Bio not provided
After watching some of the video I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that Frank's two or three chapters are titled "Just Don't Date A N*gga Like Me If You Want to Get Married", Parts 1, 2, and maybe 3?
5 days ago on When IBM Nonsense Doesn’t Go Over Well with White America
Notice how he says a woman should cater to "her man" not "her HUSBAND"? Cause a woman should just roll out the red carpet for any dude that expresses any interest in her. :/
5 days, 5 hours ago on When IBM Nonsense Doesn’t Go Over Well with White America
I saw that too. That was so cliche all I could do was roll my eyes.
5 days, 6 hours ago on When IBM Nonsense Doesn’t Go Over Well with White America
So, out of the 8 black men who co-wrote this book 1 is married, one is divorced, and the rest have never married? And to top it all off, the one who is married is a Haitian immigrant, not even an AA black man? Jesus Fix It.
5 days, 7 hours ago on When IBM Nonsense Doesn’t Go Over Well with White America
I'm no Azealia fan either and you pretty much summed up why. Ms. Banks is CONSTANTLY saying something misogynistic or hateful or just plain ridiculous on twitter. When I heard that Ms. Banks had attacked TI's wife--unprovoked--in such an ugly fashion I knew then that this was not a woman that I wanted to get behind in any way, shape, or fashion. Azealia just wants to replace Iggy as female rapper du jour and then once she gets the spot she'll just use it to continue to spew gutter language and misogyny towards other women.
1 month, 1 week ago on The Battle of the Azealias: Who Gets Mocked, Who Gets Protected.
I think Azealia needs a hug too. She reminds me of the dark-skinned girl protagonist of The Bluest Eye. She is being destroyed from the outside by the forces that are aligned against her and she is being destroyed from the inside by her own misguided but earnest thinking.
"The rap game was never set up to help any woman win.
As such, AB needs to catch a clue now rather than later and stop trying to beat her head against the brick wall that is the color-struck, black woman-hating rap industry."
Azealia Banks is fighting to die on the wrong mountain.
I've never hear either Iggy Azalea claiming that white people invented rap or seen/heard Miley Cyrus saying white people invented twerking.
From what I've seen, these white artists who perform art that was invented by black people know full well where that art came from. It's institutionalized racism and the quiet racism that exists in the hearts of many people that allows white people to get famous doing stuff that black people are either castigated for or ignored.
@Sfbta 10 days?! It's been much longer than that. About 2-3 months. I'm going to force myself to start back up in January.
1 month, 1 week ago on Leona’s Love Quest OK, Cupid Tap Me Out: I’m Done with Online Dating
@Shun000208 I'm taking a break from the online dating scene. I think I'll try it again next year.
Tinder DEFINATELY attracts a lot of guys looking for hookups. I went out with one guy that I met on there; turned out be a total disaster. Another I talked too and he seemed really great but his schedule was too crazy and he lived too far away--I never met him because it just didn't seem like good idea to continue to talk to someone who lived that far away.
The guy who was a disaster was 35 years old. And he was also Indian. Seems really similar to your guy #3.
@SirLoinDeBeef @Jamila What exactly is "regret-rape"? I have no idea what that even is.
1 month, 4 weeks ago on The Official Bill Cosby (Alleged) Rape/Rant Thread…
Looking funny at someone is not a justification for lynching them. Even if all of those white women were telling the truth that doesn't justify lynching.
Even if an old woman is caught muttering funny words or suffering from mental illness or engaging in black magic, that doesn't justify hanging her.
Your comparison of the Salem witch trials/hanging to Cosby's situation is apples to oranges.
"Though it’s easy to dismiss over a dozen women who came forward..."
And this is the really sad part, this is why so many women don't come forward about being raped...because so many people find it so easy to dismiss women who say that they've been raped or otherwise taken advantage of in a sexual fashion by men.
I ABSOLUTELY, UNEQUIVOCALLY believe Bill Cosby to be a rapist and predator of women. Over a dozen women have come forward--some claiming rape, some claiming more benign sexual misconduct--to say that Bill Cosby took advantage of them. I don't believe that over a dozen women, women who don't all know each other, women of all ages, women who are black, women who are white, are all in cahoots to "bring a good black man down."
I don't think you did anything wrong by telling that guy how you felt, even if you did so in a very emotional way. We are human beings and that means that sometimes we cry, sometimes we're hurt, sometimes we're scared, and sometimes we need to talk about our feelings. Mature adults understand that other people have feelings too. A guy who only wants to deal with you when you are all "happy, happy, joy, joy" is basically saying he doesn't want to deal with a real woman who has real feelings and behaves like a real human being.
