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@ChocolateDiva I've heard similar things. I once had a neighbor at a condo me and hubby owned after we got married. She was around my age--28 at the time. She was raising a son and the father didn't want much to do with him. The mother was in college when she got pregnant, and guess how? He ADMITTED TO POKING HOLES IN THE CONDOM. Yes; he did that. People think this stuff is soooo far fetched; it's not. Many of these men have little value for life, and little understanding of fatherhood. These men are totally evil.
3 hours, 44 minutes ago on Stay Away from Sociopathic Men Who Wish to Corrupt and Shackle You Via Single Motherhood!
@leduxe "So I'm curious...what are your thoughts on guys like me who don't want kids of my own or someone else's?"
There's plenty of women out there for you. More and more women are choosing to be childless. No real worries there.
19 hours, 24 minutes ago on Stay Away from Sociopathic Men Who Wish to Corrupt and Shackle You Via Single Motherhood!
@ncatina We are the exact same age!
1 day, 1 hour ago on TBT: It’s…………… SOUL……….TRAIN…………..!
OMG Tracy I'm LOVING you for this!!!
@BebaBrook Oh I see it a lot. A LOT. And yes; "Swirling" was written ESPECIALLY for you.
1 day, 7 hours ago on Here’s Another Rainbeau Who Just Came Out of Lurkdom
@mzsunshine I roast in my toaster oven. That way the house still stays cool.
1 day, 8 hours ago on How Roasting Makes Everything Better.
@BreannaNouveaux " being the genesis to our exodus."
I LOVE THAT!!!
1 day, 18 hours ago on Here’s Another Rainbeau Who Just Came Out of Lurkdom
Okay can the lady in charge chime in? Alright, so I read through Mr. Tango's advice, and minus all the, uh...extra, his advice is pretty spot on. I research online dating and behaviors because it is essential to my work, so the basic "nuts and bolts" of this is basically gold. Okay; you might not like the "playa" vibe, but if you can sheer that bravado away and look at the essence of the message, you no doubt might get some value. I remember when I first came on the scene, and my style of writing--mostly irreverent with a dash of humor--really, REALLY put some "purists" off. They thought I was too cavalier, that I didn't give proper homage to the BWE goddesses on Mount Olympia. Whatever. People might not always like my delivery, but my core message is pretty solid. I say give Mr. Tango a chance, and if you REALLY hate it, click on one of my gardening posts. Greenery is often soothing to the, uh...savage soul. ;-)
1 day, 20 hours ago on Ask a White Guy: The Online Dating Quandary
@Law Wanxi "Hotep" is an Egyptian king/god militant black men swear they're descended from. He's the latest black power mascot.
2 days, 9 hours ago on (Bonus) QOTW: “How Can I Talk About My Culture with My White Boyfriend?”
@Matthew_LA @Christelyn I'm going to try and not hold it against you that you like Lil Wayne and NWA. #jussaying
2 days, 18 hours ago on QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”
@ShonShanee Oh I LOOOOOVE it!!!
3 days, 8 hours ago on The Importance of Little Mystery: Would You Click On Me?
@Alannah I call myself a chocolate girl. Am I fetishizing myself?
3 days, 8 hours ago on QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”
@NatashaYoung I love Leroy too...;-)
3 days, 20 hours ago on Video: Sh$t Black People Say to Black Women to Keep Them Stuck in the Matrix
Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys! I love hearing what you all think about the people who live in my head. LOL...I had such a good time producing this, and I hope that I'm soon inspired again with another series of skits. Any suggestions of other lame things people way to try and hold you back?
@The Working Home Keeper @RhondaSpeights I absolutely LOVE you in this picture. You look so timelessly beautiful!
3 days, 23 hours ago on The Importance of Little Mystery: Would You Click On Me?
@realblueblood LOL...gurl...that was a wig!
5 days, 7 hours ago on Video: Sh$t Black People Say to Black Women to Keep Them Stuck in the Matrix
@The Working Home Keeper You can start these right away. Even on seedlings.
