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@indiestar777 I look at it as a teaching moment.  In his case, he had been getting away with saying stupid things to BW and his wife wasn't even aware of what he was doing.  Both of them learned a lesson that day.  Also, I'm hard core.  There was no way I was letting some punk-a** b-word get over on me, particularly since my relationship was none of his business.  He thought he could bring it with no consequences.  Again, lesson shoved in his face.  Whether or not he learned remains to be seen but, at that moment, he got his and I was satisfied.

21 hours, 52 minutes ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!

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@PaoloP I agree with you.  I learned to shoot when I was a kid because my dad, who was a career Army officer, taught us all.  When I was in the Navy, I qualified as a sharpshooter.  Both my husband and I conceal carry.  We can do this in Virginia (where we live) and 37 other states because we are certified to do so and we have taken numerous classes, including a combat shooter class (which, if you are serious about weapons, I highly recommend).  We are members of a range so we practice on a regular basis.  My husband watches my back and I watch his.  Anyone comes at me with intent to harm does so at their peril.  Anyone comes into our house with intent to harm does so at their peril.  Before I would ever use my weapon, I would try everything to remove myself from the situation but if I can't, it's good to know I have options.  My brother is a lawyer and I have cards of lawyers who specialize in Second Amendment law.  Trust me, I would not be going to jail, no matter my skin color.

1 day, 22 hours ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!

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@PaoloP Oh, yes, he did.  Too bad he had to take his wife there too.  He probably came off as [b] so he could try to get some sympathy and stop his wife from screaming at him.

1 day, 22 hours ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!

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@MsEva Yes, he is sorry.  What was funny was he just couldn't help himself.  It never occurred to him to think he was a) married to a WW and b) I was going to get in his Kool-Aid.  I'm assuming that when he's done this before (and you can bet he has), BW let it go.  

1 day, 23 hours ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!

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I am so glad her man came to her rescue.  He is definitely the real man in this scenario and the BM should have been taking notes.  My advice to this lady is to develop a thick skin; these slut puppy BM are not worth the salt in her tears.  Unfortunately, it will probably happen again.  Some BM can't help themselves.  They are as bitter as an unripe persimmon and (wait for it) are not interested nor have ever been interested in a BW's happiness.  They have been telling us this through their thoughts and actions.  When we seek our own happiness, without them (which, BTW, is an individual's responsibility if they want to live a fulfilled life), they are angry because (again, wait for it) they do not have it in them to be happy or to seek enlightenment or self-actualization.  They just don't.


I have been married for a long time, to a WM.  I have heard things, been told things and I have dealt with it or my husband has dealt with it.  We don't take anything for granted and are ready if these delusional men think they want to get physical.  Thankfully, our sharp tongues wound enough.  Case in point:  My husband and I were at Costco, putting our stuff on a conveyer belt at a self-checkout.  Next to us was a BM with his WW wife (I assumed she was his wife as she was wearing a wedding ring but he wasn't).  When he had the opportunity, he said, sotto voce, "Traitor!"  I looked at him and asked in a very loud voice, "Who are you calling a traitor, dude?  I served my country, with distinction, for 22 years!  What have you done?"  Don stopped what he was doing and came over.  "What's going on?"  I told him what happened, still in a loud voice.  The BM's wife came over and said to him, "Why would you call a complete stranger a traitor?"  He tried to downplay it but I wasn't having it.  I told her he meant I was a race traitor because I had married a WM.  He didn't deny it but, again, tried to explain to her why he said it.  She started yelling at him, saying she was humiliated and demoralized.  She asked him what it made her since she was married to him.  He gave me a dirty look and I flipped him off.  Don just shook his head and said, "Son, you made a terrible mistake approaching my wife with that nonsense.  You're going to learn now."  That dude's wife was going off!  He looked like a the jerk he really was.  The other customers at Costco just looked at him and shook their heads.  Yes, his humiliation was complete and all because he couldn't keep his stupid thoughts to himself.

