Bio not provided
I hope he doesn't mind, but since he tweeted to everyone that his letter was published, I thought you'd like to know what the REAL reader/writer looks like. Pretty cute, huh?
2 hours, 27 minutes ago on Writer Reads “Swirling,” and Is Overwhelmed with Tears. Find Out Why.
@Tempaccount Your comment was perfect.
1 day, 20 hours ago on #NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.
@JesseFactotum Thanks, Jesse. I'm working on it as we speak!
2 days, 10 hours ago on 99 Reasons Wheat and Sugar are Your Problem.
@BossaNovaKitten so it wasn't the buckwheat that made my heart race?? Must have been all the sugar in the almond milk...
3 days, 9 hours ago on 99 Reasons Wheat and Sugar are Your Problem.
@jdependance @Law Wanxi Yes and pay him no mind, girl. You can and will.
5 days, 2 hours ago on Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often Come First
Tell me, where else on the internet can black women get this kind of support with trolls oozing their way in to derail the conversation? It's times like these that make me so proud of the people here. People telling their stories, showing support. This is what's up ya'll! Special thanks the mods who keeps this place squeaky clean.
@Browncow @SacLove76 WHOA!!
@Law Wanxi @jdependance Law!! Ugh...I really truly believe you're not really interested in dating at all. If money gives you an orgasm and gives intimate comfort, cool. But most women aren't into that life. I still love you, though. :-)
@jdependance You'd better stop those tears right now. There are literally millions of men in the world, and there's MORE THAN ONE for you. But you'll have to reconcile that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea, as not every guy in the world is yours. You concentrate on being YOUR BEST SELF, and you will be impossible to ignore to the right man. Don't you dare snuggle up to your degree. Get it, but don't BE it. That defeatist attitude is what I'm fighting against. I'm at a conference, ya'll so I can't get all "mamma hen" so I'm expecting you all to address this young lady!
@trinigirl1 Thank you for being so honest. Someone who is going through the same challenge could be reading this right now. Hugs!
@Law Wanxi There you have it, ladies. Right from the source. The higher the generation, the less likely your Asian boyfriend's mom will threaten suicide if he wants to marry you.
THANK YOU! My birthday is 7/17.
She's looking because she's being a loving mother. She realizes that because of socioeconomics, one or more of her girls will consider dating interracially. I think it's lovely that she's wanting to understand. That's my kinda mommy. :-)
1 week ago on Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is
@Lemmmy12 Oh, and you're worried about little old me "separating" black people? Really? That's funny. Not fatherlessness, black-on-black violence, unreported sexual and domestic abuse, high unemployment, high incarceration rates, colorism, destructive glamorization of thug culture is all all good, but THIS BLOG is the catalyst to destroy black people?? Wow...
@Lemmmy12 Let me say this. Because I can see you're following me all over the internet with a bee in your bonnet. This is a passion for me because I'm a writer, and writers write abut what they know. I'm in an interracial relationship raising kids. When I was going through my courtship and marriage, I can't tell you how many times single black women asked me "how did you....him?" Because many were under the impression that non-black men were not interested in them. That, coupled with the FACT that black women are the least likely to marry, most likely to raise kids alone, and least likely to marry interracially (many due to the feeling that they can't) inspired the book I wrote, "Swirling" and this blog.
But what I really think is that you are not "concerned" at all. You are annoyed. You have a palpable contempt of my work, and the fact that it even exists bothers the hell out of you.
You lend absolutely no credibility whatsoever that you are involved in a "mixed relationship" as you put it, because I have found that women like you really don't want black women to be happily coupled with men of all races and of superior character. Women like you want to be "special snowflakes" and resent the idea that this movement will threaten your position.
You are not an ally, you are a hater, hiding behind concern.
There. You got your answer, although I owe you none.
Unapologetic Advocate for Black Women Choosing Character Above Color
And caller-outer of "special snowflakes"
Have a nice day!!
@Lemmmy12 MODS, let this stand.
@BeautyIAM I too have an issue with women who say that that their microscopic circle of black men are amazing, because it's almost like they lack all empathy for women who have different experiences. Hell, we're not making this stuff up!! Look at the stats! Everything we speak on is 100% backed up.
@Brenda55 Just like the black married father who wrote that note a while ago...being honest about his hesitation to accept his daughter's white boyfriend, but finally realized the situation and challenging dating climate for black women. That comes from a place of true, pure love.
@Nikki J OMG...you guys...you don't know how very much I appreciate hearing this!! The message that I'm trying to convey is coming through...and you HEAR. I could cry tears of joy at this moment. I'm serious. You guys have given me the BEST gift. A job, a vocation with MEANING. I love you for that. THANK YOU!!
