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@ChocolateDiva I've heard similar things. I once had a neighbor at a condo me and hubby owned after we got married. She was around my age--28 at the time. She was raising a son and the father didn't want much to do with him. The mother was in college when she got pregnant, and guess how? He ADMITTED TO POKING HOLES IN THE CONDOM. Yes; he did that. People think this stuff is soooo far fetched; it's not. Many of these men have little value for life, and little understanding of fatherhood. These men are totally evil.

3 hours, 44 minutes ago on Stay Away from Sociopathic Men Who Wish to Corrupt and Shackle You Via Single Motherhood!

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@leduxe "So I'm curious...what are your thoughts on guys like me who don't want kids of my own or someone else's?"


There's plenty of women out there for you. More and more women are choosing to be childless. No real worries there.

19 hours, 24 minutes ago on Stay Away from Sociopathic Men Who Wish to Corrupt and Shackle You Via Single Motherhood!

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@ncatina We are the exact same age!

1 day, 1 hour ago on TBT: It’s…………… SOUL……….TRAIN…………..!

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OMG Tracy I'm LOVING you for this!!! 

1 day, 1 hour ago on TBT: It’s…………… SOUL……….TRAIN…………..!

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@BebaBrook Oh I see it a lot. A LOT. And yes; "Swirling" was written ESPECIALLY for you. 

1 day, 7 hours ago on Here’s Another Rainbeau Who Just Came Out of Lurkdom

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@mzsunshine I roast in my toaster oven. That way the house still stays cool.

1 day, 8 hours ago on How Roasting Makes Everything Better.

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@BreannaNouveaux " being the genesis to our exodus."


I LOVE THAT!!!

1 day, 18 hours ago on Here’s Another Rainbeau Who Just Came Out of Lurkdom

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Okay can the lady in charge chime in? Alright, so I read through Mr. Tango's advice, and minus all the, uh...extra, his advice is pretty spot on. I research online dating and behaviors because it is essential to my work, so the basic "nuts and bolts" of this is basically gold. Okay; you might not like the "playa" vibe, but if you can sheer that bravado away and look at the essence of the message, you no doubt might get some value. I remember when I first came on the scene, and my style of writing--mostly irreverent with a dash of humor--really, REALLY put some "purists" off. They thought I was too cavalier, that I didn't give proper homage to the BWE goddesses on Mount Olympia. Whatever. People might not always like my delivery, but my core message is pretty solid. I say give Mr. Tango a chance, and if you REALLY hate it, click on one of my gardening posts. Greenery is often soothing to the, uh...savage soul. ;-)

1 day, 20 hours ago on Ask a White Guy: The Online Dating Quandary

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@Law Wanxi "Hotep" is an Egyptian king/god militant black men swear they're descended from. He's the latest black power mascot.

2 days, 9 hours ago on (Bonus) QOTW: “How Can I Talk About My Culture with My White Boyfriend?”

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@Matthew_LA @Christelyn I'm going to try and not hold it against you that you like Lil Wayne and NWA. #jussaying

2 days, 18 hours ago on QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”

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@Matthew_LA I'm loving how you're just jumping in and chatting with everyone. I hope you're feeling better about things, and know you have a supportive community here for you. XO

2 days, 18 hours ago on QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”

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@Alannah I call myself a chocolate girl. Am I fetishizing myself?

3 days, 8 hours ago on QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”

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Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys! I love hearing what you all think about the people who live in my head. LOL...I had such a good time producing this, and I hope that I'm soon inspired again with another series of skits. Any suggestions of other lame things people way to try and hold you back?

3 days, 20 hours ago on Video: Sh$t Black People Say to Black Women to Keep Them Stuck in the Matrix

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@The Working Home Keeper @RhondaSpeights I absolutely LOVE you in this picture. You look so timelessly beautiful!

3 days, 23 hours ago on The Importance of Little Mystery: Would You Click On Me?

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@The Working Home Keeper You can start these right away. Even on seedlings.

1 week, 3 days ago on The Secret to Growing HUGE Produce in an Organic Garden

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@Brenda55 @Christelyn  @Lisa_Lisa Had I been seeking affirmation from these males, I would have been that girl. And then, imagine the position your light skinned girlfriend is in. Now these males have created divisiveness between black women. But we're not allowed to talk about that, huh? That's why I build this. Nobody can shut this convo down. We're having it, as often as necessary for black women to wake up and SEE.


1 week, 5 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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@kevjon Nobody is discounting colorism of black males, or if black women also don't subscribe to this dysfunction. In fact, I've covered that angle before. But we're talking about THIS example. So THIS is what we're talking about on THIS thread. 