Again, to the writer, don't let it get you down.  You have pursued your own happiness and are not responsible to anyone but yourself.  Your hair is your own, your relationships are your own, you are your own person and no matter what people say, they cannot take that from you.  His opinion should mean nothing because you owe him nothing.  Be happy, keep your head held high and increase that confidence.  The best revenge is success and happiness.

2 days, 3 hours ago on Video: Sick of the Double Standards When Black Women Swirl!!!

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@Brenda55 Girl, believe me, you haven't missed anything.  All of my experiences were purely accidental or at the behest of the Navy.

5 days, 18 hours ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time

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@Brenda55 This is the clean version!  Don's additions were too horrible to add here.

5 days, 18 hours ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time

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@Law Wanxi Dead-on description! I could almost smell the miasma of Marlboros, fried bologna, oily hair, rotting vegetation, stale bourbon, a tinge of vomit and urine and a little weed along with other, unidentifiable, nasty scents.

5 days, 18 hours ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time

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@zipporah Yes, I knew that.  I read it somewhere, a long time ago.

6 days, 19 hours ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time

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Kid who?  As the late Leonard Nimoy's Mr. Spock would say, "Irrelevant."

6 days, 20 hours ago on Kid Rock (Crudely) Highlights How Preferences Can Change Over Time

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Wonderful post!  I'm copying it and sending it to my nieces.  I love being a Black woman.  I once had a boss who asked me why and I replied (paraphrasing a character from the movie, "Remo Williams"), "I love being a Black woman because we are the most perfect creatures to ever sanctify the Earth with the imprint of our foot."  It's my mantra and I'm sticking to it!

1 week, 1 day ago on Zara: Eight Reasons Why We Love Black Women

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To the troll BM who posted the double selfie of himself with his "goddess" WW: a huge yawn in your general direction, at the boring, trite, unimaginative and stereotypical rip off of Janet Jackson's Rolling Stones cover (yeah, you copied a BW, dude!).



Certainly not going to throw shade at the WW but what was the effing point?  The selfie was fuzzy, the room looked like it was in the Bates Motel and (just being truthful here), the woman was ordinary.  How am I supposed to be bitter over this?  All of these BM are boring as eff if the perceived bitterness of BW is all they have to talk about, Kanye included.  Seriously, is this all you think about in life? Are all of your actions geared towards how you can make BW more bitter? 


That's a sad life, particularly when so many BW aren't even aware you exist.  I, for one, am completely indifferent to your very existence. 


Do not care if you have 100 WW in a harem, wish Kanye good luck and Godspeed with his wife (though she needs to get him to a psychiatrist, stat, and on some of those wonderful psychotropic drugs!), am not interested in your written or oral treatises on BW and they certainly don't affect my life.  


Unless you are transgender and have been a BW, anything you say, is completely off my radar and in the ether.  My advice to you, though I know you won't take it, is to keep the selfies to, er, yourself, do your fantasy in the Bates Motel and go home.  It would be much more fun than getting on a blog that cares nothing about you, throwing your ineffectual bomb and watching it fizzle.  


BTW, I know I may be throwing around a lot of big words and it may be tough for you to understand but I always consider folks on my level until told otherwise.  If you don't understand some of those words, please go to www.dictionary.com.  If I have assumed, incorrectly, that you are less learned than you really are, you can blame it on your actions.  They are reminiscent of a four year old, screaming, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah... look what I got!"

1 week, 5 days ago on Kanye’s Comments About Amber Rose Highlights How White Women Are “Always” Virtuous No Matter How Skeezy Their Past.

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Such a gorgeous woman.  Thanks for the history!