1 week, 3 days ago on The Secret to Growing HUGE Produce in an Organic Garden
@Brenda55 @Christelyn @Lisa_Lisa Had I been seeking affirmation from these males, I would have been that girl. And then, imagine the position your light skinned girlfriend is in. Now these males have created divisiveness between black women. But we're not allowed to talk about that, huh? That's why I build this. Nobody can shut this convo down. We're having it, as often as necessary for black women to wake up and SEE.
1 week, 5 days ago on Blackistani Light Skinned Privilege: Aren’t You Glad You’re Free of It?
@kevjon Nobody is discounting colorism of black males, or if black women also don't subscribe to this dysfunction. In fact, I've covered that angle before. But we're talking about THIS example. So THIS is what we're talking about on THIS thread.
@Brenda55 @Lisa_Lisa Sometimes I feel like this complaint is just another way to shut down and silence a very relevant, very painful, and very REAL issue that still effects black women. We talk about this because it affects the psyches of black girls and women!! Why is that so hard to understand??? I'm sorry, but I have three daughters. I want them, and my other "e-daughters" to be ARMED with KNOWLEDGE, not denial.
I've learned that the more fruits and vegetables I eat (especially detoxifying greens) the less cravings I have for processed foods. It took some time, but I don't really eat that stuff at all anymore.
2 weeks ago on Could You Be a Vegetarian Until Dinnertime?
I'm so glad you guys find this posts helpful. I want BB&W to be more than just a place to get news and celebrity gossip and WTF news. I love that this is building a community. Can you all do me a favor? Please share this blog with your friends and family. The more readers we get, the better able I am to bring on staff, writers, ideas and resources to you.
2 weeks ago on You Tube Star, Chescaleigh Talks Making a Plan and the Timeline Project
@BreannaNouveaux @friendswmimi I find that, while it works out for some women, I think most of the time, pursuing the guy just doesn't work out. You play "the man" for the whole relationship. If they go for it, it just seems like they're passive and lazy, not planning or initiating anything.
2 weeks ago on #OnlineDating Success…She Made the First Move.
@Justme65 @Christelyn @dani-BBW @bellechose In most cases, yes. But I can't deny some women have success with making the first move.
@dani-BBW @bellechose Yeah...hubby messaged me first. ;-)
@onmywayup @Christelyn WONDERFUL! I'm so happy you decided to do it.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Ready to Flee to Freedom? Tips to Get You on Your Way…
@onmywayup Wow...what did you do?
Wow the stories just keep piling in. This from the BB&W FB fan page...
"Hi!! I figured I'd tell the rest of my story (about family being jealous of stable relationships) here because it's pretty crazy. My sister and I have been dealing with this for a LONG time. Our mother is so bitter it's like she resents us for turning out Ok in life. I've been on my own since I joined the military when I was 19. She is critical of EVERYTHING. And it is so obvious she is seething with jealousy. But then again she grew up with a mother like Mommy Dearest so I guess shit rolled down hill.
2 weeks, 2 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”
@Geekette221B @Christelyn see now I want to punch your father in the face.
Reading these stories...part of me is infuriated. As a mom, I just couldn't imagine doing this to my four kids. I have three daughters, and I want the absolute best for them in all ways--relationships, education, career, family. I was raised by an emotionally immature, narcissistic mother who gave me little affection. It was so shitty, why would I want my own kids to feel that way? I just don't understand parents who intentionally inflict pain on their kids. I just don't.
2 weeks, 3 days ago on “Help! My Mother is a Mammy, and Resents My Desire for a Nicer Life Than Hers!!”
@Geekette221B Oh my...what the Hell...your FATHER calls you a HOOKER?!
Thanks, mods. You did exactly what I was thinking.
2 weeks, 4 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.
@Keyasha Pisses me off how people are so attention hungry they try to derail a thread. It's so damn rude.