As we both read in Attached, not everyone has the same ability to be open and honest and deeply intimate.
2 months, 1 week ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Taking the Fear out of Relationship Failures
"I dont see whats wrong with expressing anger at having to listen to someone elses dating voes and being frienzoned. Women are too often told that any emotional ouburst is going to "push the frigile man creature away" and that feeling upset is "bad" or needy. No its not. Its a human thing and its normal. Men who can not handle any emotions apart from aloof, uniterested and super independent are a bit dbr. Nothing you ever do will be enough for them"
I second this whole paragraph. To have feelings is to be human.
@itsgoodtobeme @Jamila I've always heard really good things about Spelman and the caliber of women that attend there. I also think that Morehouse men have a pretty good reputation too. Morehouse and Spelman are two of the few remaining HBCU's that actually have good academic reputations.
But back to Spelman...my daughter is really interested in computers and video games and Spelman has a world-class robotics team.
"The SpelBots made history in 2005 as the first all-female, all African-American undergraduate team to qualify and compete in the International RoboCup four-legged robot soccer competition. In another history-making moment, the Spelbots tied for first place in the RoboCup Japan 2009 Standard Platform League Nao League humanoid soccer championship. The SpelBots also visited Washington, D.C., to attend an Education Technology Showcase to demonstrate their robots to U.S. senators and the director of the National Science Foundation. Spelman was one of 21 schools, and the only historically Black college or university, selected to showcase their technology." (http://www.spelman.edu/academics/majors-and-programs/computer-science/spelbots-robotics-team)
2 months, 2 weeks ago on Latest Foot-In-Mouth Cuisine Highlights How the BC Blames Black Women for Everything.
@SirLoinDeBeef @Law Wanxi
Hey, you guys! I've been around, just been real quiet. Working full-time at one job; I just got a promotion and I'll be starting the new position with the same employer on Monday. I'm preparing to apply for a joint degree program--MBA/MSW--which enrolls next year. I've been dating but that's been going horribly so I've refocused my energies on work/school stuff/family.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the only historically black college my daughter would be allowed to attend is Spelman. The end.
This is such an awesome comment. I've been coming back to it and reading it again and again over the last few days.
2 months, 3 weeks ago on So…Street Harassment is Important Now That White Women Are the Focus?
Thanks SirLoin and EarthJeff! I've missed yall too. I still read all the time, I just haven't been commenting nearly as much.
3 months, 1 week ago on Listen Ladies! If You’re Going to Complain About How “Black Men Hate You” While Scoffing at Expanding Your Options…Then You’re Just Begging.
I can't take another black women lamenting the fact that random black men who don't even know her care nothing about her. I tried to read her article, really, I did. I read the first paragraph--I'm guessing she is NOT married to the BLACK MALE father of her child?????--and then I started to speed read and then finally my eyes glazed over and I couldn't finish it. Doing your best Harpo routine--"Until you do right by me, black man, ain't nothing you do gone ever turn out right!"--hasn't been working for black women thus far, so why would it work now?
I just CANT with these women anymore.
I'm broke than a joke right now, but as soon as I get paid I'm making a donation. Geez, I guess it would be too easy for people to just leave the FB page if they don't like what's being said there, but that must be too much like right to make sense to them.
3 months, 2 weeks ago on Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War.
I took the test and it turns out I'm anxious--something that I already knew. My relationships have mostly been with--surprise!--avoidants. I requested this book at the library but my most recent act of "acting out" with someone I really like occurred before the book arrived, so I ordered it on Amazon this last week, got it in the mail yesterday. So far so good.
It's funny that you wrote about this book, Leona, because I've been spending the last few weeks really working on my anxious tendencies. I'm also reading The Mindful Way Through Anxiety by Orsillo and Roemer.
Another good review of the book (http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2014/06/11/relationshipstrategies/avoid-this-attachment-style-in-dating/). The comments are informative too.
3 months, 4 weeks ago on Leona’s Love Quest: Is Your Attachment Style Hindering Your Chance at Love?
Glad to see you too, onmywayup!
I missed the community. :)
4 months, 2 weeks ago on “Did This White Guy Use Me for Sex?” Yeah; Probably. But Not Because You’re Black.
You know what the easiest way is to tell what a man wants from you? Just ask him. I've found that when I just come right out and ask a man what he's looking for, 99% of them have been honest and told me the truth. I think that oftentimes we women don't ask because we already know the guy isn't looking for more, but as long as we don't come right out and put the question on the table we can continue to delude ourselves.