3 weeks ago on Black Women in History: A Nineteenth Century Image of Black Beauty From Lima, Peru 

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I'm a Beck lover and thought he deserved the Grammy.  Also, I like it when an underdog comes out of nowhere to shut down the expected.  Even he was stunned.  He was cool and laid back about Kanye's idiocy so it is a win-win for him, in every way.  I will admit, however, I had a flash fantasy about Beck turning into the Hulk and slamming Kanye, repeatedly, against the floor, only to walk away, growling, "Puny God."

3 weeks, 3 days ago on Zac: “ I wish a muthaf#^%*a WOULD,” and Other Kanye West Observations

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@fleiter I was also born in 1959 and will be 56 in a few days.  My mom told me stories of what she and my father endured, even though my dad was in the military.  Though Truman integrated the services, even military bases showed bias.  When my dad and mom got to El Paso, Texas, where I was born, they were given two choices: live with the enlisted families or live off base.  My dad was an officer but could not live in officer housing.  By the time I was seven, I was in a segregated school, in California.  Yep.  Even Cali had it.  We lived in a new sub-division, in Gardena, which was hell and gone from the school to which I was bussed, in Compton.  Imagine being a second grader, in a school with the roughest, toughest kids ever.  It was an elementary school and kids were carrying knives!  Recess was a nightmare and, that year, my sister, identical twin Black girls (I still remember their names, Sheila and Sharon) and I hid out in the bathroom.  We got to know each other really well.  The playground was a mini 'hood and we were ill-equipped to deal with it.  When Dr. King was assassinated, there were riots in Compton and Watts.  On one particular day, we were quietly loaded onto buses and told to keep our heads down.  The bus driver had to drive defensively, around burning cars and other stuff in the street.  There were remnants of tear gas floating in the air.  The only prayers I knew, by memory, were The Lord's prayer and the 23rd Psalm.  I said them over and over.  It took us four hours to get home.  The next day, my parents pulled us out of that school and lied about our address to register us in an integrated school.


Because of all this, my mom started her rhetoric early.  "Don't ever bring a White boy into this house."  "You will be disowned if you ever get with a White man."  As a kid, I didn't get it so never questioned it but, by the time I was in high school, yeah, I questioned it.  I already knew my preference and, frankly, since I was a military brat and lived all over the world, I questioned how my parents could say that.  How could they raise us in one of the most integrated environments and then expect us to segregate ourselves?  Yeah, didn't happen. Obviously, my parents learned and grew.  My sister is married to a German man and I am married to Don.  My parents adapted and accepted.


I like Stan and truly believe it took a lot of courage for him to step forward like this.  He's well-educated, nice looking, and now knows what he wants.  Some people never figure that out and age shouldn't be a factor.  No one can judge him because they haven't lived in his shoes.  Also, when he talks about being a "hapa" or a "haole"... yeah, it's serious.  I lived in Hawaii and saw that kind of prejudice.  It's just as bad as any other.  He has experienced it from another angle but very similar to what goes on between some Blacks and Whites.  Also, I didn't see an age requirement from him.  The fact is, I think these women with negative comments are reading way too much into what this man wants.  Stop doing that.  It's not a good look.  Instead, why not start a dialogue and, like a grown up, ask questions?  At the very least, you will get an education.

1 month ago on Everybody Ain’t “The Lovings”: Why Are Older White Men Being Judged for “Suddenly” Pursuing Black Women?

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Thanks, Toni.  Only you have power over you when it comes to love.

1 month, 1 week ago on Anti-Swirling Black Women And You: Why Their Loudness Means Nothing To YOUR Happiness

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And, we're back to Karla.  Very well put and balanced.  Glad he and my bro have a great friendship.  I also read this essay by our esteemed blog mistress and I think this couple really need to read it until it is committed to memory.  It applies to many things in an interracial relationship:  http://www.westsidestorynewspaper.com/interracial-relationships-in-the-wake-of-ferguson/

2 months, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: Should White Guys Date ‘Sister Soldiers?’