@Keyasha Keyasha, I'm actually disappointed in you. First, I have never, EVER said black men were the cause of everything wrong in the community. And obviously you've never heard of my campaign, No Wedding No Womb, in which I address that responsibility for our OOW rate falls on men and women. I guess you also didn't see my post on Eric Garner. All these things are right here in front of your face, easy to access, and STILL you believe what you do. That's why I'm not going to waste time defining and defending myself, because it's obvious you already believe what you want despite evidence to the contrary.
@BeautyIAM @DanielleYay @KayJacks Ditto. These fools come up in here, too LAZY to just scroll a few pages to see what I and this site is about, then demand I write essays to them about how I don't hate black men. I ain't.
@KayJacks @DanielleYay She's a plant, Kay. She's been send here by the We-Hate-Black-Women-Cuz-They-Ain't-Shit crew.
@DanielleYay @Keyasha Danielle, I'm not going to answer you. The tone of your note tells me a lot about who you are. You've already made your mind up about this site--and you basically want to waste my time running in circles to defend myself so you can get a good laugh. I encourage anyone else who feels this way to leave the blog. I don't have time to convince trolls I don't hate black men, and again, stop wasting my time. I am not here for you. BTW, you sound like a black man. Either that's what you are, or you're here to put your cape on for them. Either way, I AGAIN am not here for you.
@bellechose @CassieM12345 Actually I am too. It makes it harder and harder for NBABM women to stay in denial.
@Yorkshireman in Michigan
"Do you think he will stay with his girlfriend who he "loves" ( don't make me laugh ) if a light skinned or hispanic girl comes along ?"
My guess is no.
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Blatant Rejection of “Traditional” Looking Black Women. See for Yourself Why Expanding Your Options is Necessary.
@LorMarie Not dateable...REGARDLESS OF CHARACTER. That's what struck me the most. It didn't matter how nice she was, how meek or docile, how well she could cook or raise children or be a good wife, NOTHING. So all this bullshit about how if black women "acted better" black men wouldn't be rejecting them is a LIE.
By the way, the interviewer, Marcus, is a true gentleman. He could date one of my three girls with my full approval. Been chatting with him on Google+
@Nicolaempress @Keioni It's really easy for us enlightened women to brush this off, but you guys don't get the notes from young girls and women like I do. You don't know the half of it. There's still a lot of work to be done.
@Nikki Alecia @Christelyn But if you really listen to him, this man kinda hates himself. He doesn't come off as particularly confident or self assured. I'll put money on it that he was raised without a father too. That's part of the problem as well...too many black boys raised without fathers are rudderless. Many simply lack honor.
@_Toni_ @Nikki J Didn't you just want to throw up in your mouth when dude who despised dark skin said he thought black is beautiful?! What a freeking joke! But hey, the Black Panthers were notorious for this mentality too.
@Nikki Alecia It should only bother you if you think that's all you have to choose from. If I thought that, it would bother me greatly. Many black girls and women truly believe this is their only choice.
@Keioni Honestly, the guy being interviewed is delusional if he thinks he's light skinned.
@Nikki J The problem is, how do you "surround yourself" with intelligent and supportive people when some of the folks are BORN into this bullshit? This is insidious. Not until you are an adult and independent can you truly disengage from the toxicity.
Take a look at this. NYPD is at it AGAIN. Dragged a naked woman out of her apartment, put her in a chokehold and she passed out, no one covered her nakedness for two minutes, four-year-old, YES FOUR-YEAR-OLD, sprayed with pepper spray. WHAT THE PHUCK! http://newsone.com/3042030/nypd-drag-naked-woman-from-apartment-leave-her-passed-out-on-the-floor/?omcamp=sf_N1FB
2 weeks, 5 days ago on Eric Garner: He Was Murdered. Definitively.
@International_Responder I was completely disgusted at how the EMT's treated this dying man. They could give absolutely no craps about him, and it was obvious.