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MODERATORS NOTE: 


Due to those dreaded technical difficulties...i.e.. Brenda55 screwed up.... some photos in our earlier Babe Wednesdays are not showing up. Those older articles are being removed.


Sorry for the inconvenience.


4 hours, 11 minutes ago on SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: Looking back on it

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@ElLagoJeff @Brenda55

This as you know goes both ways. There are women, like myself, who would not see a man with dependent children as a viable option to have a relationship with.


Not everyone feels that way of course but it is best to know what you can handle. The person with kids needs to be aware that this is a possibility when they are interested in finding a relationship. 

22 hours, 2 minutes ago on #NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.

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Why is it that when I read these letters it is all about what the author wants and not what the man she is interested in wants?


Not once in that letter was she able to verbalize that.  Not once. Does she even know? 


Further if the man in question were at all interested in being a support to this young women he would be making it clear that he wants to be more than a friend.

There would be no doubt of that. He is staying in the friend zone because he wants to stay in the friend zone.  At age 31 he is more than likely not interested in taking on the support of a woman with two children when he is still very much able to find a woman who comes prepared to start a family with him free of encumbrances.


Nothing about this young woman's thought process is at all realistic.  She will have to get realistic with a quickness because life is about to take her on a course that will not be the easiest to navigate


I hate to see young women go down this path. It just makes life so much harder than it needs to be and it is so easily preventable.

1 day, 7 hours ago on #NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.

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Just stopping by to drop this in here. This site has some really good nutrition information. 


http://skipthepie.org/

1 day, 13 hours ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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@Maxine I like the hummus  idea.

1 day, 22 hours ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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@MixedUpInVegas That's a great meatless Monday meal.

1 day, 22 hours ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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Great question.


For her.

"Why do black people do X-Y-Z?"  (expectant look on face waiting for answer)


(puzzled look on face in reply. Inflection in voice of wonderment.)


" I have no idea.  Why do they?" (expectant look on face waiting for answer)



That puts the fool on the spot instead of you and they usually STFU.


For him.

 "Why do black people do X-Y-Z?"  (expectant look on face waiting for answer)


(puzzled look. Dumbfounded inflection in voice)

 "I going to butt in here but why the heck should she know?" (expectant look on face waiting for answer)


Turn the situation back on the person asking the stupid and intrusive question that usually does it. 


Don't let them get away with the no offence bit either.  Here is your reply to that one.

"No offence take just wondering where your head is at."  Most folks won't want to go there in a social setting and will drop it.


As always humor if your friend  




2 days, 5 hours ago on QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb Questions!”

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@pioneervalleywoman

I made that the other night and it was a hit.  Having the left overs tonight.

2 days, 5 hours ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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Looking in that basket I see Salsa.

I also see stuffed bell peppers.

Lets see..... Oh yeah,  Grill eggplant.

And of course smoothie fixings.

2 days, 5 hours ago on Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!

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@cjdimplez @Justme65 @SavageTango @Kaiju_Bleu @The Working Home Keeper @EqualOppLover


Think that's how Tango got to fill out that black centurion outfit?  Yeah still picturing that.  LOL.

2 days, 15 hours ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@BWC

"Not much time left to sweat the small stuff so we are pedaling forward together."


Beautiful.  

2 days, 15 hours ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@Kaiju_Bleu

"Always remember that a private dick (love that phrase) is a valuable tool."


Don't we all know it. ; p

2 days, 15 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@HaroldBozarth @Justme65 @SavageTango @Brenda55

Just to let you know we do showcase IRR books around here so when you are ready.............

2 days, 16 hours ago on SavageTango tells all: Getting his attention

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@BWC


Happy Early Birthday fellow Leo.  Mine is the 2nd.

2 days, 16 hours ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@CityofBlueTile @LadyHumor @Law Wanxi


" The women in happy relationships with ethnic men who have chosen them over their families (if it came to that) are on websites that cater to nurturing and supporting their relationships or are not online."



This right here.  If those ladies care to stop by and post their stories they are certainly welcome in fact their input would be invaluable since they can offer insight as to how they negotiated dating and marrying an ethnic man.


Since they are not posting on this site we have to go with the women who are relaying their own experiences.


"The clear message is date ethnic men at your own risk but the best choice is white men. It's ironic because the site is called BEYOND black and white. Ah well."



You insist on littering this thread with this false message and I am going to call you out for it each and every time you do. We have featured positive stories on dating ethnic men as well as the challenges.

Women in relationships with non-white and non-black men are more than welcome to post here.


Ethnic men who are in relationships with black women are free to tell their stories. 


This article is getting wide distributions and guess what?


Crickets.  


Which men show up and are active participates on this site?  One Chinese man and the rest...that's right......white men who are involved with black women or want to be?

Now you may want to call bias in favor of white men but the facts are the facts. 