@Tammy_Ghalden THose EMT's were AWFUL. They just stood there and did NOTHING. Like they didn't even want to touch him. DISGUSTING.
1 week ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.
@1lovelylolo It's not just black people who need to stand up for this. Everyone is vulnerable to this.
1 week, 1 day ago on Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.
@lumiereleclaire @dani-BBW @Savannah18121 My favorite winery is Ponte. There's a hotel and lots of places to meet. I've love it to be there!
1 week, 1 day ago on Feeling Lonely? Isolated? Use Social Media to Create Your “Circle of Support”
@Yorkshireman in Michigan Wait. WAIT!! Look at the two covers. Isn't this the SAME woman?! How this work?! Oh wait. But they are SISTERS. They are both dark, but the cover of "Black Men" bleaches the hell out of Serena.
1 week, 2 days ago on The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?
@lumiereleclaire I'd be open to it, for sure. I'd just need help with planning. Organizing thee events are pretty intensive.
1 week, 2 days ago on Feeling Lonely? Isolated? Use Social Media to Create Your “Circle of Support”
@GardenOfEden LOL...just for this blog I do! lol
1 week, 2 days ago on Open Thread: Does Being a Natural Make You Feel Like a Different Person?
@Lady Cheetah @BreannaNouveaux I also want to add, that 80% of the first born children of black women are born out of marriage, despite education and socio economics. This problem is going beyond poverty and low education, I'm afraid.
1 week, 4 days ago on (Bonus) QOTW: Black Women, Multiple Children, and Interracial Dating.
@Lady Cheetah "I think a black male who despises black women wrote this.'
Of course I can't say for certain, but I've honestly gotten similar emails for other black women that I can confirm legitimacy (lol no pun intended)
1 week, 5 days ago on (Bonus) QOTW: Black Women, Multiple Children, and Interracial Dating.
@Vivaforever Thank you! I'll do something again. I do have a specific skin care regimen for morning and night, I do take supplements, and most importantly I eat about 50% of the food I grow. This thing alone has made a major difference that even I notice lol
@bellechose You'd be surprised how much this theme comes up. This isn't the first time a woman has approached me with such a question.
@Daisy_inthe_Field No...I think this one is legit. I get a lot of notes like this writer. I usually respond to questions that I see a common theme from several letters.
1 week, 5 days ago on QOTW: White Guy, 51, Ready to Get His Swirl On…
@Brenda55 If that doesn't tell you all you need to know...
1 week, 5 days ago on Hey, Did You Know Hollywood Grades Black Women Just Like Color-racists Do? Truly WTF-iest Casting Call for “Straight Outta Compton” EVER
@JoyKaine I wouldn't know. But thanks for playing!
1 week, 5 days ago on Unspeakable! New Jersey Reporter Fired for Telling the DAMN TRUTH!
@chocolateadmiral Well good. I hope so. Tired of people being financially destroyed for telling the truth.
1 week, 6 days ago on Unspeakable! New Jersey Reporter Fired for Telling the DAMN TRUTH!
@Tammy_Ghalden I know it seems like that Tammy, and I take full responsibility for my bias. It is not that I'm rah-rah for the GOP--not even close. But what I've seen and go through in my own experience has been the hatred, low expectations, name calling, and even death threats from so-called "liberals" who are committed to seeing black people at the bottom, convinced that we can never be anything more. It has been liberals who have been the most hateful toward any speaking out of childlessness, not conservatives. And I go so hard on them because there was once a time that I really thought these people had our best interest at heart. Nope. They're just as power hungry, bigoted and partisan as all the other parties. I'm hard of them because I really don't see much difference between what both parties are capable of doing to people who don't agree with them.
@chocolateadmiral @Brenda55 @Christelyn @BWC Whatever ChocolateAdmiral. Tomorrow she says something you don't like or doesn't benefit you and she'll lose the title. Whateves....
@NubiaBlack @Christelyn Also, your Facebook is a shell. More evidence of your trolley-ness.
@NubiaBlack @Christelyn You only know MY digital trail. You know nothing about me except for what you read, troll. You don't know me, let's not pretend. I defended that guy because I know him personally. You're a troll, period. Not a supporter. Pretty obvious at this point.
@DWB @itsgoodtobeme HELL! EVEN A BLACK WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN A SINGLE MOTHER OF A BLACK CHILD CAN'T EVEN BRING IT UP!!!! WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?!! And yes, I'm all-capping.
@bellechose Is it at least minimum wage?? Are the benefits any good? dental? eye care?
Do you get weekends off or....??