Remember, if you're afraid to come right out and ask a man where you stand with him then rest assured that you already know what answer he's going to give you--you just don't want to hear it.
And change starts with you. Ask yourself why you are willing to settle for so little. I'm re-reading an excellent book about dating right now, "Boundaries In Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. The book is a Christian title but you can modify it for your own needs, just ignore the stuff that is particular to Christianity.
@Statuesque I need to print this out and keep it with me.
Her booty could be better. But I'm super envious of her abs.
6 months, 3 weeks ago on Caption This. ESPN, The Body Issue.
@Christelyn @tmitmi3344 And I have yet to meet the man who wants a crazy, ugly, unsuccessful woman with a bunch of kids.
8 months, 1 week ago on She’s Beautiful. She’s Successful. She’s Childless. She’s Not Crazy. So Why Is Misee Harris Single?
@kiki100 "So married black women are living alone now? "
I've read stats on this before. A not insignificant number of married black people are actually separated--legally and not legally-- and living in separate homes. Blacks have lower marriage rates and higher divorce rates than other groups, and since most couples stop living together before the divorce is actually finalized its not surprising that many "married" people are actually single.
9 months ago on Femininity Series Part II: Why Black Women Aren’t Happier When They’re Pregnant
@TexasGurl "And let's not start talking about what negativity means when you go into labor. It just means the experience is going to be the worst ever...."
I really wish I could find it now, but a long time ago I read a post written by a white feminist who talked about her birth experience and how wonderful it was, but she also saw many single women in the hospital who didn't seem very happy at all, they didn't seem supported and encouraged. The feminist said that she was sure that the negative way these women were feeling pre- and during birth had a negative effect on the babies they gave birth to.
@Shaylah "... it seems that Black women have to look for daycare and work full time and get very little support from the father and his side of the family. "
This is very true. Sometimes the mother of the father feels that the baby's mother has trapped her son by getting pregnant, and so the grandmother now resents the baby's mother.
I had an interesting conversation a few weeks ago with a coworker, and she said that a black man who was a member of the black panthers told her that black women don't want to see their blacks sons treat another black women well. These black women that the Black Panther spoke of said that black women have so much self-hatred that they would often rather see their son treat a non-black woman well than to see that son treating a black woman well. These women weren't treated well by the men who fathered their children and now they don't want to see another black woman--even if that black woman is the mother of their grandbaby--being treated better than they were. The stuff that my coworker was telling me this Black Panther said to her about the psyche of black women was some really deep stuff.
Also, when two people aren't married the father's side of the family may have little to no contact with the baby's mother before or after the conception. I've known of several instances of black men telling me that they were just having sex with a woman and she got pregnant and decided to keep it; there was no real relationship, just sex. Obviously, a man who feels as if a woman trapped him isn't likely to warmly welcome said woman into his family or encourage his other family members to welcome her either.
There are no victims here. V. Stiviano has been messing around with this man for the last 3-4 years; she knew full well he was racist. And she kept messing around with his racist behind because he was giving her expensive gifts and money (around $1.5 million in gifts and cash, if the account of Sterling's wife is accurate). This is only coming out now because Stiviano finally got tired of his old behind and now she's ready to get herself another sugar daddy, preferably a lot younger one, and start using that one for money too.
9 months, 1 week ago on My Thoughts About Donald Sterling and His Wish to Erase His Girlfriend’s Identity
This cover means that she definitely has some new projects (i.e., movies) she'll be working on in the coming year. There was a question of what movie execs were going to do with her--what type of roles would she get, if there any roles for her at all. There's no way People would have put her on the cover unless Lupita was going to be making some big announcements in the coming weeks. Chimamanda Adichie has already said Lupita is going to somehow be involved in the movie adaption of the book "Americanah." And there have been hints about a role in the next Star Wars.
9 months, 1 week ago on YES! Lupita N’Yongo Is People’s Most BEAUTIFUL PERSON of the Year!!!!
I say do whatever works for you. Prayer is great--if it makes you feel better and that's all you need--but medication is great too, if you need it for your problem.
Rick Warren's son committed suicide. Warren had this to say in a letter after his son's death, “In spite of America’s best doctors, meds, counselors, and prayers for healing, the torture of mental illness never subsided. Today, after a fun evening together with Kay and me, in a momentary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.”
This young man had the best of everything available to him and yet it still wasn't enough to stop him from killing himself.
9 months, 3 weeks ago on Founder of “For Brown Girls,” and Advocate for US, Karyn Washington Committed Suicide, and I Suck.