1 week, 5 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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@Brenda55 @Lisa_Lisa Sometimes I feel like this complaint is just another way to shut down and silence a very relevant, very painful, and very REAL issue that still effects black women. We talk about this because it affects the psyches of black girls and women!! Why is that so hard to understand??? I'm sorry, but I have three daughters. I want them, and my other "e-daughters" to be ARMED with KNOWLEDGE, not denial. 

1 week, 5 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?

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@Daisy_inthe_Field

@Brenda55 

I've learned that the more fruits and vegetables I eat (especially detoxifying greens) the less cravings I have for processed foods. It took some time, but I don't really eat that stuff at all anymore. 

2 weeks ago on Could You Be a Vegetarian Until Dinnertime?

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I'm so glad you guys find this posts helpful. I want BB&W to be more than just a place to get news and celebrity gossip and WTF news. I love that this is building a community. Can you all do me a favor? Please share this blog with your friends and family. The more readers we get, the better able I am to bring on staff, writers, ideas and resources to you. 

2 weeks ago on You Tube Star, Chescaleigh Talks Making a Plan and the Timeline Project

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@BreannaNouveaux @friendswmimi I find that, while it works out for some women, I think most of the time, pursuing the guy just doesn't work out. You play "the man" for the whole relationship. If they go for it, it just seems like they're passive and lazy, not planning or initiating anything. 

2 weeks ago on #OnlineDating Success…She Made the First Move.

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@Justme65 @Christelyn  @dani-BBW @bellechose In most cases, yes. But I can't deny some women have success with making the first move.

2 weeks ago on #OnlineDating Success…She Made the First Move.

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@dani-BBW @bellechose Yeah...hubby messaged me first. ;-)

2 weeks ago on #OnlineDating Success…She Made the First Move.

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@onmywayup @Christelyn WONDERFUL! I'm so happy you decided to do it.

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Ready to Flee to Freedom? Tips to Get You on Your Way…

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@onmywayup Wow...what did you do?

2 weeks, 1 day ago on Ready to Flee to Freedom? Tips to Get You on Your Way…

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Wow the stories just keep piling in. This from the BB&W FB fan page...


"Hi!! I figured I'd tell the rest of my story (about family being jealous of stable relationships) here because it's pretty crazy. My sister and I have been dealing with this for a LONG time. Our mother is so bitter it's like she resents us for turning out Ok in life. I've been on my own since I joined the military when I was 19. She is critical of EVERYTHING. And it is so obvious she is seething with jealousy. But then again she grew up with a mother like Mommy Dearest so I guess shit rolled down hill.

Her resentment for my happiness has manifested in crazy ways....here's a few examples (grab popcorn ha!)... she has made up lies saying I was gay (lol), she has told her sister in law (whom I've been close to since a kid) I smoke METH!! ( I've never touched that crap in my life!!!). She has tried to stir up crap at the awesome church I was going to back home in Hawaii before I moved to TX by saying to a lady who was head of CPS that I beat my kids.... (she later pulled me aside one Sunday and told me what my mom said!!) and since my pastor and I were tight (he would council me about my mom) he kicked them (her and her 3rd husband) out. She has sent NASTY emails to my current boyfriend.... it was getting so bad that he wouldn't tell me because It was so upsetting to me. She has went through my friends list on FB and started adding MY people...so she could send them worry some emails saying to pray for me because my life is in danger..... (it's not smh). But the craziest crap she did in spite of me is....BEFRIEND MY (alcoholic) EXHUSBAND (who I left 10 YEARS ago.) on FB!!!!! and when I tried to get answers on why she would do such a thing she laughed in my face (over the phone), and told me to "GET OVER IT". I cussed her out for that one!!!! She only met him ONE TIME.... we were only married 1 yr...( I was young and dumb, wanted a family of my own since I didn't have a functioning one). Every so often I reach out to her...I have two awesome kids, and if anything you would THINK she would want to keep in touch with them!!! NOPE..!!! My daughter made the Honor Roll....all A's & B's... my mother didn't even say to my daughter "good job". I'm in school for Radiology.. and should graduate end of next year... my mom hasn't even said.... "I'm proud of you". I had to eventually block her on FB and so did my man, because she was harassing both of us AND would go through our friends list and add random people of ours (people she has NEVER MET!!!!!) I'm very close to my dad and that helps with the pain of my mom. I am also very close to my man's parents who live up the road from us.... I love them like their my own blood and they love me and my kids just the same. My man is the 3rd generation of men who have taken care of other men's kids (my bf's dad adopted my mans older (half) brother....my mans grandpa adopted his dad...and my man plans to adopt my kids once we get married). So although I don't have a mom who shows any love.... I found love through my kids and my man and his wonderful family.... maybe I'll write a book one day lol."