We are not excluding anyone. For some reason few ethnic men are finding their way over here to a site that focuses on black women who want to date and marry inter-racially.  You may want to look outside of this site for the answer why cause it sure ain't because we are discouraging their participation.



2 days, 18 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@JesseFactotum @Brenda55 @CityofBlueTile

"I thought this was one of the few places on the web that Black women were safe to voice this topic in all its various "colors".'


It is and that is just the way we want it. 

3 days ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@CityofBlueTile

Ah,ah,ah.  

There goes that putting white men on pedestals accusation again. No we are not going to let you get away with that one.


Now which is it?  We talk about the reality of dating and marrying IRR or the fantasy?  We cover it all or only the part that tell you want to read?


The comments are coming from real people who are voicing their real experience.  It is what it is. Now I am sure that there are black women who have had great relationships and marriages with ethnic men. They are out there and a few have posted their stories. There are also ethnic men who also love black women and they too have posted on this site.


The fact remains that all is not roses when it comes to dating out side of your race or culture and acknowledging that is not discouraging one group and favoring another.  It is just telling it like it is. 

3 days, 1 hour ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@_Toni_

Those can both be tough to kick.  What may help with the wheat is gradually cutting back.  What is working for me is increasing the amount of fruits and veggies I eat. I know you are off fruit also but I am not.


You can start with something like pasta and sub squash for part if that say 50 percent pasta, 50 percent squash.  Then gradually increase the squash until you eliminate the pasta all together. I have one of those spiralizers that Chris mentioned. I make zucchini pasta with it and mix it with spaghetti. That is working great for me.


I found that I ate most of my wheat products at breakfast.  Now that I for the most part drink smooches that has markedly cut down on the amount of wheat that I eat. I also don't eat many sandwiches these days. I am lucky since Keith bakes bread and we have been experimenting with non-wheat flours with good results.


To cut down on bread you may want to make your sandwich with lettuces wraps instead. I have used greens and cabbage instead of pasta for some dishes also. Since most meals offer bread as a side and not an ingredient in the dish you can just us veggies to fill that role.  I do that with chips.  I now make veggie chips to eat instead of the wheat based one that I used to. Then there are all of the rice based chips out there that you may want to try.



3 days, 7 hours ago on 99 Reasons Wheat and Sugar are Your Problem.

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@Kaiju_Bleu @SirLoinDeBeef

"I will help my hero ride, water, and clean the stalls of his (and my) steed."


Girrrrrl you are better than me.  Ain't no way I'm picking up horse apples for some man.  Blech.

3 days, 14 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@Kaiju_Bleu @Justme65 @BWC

The Truth is out there.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(but it's on a need to know basis and I don't need to know.)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrlF46tZiQo

3 days, 14 hours ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@BWC Thanks for posting the Star Trek link.  I have a sister that is a MAJOR Trekkie.  She may already know about this site but I will send it along to her just in case. 

3 days, 14 hours ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@CityofBlueTile

No one has said that.


Look we would be remiss if we painted a picture that all is rainbows and unicorns when it comes to entering and maintaining an interracial relationship.  


In fact this site has been accused of that. We are trying to give you the information that you need so that you know what you are in for that is all. 


So this site is very much for you.  We will attempt to give you what you need to make the best decision for you. 

4 days, 16 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@Statuesque

"Typical Black Americans, despite racism and colorism, have just as much (if not more) in common with their fellow White Americans than they do a person of African descent who is Latin, Africans and folks from all parts of Asia."


THANK-YOU!!!!!!!!

If you don't beleive that just ask anyone from those cultures how they see you.  You will get an ear full.

4 days, 22 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@Kaiju_Bleu @mim86

"HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE ASHAMED for treating another human being the way he treated you.  And, he did it because he was too weak, insecure, dependent on and needy for the approval of others. "

4 days, 22 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@Kaiju_Bleu

I think one of the reasons that IRR are more successful in those of us who are a bit older is life experience and face it financial and familial independence. That is why I cosign what jazzyfae45 posted. 


IRR relationships do not happen in a vacuum as we all know and the challenges are really nothing new. Lots of stories have been penned regarding those challenges with unscrupulous men and women being part of the picture.

4 days, 23 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@ElLagoJeff

"But telling your family to go to hell and risking potential alienation is a difficult thing for most people to do.  This is why people need to be honest from jump street, both with the other person and themselves.  Do not date someone outside your race if you are not prepared to face the full slate of BS you will encounter!"


Real talk.  

5 days, 2 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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MODERATOR'S NOTE:

Gentlemen:

As you may have noticed we have removed a couple of photos.  While we love your participation and encourage thus please be mindful that you guys are not the only ones viewing and enjoying this thread.


The point here is to showcase black women's beauty and to offer you a platform to share and discuss same with like minded men. We know that many of you do not have many outlets for dong that.  We are not prudes and don't care what you all have in your private stanches.  This is not however private and this feature must adhere to the terms of service of this site and that of our our affiliates which does cover the content found in the comment section as well as our articles. 