"As I posted below this thing is being blown all out of proportion for political gain. Feigned outrage...."
10 months, 1 week ago on My Take on the Jamilah Lemieux Liberal vs. Conservative Kerfuffle
I'm on Jamilah's side.
I don't see anything wrong with her telling Raffi she didn't care to hear anything he had to say. My time and energy is not "equal opportunity," I choose who I want to spend time with, respond to, and listen to, and sometimes, especially when I'm discussing a specific topic with specific people, I'm not interested in what the other side has to say.
I wouldn't go to a meeting of Orthodox Jews and demand that they hear me out. I'm not an Orthodox Jew and thus my opinion is irrelevant at their meeting.
Has the RNC ever had a caucus or rally and made sure half the speakers were Democrats or Progressives?
There is a time and a place for diversity of thought, that time and place does not exist at all times and in all places and with whomever you happen to be speaking to.
Furthermore, by just looking at an avatar it would be easy to see how a light-skinned black person or mixed race person who identifies as black could be mistaken for a white person.
@temple Not surprised at all by her personal story. I know someone who had a baby less than a year ago. Someone else started to tell me about how this person is having trouble with her baby's daddy and his other baby momma--I just cut the conversation short because its a story I've heard too many times, I don't care to hear it anymore.
My daughters father married his other child's mother while I was still pregnant. He called me up and told me after he had done it. So I know how devastated Jamilah must have felt.
Hence, why I tell any woman/girl to put yourself and your needs first. Men will drag you along as long as they are getting what they want and drop you like a hot potato the second they find another option. Men put themselves first and women should too.
@Msundrstood There is a love affair with Lupita right now because there is literally ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEGATIVE THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT HER. NOTHING.
Good family background? Check.
No drama or other baggage? Check
I was thinking the other day about why Gabrielle Union is starting to irk me so much. It's because Gabby, for all her education and wisdom that should have come with age, still doesn't behave age-appropriately and often comes off as desperate when talking about her initial decision to date D. Wade. Jennifer Lawrence can get away with saying ridiculous things because she's young and has a high school diploma and so now people give her latitude to be goofy. Lupita has two degrees and is in her early 30's--trying to come off like JLaw wouldn't play well for her and she would end up looking as ridiculous as GUnion now sounds.
10 months, 3 weeks ago on In Case You Missed It: Me, Gina from WAOD, and Dr. Yaba Blay Weigh in on the Supposed “Lupita Fetish”
I also want to say that I agree with what Christelyn said on the show about Marc's heart being in the right place and him having good intentions. I STILL believe "fetish" was a poor choice of word and that his use of that word really revealed his/other peoples feelings of confusion about the media's crowing of Lupita as the latest It Girl.
When a cousin tells you to "stay out of the sun so that you don't get any darker," that cousin, in their mind at least, has good intentions. When a black man tells a dark-skinned black woman that she's "pretty for a dark-skinned girl," I'm sure that in his mind he honestly, truly believes that he is paying said woman a compliment. The problem here is that many, if not most, black people have been infected with negative beliefs and attitudes towards dark skin while not even knowing or truly understanding that said beliefs and attitudes are actually harmful ( to black women, specifically) and counterproductive (to black people in general).
"Go back ten years, and she's drawn darker."
Yep. Images of her became lighter and lighter over the years, which, unfortunately, isn't the least bit surprising.
The original images of Storm portray a very dark-skinned woman.
10 months, 3 weeks ago on Move Over, Halle–Lupita Up for the Role of X-Men’s “Storm?”
I don't think that many people are used to the idea that a dark-skinned black woman can be fawned over and praised for her beauty. There is this desire to talk about what else the woman does, there is this refusal to allow her to be a pretty face, this desire to make it seem as if the woman in question really did earn her praise for doing something other than just being pretty.
I even think that Dr. Yaba Blay did the very thing I'm critiquing. Dr. Blay seemed suspicious of the praise that Lupita is getting for her beauty--the Dr. was saying that the conversation needs to be directed away from Lupita's beauty and redirected towards all the things she has done to earn her success.
There is a difference between saying that someone is just a pretty face and between praising someone for their beauty while still acknowledging that the person has talent and other positive qualities.
I just chuckled when Marc said that W Kamau Bell's status as a black man being married to a white woman gave Bell some sort of unique or special perspective on black women's beauty.
"My comments were more on the content of the article rather than the sources which you have quoted,..."
That's why I clearly wrote, and I quote, "A couple of things were left out in the article."
This article did not detail the entire history of the Storm character.