2 weeks, 2 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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@Geekette221B @Christelyn see now I want to punch your father in the face. 

2 weeks, 2 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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Reading these stories...part of me is infuriated. As a mom, I just couldn't imagine doing this to my four kids. I have three daughters, and I want the absolute best for them in all ways--relationships, education, career, family. I was raised by an emotionally immature, narcissistic mother who gave me little affection. It was so shitty, why would I want my own kids to feel that way? I just don't understand parents who intentionally inflict pain on their kids. I just don't.

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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@Geekette221B Oh my...what the Hell...your FATHER calls you a HOOKER?!

2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”

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@Keyasha Pisses me off how people are so attention hungry they try to derail a thread. It's so damn rude.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Keyasha Keyasha, I'm actually disappointed in you. First, I have never, EVER said black men were the cause of everything wrong in the community. And obviously you've never heard of my campaign, No Wedding No Womb, in which I address that responsibility for our OOW rate falls on men and women. I guess you also didn't see my post on Eric Garner. All these things are right here in front of your face, easy to access, and STILL you believe what you do. That's why I'm not going to waste time defining and defending myself, because it's obvious you already believe what you want despite evidence to the contrary.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@BeautyIAM @DanielleYay @KayJacks Ditto. These fools come up in here, too LAZY to just scroll a few pages to see what I and this site is about, then demand I write essays to them about how I don't hate black men. I ain't. 

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@KayJacks @DanielleYay She's a plant, Kay. She's been send here by the We-Hate-Black-Women-Cuz-They-Ain't-Shit crew.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@DanielleYay @Keyasha Danielle, I'm not going to answer you. The tone of your note tells me a lot about who you are. You've already made your mind up about this site--and you basically want to waste my time running in circles to defend myself so you can get a good laugh. I encourage anyone else who feels this way to leave the blog. I don't have time to convince trolls I don't hate black men, and again, stop wasting my time. I am not here for you. BTW, you sound like a black man. Either that's what you are, or you're here to put your cape on for them. Either way, I AGAIN am not here for you.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@bellechose @CassieM12345 Actually I am too. It makes it harder and harder for NBABM women to stay in denial.

2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Yorkshireman in Michigan

"Do you think he will stay with his girlfriend who he "loves" ( don't make me laugh ) if a light skinned or hispanic  girl comes along ?"

My guess is no. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@LorMarie Not dateable...REGARDLESS OF CHARACTER. That's what struck me the most. It didn't matter how nice she was, how meek or docile, how well she could cook or raise children or be a good wife, NOTHING. So all this bullshit about how if black women "acted better" black men wouldn't be rejecting them is a LIE.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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By the way, the interviewer, Marcus, is a true gentleman. He could date one of my three girls with my full approval. Been chatting with him on Google+

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Nicolaempress @Keioni It's really easy for us enlightened women to brush this off, but you guys don't get the notes from young girls and women like I do. You don't know the half of it. There's still a lot of work to be done.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Nikki Alecia @Christelyn But if you really listen to him, this man kinda hates himself. He doesn't come off as particularly confident or self assured. I'll put money on it that he was raised without a father too. That's part of the problem as well...too many black boys raised without fathers are rudderless. Many simply lack honor. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@_Toni_ @Nikki J Didn't you just want to throw up in your mouth when dude who despised dark skin said he thought black is beautiful?! What a freeking joke! But hey, the Black Panthers were notorious for this mentality too.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Nikki Alecia It should only bother you if you think that's all you have to choose from. If I thought that, it would bother me greatly. Many black girls and women truly believe this is their only choice. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Keioni Honestly, the guy being interviewed is delusional if he thinks he's light skinned. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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@Nikki J The problem is, how do you "surround yourself" with intelligent and supportive people when some of the folks are BORN into this bullshit? This is insidious. Not until you are an adult and independent can you truly disengage from the toxicity. 

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.

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Take a look at this. NYPD is at it AGAIN. Dragged a naked woman out of her apartment, put her in a chokehold and she passed out, no one covered her nakedness for two minutes, four-year-old, YES FOUR-YEAR-OLD, sprayed with pepper spray. WHAT THE PHUCK! http://newsone.com/3042030/nypd-drag-naked-woman-from-apartment-leave-her-passed-out-on-the-floor/?omcamp=sf_N1FB

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Eric Garner: He Was Murdered. Definitively.

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@International_Responder I was completely disgusted at how the EMT's treated this dying man. They could give absolutely no craps about him, and it was obvious.

2 weeks, 5 days ago on Eric Garner: He Was Murdered. Definitively.

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