of us have been in that pit and know the way out. So don't get your nose bent out of shape when someone posts an opinion and an option that was not personally directed at any one person specifically.
If you chose to jump in front of the comment and feel some kind of way. That. Is. On. You. No one directed it at anyone. No one told any one to button it. What they did do is say time to put the big girl panties on and get to work. What is done is done. Look at it and learn from it don't keep living it.
None the less what was stated was valuable for those wanting the advice and I will not shut down the person who brings it direct. Some of us need it that way.
Good for you. Look the ugliness in the face and move on past it. Life is on the other side.
Compassion is not coddling. Coddling weakens.
No one is shutting down anyone conversation or preventing anyone from telling their story. No one is shaming.
Look ladies there is an old saying, "You can throw up your hands or put up your dukes." Are you worth fighting for? Is the like and love you want worth getting in the fray and making it happen for you.
Venting the pain is just one step in the process. What is your next step?
@Christelyn @Brenda55 @Divalicious @bellechose
Some folks need to accept that black men do not trip every black woman's trigger and not come into this space all amped looking for a fight.
5 days, 4 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
This is a dad.
Who ever tells you that your daughters don't need a caring dad in the house punch them in the chops.
Salt in wounds or a cold splash of water to the face. Neither are comfortable.
All you say is true for many black women. Yet time marches on. How long do you carry this? Seriously? Why do battle with women who have successfully accomplished the goal that many who visit this site seek to accomplish? Why pick the advice apart looking for why what coupled women advise won't work for you? Why waste your time here if you are not going to try to heal and then move into a new direction. Each woman cannot do much about their past but each women controls their futures.
5 days, 4 hours ago on UK Girl’s Response to Skinny Pickings for Swirling Across the Pond
@Divalicious @bellechose MODERATOR'S NOTE:
You are bringing up a whole lot of stuff that is not even in the article.
I am not going to allow you to ramp up the heat level of this thread needlessly.
Chill or go.
5 days, 5 hours ago on Is It Okay to Discourage Your Daughters from Dating Black Men?
Couldn't get them all in. Guess we are going to have to do a part 2 to this article.
5 days, 6 hours ago on SirLoins Babe Wenesday: Super She/ros
@bellechose Thank you. Glad someone finally said this.
5 days, 10 hours ago on UK Girl’s Response to Skinny Pickings for Swirling Across the Pond
@ElLagoJeff @WorldTravelingChic @mystikspiral @BreannaNouveaux
Can I chime in here?
We have had men post on this site in the past that they have a much easier time successfully approaching Non-AAbw i.e. Black women from Africa and the Islands. Do you find that to be the case?
5 days, 13 hours ago on QOTW: “Will I Ever Get a Date…Ever?!”