I agree that before saying Storm went back to Egypt the author should have first noted that Storm grew up in Egypt, since many readers are obviously not familiar with Storms history.
"I also note that she would have likely had an Arabic dialect/accent rather than an African one, I didn't mention colours anywhere (did not say black)"
You should brush up on the history of this character. First of all, Storm is a FICTIONAL character. Many of the places where she supposedly lived are totally fictional as well. Storm was, in the comics, Queen of Wakanda. Wakanda is a fictional place in a fictional northeastern part of Africa.
"Wakanda is a fictional nation in the Marvel Universe. It is the most prominent of several fictional African nations in the Marvel Universe. Wakanda is located in Northeastern Africa, although its exact location has varied throughout the nation's publication history: some sources place Wakanda in East Africa, just north of Tanzania, while others - such as Marvel Atlas #2 - show it bordering Lake Turkana, near Somalia, Kenya andEthiopia (and surrounded by fictional countries like Azania, Canaan and Narobia). Wakanda first appeared in Fantastic Four #52 (July 1966), and was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The name is evocative of the Wakamba tribe of Kenya."
If memory serves me correctly, the fictional African countries also had Arabic speaking populations.
@KawaiiCutie Halle Berry will be the next Storm in Days of Future Past, which hasn't even come out yet, so even if Lupita is cast in the role it will be several years before a movie is made.
Also, characters get re-cast all time. How many different Batman's have there been? Spock was recast in the recent Star Trek movies, just like virtually all of the other characters. People get old; actors get old. If you want to re-do a movie and introduce it to a new audience that may have never even seen the originals then you have to cast new actors. Halle can't be 60 years old still playing 25-year old Storm.
@Sunnykin "Just a bit of clarification for geographically challenged people... not trying to be a smart guy here but you know what I'm saying...."
A couple of things were left out in the article.
Ororo Munroe, also known as Storm, is the descendant of an ancient line of African priestesses, all of whom have white hair, blue eyes, and the potential to wield magic. Born Ororo Munroe, her mother, N'Daré, was the princess of a tribe in Kenya, who married the American photojournalist, David Munroe, and moved with him to Manhattan, where Ororo was born.
When Ororo was six months old, she and her parents moved to Cairo, Egypt and, at the age of five, a plane crash destroyed their home. Ororo's parents were killed, but she survived..."
So Ororo was born in the US, moved to Egypt with her family--who died--and lived there until she left and eventually returned. The character was created in the 1970's and thus there have obviously been a lot of twists and turns in terms of her history.
"Further, if she went to Egypt and developed a local accent it would more than likely be an Arabic dialect rather than an African one....Egypt is largely Arabic though it is in Africa."
I'm not sure about this one either. Ororo was adopted after her parents death. I'm not sure the comics characterize the man who adopted her as a black African who spoke one of the many languages from a black African tribe/ethnic community (and also spoke Arabic). But obviously, if she was raised in Egypt she would have almost certainly learned to speak/read Arabic fluently.
I can see Lupita in this role, too.
Not long after Lupita won and 12 Years started racking up awards someone told me about how all the black men associated with the film were with white women and one guy (the screenwriter) was with an Asian woman. I said so what? Fassbender has dated numerous women of color (several of whom were black) and that McQueen has consistently given black women desirable roles, sometimes having to fight for a black women to get that role. Well apparently this person felt like putting black women in movie roles where they can be seen as desirable women or in a role where they win an Academy Award is not enough--the true test of how you feel about black women is whether or not you are sleeping with one. So, sexing black women is being supportive of them, but putting black women in major film roles where they win awards, make money, advance their careers, and end up being seen by millions of eligible men is NOT being supportive of them. OK.
I've liked McQueen from the beginning. He's an amazing director and when he and Fassbender get together magic happens.
11 months ago on Judge Not An Ally By Their Skin Color or Whom They Marry…Support is an Action
@Seenyc That song has become my jam! And yes, Lupita WON!!! I was waiting for that category and when I heard her name I jumped up and threw my hands in the air. Her acceptance speech was so lovely.
11 months ago on The “Brown Girl” Academy Awards…Who Took the Show?
@zipporah Before we start the Bobby Brown bashing, lets not forget that it was her BROTHER who got Whitney starting using cocaine. She might have gone downhill faster once she and Bobby starting rolling together, but she was already on her way in the wrong direction by the time he came into the picture.
11 months, 1 week ago on Oh Sh!t…Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce!
" Well in fairness, they had been dating since they were teens."
That's what makes this so sad IMO. I thought these two would be able to stick it out through thick and thin because they had known each other for so long and appeared to be so in love all the time. Wow.