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Not long after Lupita won and 12 Years started racking up awards someone told me about how all the black men associated with the film were with white women and one guy (the screenwriter) was with an Asian woman. I said so what? Fassbender has dated numerous women of color (several of whom were black) and that McQueen has consistently given black women desirable roles, sometimes having to fight for a black women to get that role. Well apparently this person felt like putting black women in movie roles where they can be seen as desirable women or in a role where they win an Academy Award is not enough--the true test of how you feel about black women is whether or not you are sleeping with one. So, sexing black women is being supportive of them, but putting black women in major film roles where they win awards, make money, advance their careers, and end up being seen by millions of eligible men is NOT being supportive of them. OK.
I've liked McQueen from the beginning. He's an amazing director and when he and Fassbender get together magic happens.
1 week ago on Judge Not An Ally By Their Skin Color or Whom They Marry…Support is an Action
@Seenyc That song has become my jam! And yes, Lupita WON!!! I was waiting for that category and when I heard her name I jumped up and threw my hands in the air. Her acceptance speech was so lovely.
1 week, 1 day ago on The “Brown Girl” Academy Awards…Who Took the Show?
Did she say that because she was white and had blue eyes that she believed this meant she would be treated better than other women in India? I doubt it. Sometimes there can be a tendency to project these feelings of supposed superiority onto white women that are not even there; Unfortunately, there are black women who really do believe that every white women is just walking around thinking her sh*t don't stank.
What I think the woman who went to India thought was what most women--black, white, or whatever think: "I'm going to follow the rules just like I was told to do and that will protect me from harassment." But unfortunately, when you live in a culture where there is an abundance of misogynist men, there really is no protection from abusive behavior. There have been several stories that I've heard of in India of women being gang raped on buses or in other public places to the point where the victim either dies from her injuries or commits suicide later.
Patriarchy is a real thing and its not just something feminists made up to scare women living in the Western world into joining the feminist movement.
2 weeks ago on Pakistan, Afghanistan or Blackistan: For Women its All The Same
@zipporah Before we start the Bobby Brown bashing, lets not forget that it was her BROTHER who got Whitney starting using cocaine. She might have gone downhill faster once she and Bobby starting rolling together, but she was already on her way in the wrong direction by the time he came into the picture.
2 weeks ago on Oh Sh!t…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce!
" Well in fairness, they had been dating since they were teens."
That's what makes this so sad IMO. I thought these two would be able to stick it out through thick and thin because they had known each other for so long and appeared to be so in love all the time. Wow.
" And experienced the "hate" (really it is envy) ..."
I'm glad you pointed out that the emotion they are feeling is really envy.
2 weeks, 6 days ago on Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman?
(Okay, this will be my second comment!)
Most stay-at-home moms are middle-class or poor. The cost of daycare makes it cheaper for many to just stay home with the kids rather than to get a job and have most, if not all, of their paycheck going towards childcare.
3 weeks ago on Lessons From The Hubster: What You Get With a Guy Who Wants to Go Dutch on the First Date
My first (and ONLY comment).
Which of the following couples has a FAIR/EQUAL/JUST relationship?
Couple 1: Both the man and the woman have full time jobs; they take about equal care of their two children; they split household chores as evenly as possible.
Couple 2: The man works full time outside of the home and the wife stays home and takes care of the two kids; Mom has no source of income other than her husband and he is not required to do any of the household chores or any of the requisite childcare tasks (bathing; feeding;clothing)
Couple 3: The woman and the man both work full time but the woman makes 70 percent of the household income and the man makes 30 percent; thus, they split all household bills 70/30. The man does most of the childcare but the woman does most of the other duties around the house; they have two children.
The answer to the question is that ALL THREE COUPLES HAVE EQUITABLE/FAIR/JUST relationships, as long as both parties are happy with how their household is being run. There is no one true right way for a couple to arrange their family.
If you are a man who thinks that paying for all the dates and paying all other bills so that your wife can stay home with the kids is sexist and exploitative of you, then fine. You need a woman who enjoys work and has no intention of quitting her job to raise the kids full time (if you two even want to have kids; who knows, both of you might want to remain childfree.) Nothing wrong with this. Believe me, there are plenty of women out there who don't have a domestic bone in their bodies and women who don't want kids and women who do want kids but want to have a nanny to help raise the kids and a maid to clean the house.
If you are a man/woman who wants to have mom stay home and take care of the house/kids/husband then that's cool too. Do you.
Feminism does not say that one form of relationship is better than any other. Only that men and women should have the choice to pursue the type of arrangement that makes them happiest without being told that they are bad parents (or worst) because they don't want to pursue the socially prescribed appropriate way of living.