@BWC EXACTLY. The man was FRUSTRATED. He could see the problem FIRST HAND, and the rampant aim to SILENCE the issue and he spoke up. This man isn't a racist...HE EFFING CARES. I'm so sick of people not recognizing the difference. This man is in the streets and KNOWs WTF is going on.
@NubiaBlack @Christelyn And GIRL, sit down. I support ALL folks who tell the truth about fatherlessness in the BC. But I'm not going to give a platform to men who have hoards of minions who hate my guts and literally call for my death. You're crazy. You can fight for those folks if you want to. I'm not the one.
@NubiaBlack @Christelyn My editorial has not changed. You have left TWO comments on this blog. TWO. Like I said, I don't stand in Dr. Umar's way. He has a plan, godspeed. I'm just not giving him and his minions a platform. I'm not paranoid. I know exactly the type of person you are. Been doing this too long, honey.
@darkandlovely @Christelyn Good for him. The truth of the matter is that it's never a "right" time. Anyone who speaks on this is demonized and punished. Myself included.
@NubiaBlack Oh, and Tommy Sotomayor also speaks out about fatherlessness but blames black women. Should I give him a platform too? How about the Black Authority? Tariq Nashid, too? Tell me, how many black-women-hating black men do I need to allow to step on my neck for folks to be satisfied? No one who calls me a negro bed wench is getting my time of day, @NubiaBlack you can just go one and scurry back to them and tell them, since I know you're just a plant.
@Soul_Incites And THAT'S why I know what this is. This ain't about a reporter "editorializing." This is a about someone who had the GUTS to tell the truth and is being silenced, like every other person EVER who has tried to speak up...Bill Cosby, Barack Obama...no one NO ONE is EVER good enough to speak on this, because folks simply just don't want to hear it.
@NubiaBlack Dr. Umar Johnson has a huge following of black men who have absolute utter contempt for the people on this site. I'll not provide a forum for anyone who has outright hate for me and mine, who call every black woman that doesn't cap for them a "negro bed wench" and puts 100% blame of the failure of the black family on black mothers. I'll not stand in his way of finding ways to address this problem, but I'll never be on the team. While we both agree about the issue of fatherlessness, he sees me and and anyone else on the forum as a race traitor. Thus, no discussion between us can be had.
For the people who think I'm "black men bashing" I've got a few things to say:
I just can't...a quick Google search..."Fatherlessness; gang activity; violence" and you will be FLOODED with statistical evidence supporting a connection. BUT! A news reporter points out the obvious and he deserves to be fired? This is why NO ONE can say ANYTHING about this. It's is because of these consequences NO ONE is EVER allowed to tell the truth. And why do we talk about this here? BECAUSE FATHERLESSNESS IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY ALSO GRAVELY AFFECTS BLACK WOMEN. It affects our safety, our relationship options, our emotional and spiritual well-being, I could go on and on. If you think that I'm bashing black men by saying BLACK FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT AND ESSENTIAL, then PHUCK YOU. You can't silence me. I work for myself.
My main issue is, NO ONE IS EVER ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING. NO ONE IS ACCEPTABLE TO TELL THE TRUTH. Everyone of prominence who does is shot down. How do I know, and why do I sympathize? SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I TRIED. No one, white, black or other is EVER allowed to say anything.
Here's is the quote that stands out to me: "“This same sick, perverse line of thinking is evident from Jersey City to Newark and Patterson to Trenton. It has made the police officer’s job impossible, and it has got to stop. The underlying cause for all of this, of course, young black men growing up without fathers. Unfortunately, no one in the news media has the courage to touch that subject,” he added."
Mass fatherlessness, gang activity are making the policeman's job impossible. This is true. Maybe he wasn't the right person to say it, but the problem is, NO ONE IS SAYING IT, AT ALL!!! No one is every ALLOWED to say it without scorn or financial ruin! THIS. IS. WRONG.
If we are arguing over whether or not the reporter crossed the line and editorialized, (like most reporters do on a regular on cable news stations) I might be persuaded that the newscaster should be disciplined. NOT FIRED. These people are human. They see senseless violence all day long and I'm sure this man had a moment of frustration. But is he wrong for saying the violence is heavily tied to gang affiliation and violence? Not in my opinion.
@ladyofmagic1974 I just wish I was as wise as I am, 20 years ago. Ah...things to happen in their good time. I'm just glad to be a part of the change I'm seeing.
2 weeks ago on It Started with Just a Few Voices, and Now a Cocophany: The Forces Speaking Up for Black Women Are Being Heard, and Some Folks are Scared
@LadyLittlefoot No...I think you can, but don't do it from seed...get a starter plant from the garden center.
2 weeks, 1 day ago on Watermelon in a Pot? Yaaaaaeeessss….