Please do not post anything that you would have a problem posting if you were not under the cover of screen names and avatars or that will put our business relationships at risk.  We want to see Babe Wednesday continue and be successful and with your help it can be.


Thank-you.

5 days, 2 hours ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!! Curvy Version…

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@MichelePaynter1

"BW, no matter how much we want to be loved by a good and loving man, we must love ourselves best, and not be afraid to relinquish that relationship, should we feel disrespected, minimized in our personhood,  or hid away in some closet, just for our boyfriends to save face with his family or his friends!"


Precisely.  No matter what race of man he is. 

5 days, 4 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@jesslabellefleur @ScorpioEnigma09 @Keyasha


I too will address the pedestal thing. I look at it more like that platform you see at the Olympics where the gold metal winner is on top above the silver and the bronze. 


Some guys are putting their money where their mouth is and putting a ring on it more routinely than others.  Now if you show me proof that men who are non-white are doing that then I will change my opinion. 



5 days, 4 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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Nothing new under the sun.  Sorry, but this is an old story.  I went to GWU in the early eighties.  The place was choke full of men from the Middle East.  Most of them were hitting anything that moved, blonds being their top favorite and preference, with absolutely no intention of marrying any of them.


They were keeping their own women pure by banging those low moral, decedent, EASY, American Chicks. Black women? Meh, just part of the variety, an experience, something to check off your list and quite frankly lower on the desirability scale. Most of them wanted to see if sex with a black women really was an "animalistic"  and "Jungle" as they were told.   These men will keep you as a shortie if that but few see you good enough to take home to mom. 


Now if you are just checking off your own list and testing it out then fine, have at it and move on.  You know not to expect more than getting an itch scratched.  If you are marriage minded then don't get your hopes up and don't waste a lot of time with these guys.  It is just like hoping for that purple unicorn to show up. Probably not happening. 

5 days, 4 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First

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@SavageTango

Some of these articles move off the front page fast.  If you want to keep up with them just bookmark the link.


http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/savagetango-drops-knowledge-getting-attention/

5 days, 5 hours ago on SavageTango tells all: Getting his attention

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@HaroldBozarth Popping back in to say there are tours that you can do on a Segway.

5 days, 18 hours ago on Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People

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@harem @HaroldBozarth Concerts in the park are nice too.

5 days, 18 hours ago on Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People

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@HaroldBozarth

Think of stuff you like to do and plan around it. Break up the day to allow rest periods for you.....and her.  Beyond the usual spectator type things where you spend much of the date not talking and watching others do things. Try taking the lady out on a tour.  A carriage ride is fun. 

5 days, 23 hours ago on Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People

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@tonyrog

What is that old pick up line?

"Would you like a little cream in your coffee?"

5 days, 23 hours ago on Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!! Curvy Version…

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@Kaiju_Bleu @Brenda55 @The Working Home Keeper @EqualOppLover


Tell ya a little story.  This happens a lot.  Hubby and I eat out quite a bit and pay serious coin for our meals. $150 to $300 range usually. Once hit $450 and it was worth every bite...but I digress.


We see people of all configurations and combinations when we are out. Now you figure you can't be doing all that bad if you can drop that kind of cash for a meal right? 


Being an old married couple Keith and I sometimes spend time quietly enjoying our meal which of course allows us to observe and over hear what is going on around us.  I am remembering two couples one BM/BW the other BM/WW. Different times, different cities, different age couples. The men spent the entire meal in brood mode. I mean the job sucked. Their life sucked. Lost this opportunity or that. The women could not get a word in and were never asked how was their day.  Nope Black man in brood mode was what passed as light dinner conversation. 


Seriously? I mean you are out for a nice dinner  with a lovely lady....and can afford to pay for it and it's that deep?  She had to listen to this pain porn monologue over dinner? It never occurred to you that she may have some stuff to share? Or that maybe you could shut  down the oppression Olympics for a bit, relax, smell the roses and enjoy the moment? 


I felt for the two women since I have been there. A total drag and one I am glad I do not have to bother with.


6 days ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@Brice Cameron @Lemmmy12

I would like to see that study also.


For all of you folks gleefully doing cart wheels with your predictions of how biracials will or won't self identify just cool your jets.


It is not your call.  It is theirs. The rest of us are going to have to learn to accept their choice and respect it.  Why? Because their numbers are growing and that means clout and the ability to change the narrative. 

6 days ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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@Kaiju_Bleu @The Working Home Keeper @EqualOppLover

"Let me ask, ladies (please share) do you find that the bm who cross your paths don't smile?  If you too have noticed this, why do you think they choose not smile?"


Yep.  I have noticed that and it is a drag. Why? The reasons are many.  All I know I don't have to deal with it so I don't.

6 days ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

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