You want to know what is also feminist? The believe that just because work is unpaid that does not make that work not valuable and that does not mean that a non-working partner is not "working" as hard as the partner who gets up and goes to a paying job everyday. Raising children is hard, valuable work; but we don't pay people to raise their own children. Running the PTA, planning birthday parties, keeping grandma in your home so that she doesn't have to go to a nursing home is valuable work--but you don't get paid for it. When your husband goes to work everyday in clean clothes--but he's never been anywhere near a washing machine and he has no idea what cleaners you take his dress shirts to--that level of comfort and convenience has value--but again, women don't get paid for it. Women's work has traditional been the work that held communities together and enhanced everyone's way of life, but unfortunately patriarchal thinking says that unless you can put a price tag on it and unless someone is paying you to do it, then whatever you are doing has no value. This idea that women's work has no value unless they are receiving a paycheck for it is sexist.
I think you might want to consider revisiting whether or not some of the matchmaking services that you dismissed are worth a try.
If a matchmaking services has a lot of good testimonials there are bound to be one or two disgruntled customers who file complaints. I've filed complaints with the BBB, too. So I would examine how much weight I want to give to the one or two bad reviews given to a business, especially if the business has been in existence for years and the good far outweighs the bad.
Also, you say you didn't have much luck with online dating services. If you're willing to pay money to a matchmaking service would you also be willing to pay for a professional review of your online dating profile(s) and the help of a professional with online dating? Some time ago I reviewed the book Love@First Click for BB&W; the writer of that book is a professional matchmaker who specializes in online dating. Her company is named eFlirt Expert. You might want to check out the services her company provides and look into other companies that offer similar services.
3 weeks, 3 days ago on Searching for a Matchmaker: Back to a Familiar Place
But THIS type of swagger? Not at all.
3 weeks, 6 days ago on Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man’s penis.
And I like this kind of swagger:
Well, I do like swagger.
I like this kind of swagger
@LadyHumor @freeflowchi If anything, Tyra's mistake was dating Utendahl for 4 years during her 30's. That's a long time to date someone in your mid-thirties with no plans for marriage when you claim you want marriage and kids.
Naomi Campbell did the same thing with that married billionaire.
3 weeks, 6 days ago on It’s Official: Tyra Banks Has a New Boo
I agree. I like Beyonce's new album, but I don't let my daughter listen to it. Parents/adults have to take some responsibility for the material that they allow in their homes and on their car radios if such material is going to be placed in front of children.
Adults are allowed to make adult entertainment.
4 weeks ago on Chile Bye: Black Women Are More Than the Length of Their Hair
@LadyHumor No, I wouldn't consider you a hater. Tyra has avoided a bad marriage and having kids with a deadbeat, so I'm hoping she has also taken proactive steps to make sure that she can still have children.
At 40 she probably can still have kids, but it will obviously be more difficult.
4 weeks ago on It’s Official: Tyra Banks Has a New Boo
Oh my goodness! You mean to tell me that I MISSED the season premiere of The Walking Dead last night???? I didn't even know the season was back...I had to stop reading this past so as to not get any spoilers.
*faints, then gets back up and goes to kitchen to make some tea before turning on the TV and looking for last nights Walking Dead episode*
4 weeks ago on Michonne…. The Magnificent (Or My Reason to Discuss Walking Dead and Danai Gurira)
@Renaissanceman @Jamila @ariahead
Wow, I'm sorry you felt that way Renaissance. The purpose of these types of movies is not to make anyone feel bad. These movies are about telling the stories of those who were once silenced and they're about making sure that we (meaning ALL of us) don't forget history so that we can avoid repeating the mistakes of our forefathers.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on How Much, If Anything, Do the Beneficiaries of Profits From Slavery Owe to the Descendants of Former Slaves?
I'm just so tired of Gabrielle Union as of late. It seems like she tries to jump on any and every bandwagon, and says the craziest things to get attention.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on Chile Bye: Black Women Are More Than the Length of Their Hair
"No comment" is not a comment.
In another way, it's a way to avoid making what might be considered a bad comment.
4 weeks, 1 day ago on OK, So You Possibly Hate (Or Love) Beyoncé’s New Album, But At Least You Now Know Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Is
The main reason why I don't think reparations for blacks is realistic is that slavery was actually legal, unlike forced prostitution and the Holocaust.
Slavery was horrible, and unethical, and immoral, but it was legal at the time it took place. I think reparations should probably be reserved for the victims of illegal behavior.
1 month ago on How Much, If Anything, Do the Beneficiaries of Profits From Slavery Owe to the Descendants of Former Slaves?