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Hi, this is Don and, yes, I'm posting my thoughts, again, under my wife's name.  I just had a conversation with my BIL, Karla's brother, who is a deputy AG.  He works with civil rights attorneys quite a bit and I wanted to get his take on their personalities before giving my two cents.  He said that Black attorneys, who work in this game, have to walk a fine line.  Some can keep their personal lives separated from their professional lives and some can't.  Those who can't feel they always have to be "on" when it comes to racial issues and have to "represent".  He also said he would have to question a woman who would measure her toleration of abuse against the race of the abuser.  We both agreed that no one should tolerate even a hint of abuse from any human being, male or female.  Race is irrelevant.


My wife said he should run because it's a red flag; I see the flag as orange... yellow with a tinge of red.   I think I would need some clarification before ending a relationship that is good in most ways but is dicey when discussing race relations.  The woman to whom the letter writer referred is a lawyer so she should be practiced in logical thought and deductive reasoning.  I would ask her, straight up, why she would be more willing to accept abuse from a BM than a WM.  Though I can guess what her answer would be, I would expect her to give me a rational explanation for it.  I would expect rationality with any discussion we have, when it comes to race, rather than emotion.  I understand that racial issues are very sensitive and can be emotional but interracial couples have to be aware of that and try to see every side of the issue rather than just one.  If we're together, there must be a reason for it, whether it's love or a sense of shared values or even something as small as attraction and a "let's see where this goes" attitude.


This man says, in his letter, they share a lot of common attributes.  I don't get a sense of how long they've been together or how serious their relationship is.  If they are going to be successful, though, he's going to have to be ready to ask the pertinent questions when her professional and personal lives start to mix.  I can't even be sure she is aware of what she said since I don't have her side of the story.  I'm not trying to defend her.  I'm just saying that before he walks away, he needs to know what her true beliefs are when it comes to race relations.  He needs to know why she is with him and what she expects from the relationship.  They should be able to speak, openly and honestly about what they both expect.  Again, I'm basing this on a relationship that has been going on for a while.  If they've just started in their relationship, maybe getting to know each other has to be accelerated and he needs to ask where he stands.  If he decides to end the relationship, he should tell her why and then keep it moving.  Either she'll wise up or she won't.  At that point, it won't be his problem.  Just my two cents, as a WM married to a BW.

2 months, 3 weeks ago on QOTW: Should White Guys Date ‘Sister Soldiers?’

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@kennaGransberg This isn't lipstick covered in lip gloss.  This is Rhi Rhi Woo lipglass, not the lipstick.  They were out of the lipstick, so I tried the lipglass and loved it.  I don't necessarily think it's treason.  Lives won't be lost due to lipstick being covered with lip gloss but I don't do that when I wear lipstick.  Sometimes, I want the look of lipstick and sometimes, I like lip gloss.  I love the fact that I have a choice, based on my mood.  Should never assume.

3 months ago on The Psychology of Red Lips that Make the Guys Go “Meow”

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I am loving my red.  It's Rhi Rhi Woo from MAC.

3 months ago on The Psychology of Red Lips that Make the Guys Go “Meow”

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You seem like a good man from the content of your email.  What you have to realize is this woman is emotionally immature.  Yes, she has a baby.  Yes, she's been in relationships.  But she has no success in her personal life.  Babydaddy hasn't stepped up.  Her other relationships have been nothing but hurt lockers.  How can she really know what love is?  She hangs on to you because you're safe.  You provide a sort of security while she looks around for her next disaster.  You are, in effect, a place holder... a consolation prize.  You're a great place holder but a place holder, nonetheless.  She wants you there so when her next "distraction", inevitably, fails, you will be there to catch her and to pick up the pieces.  I know it's difficult.  You love her.  You want to be more than her friend but she doesn't want that because she's not ready for a stable, lasting, and loving relationship.  She has told you she doesn't know what she wants.  Believe her.  You want her to be happy; very noble.  But you must know that we are responsible for our own happiness.  You could turn yourself inside out and do back flips for her; she will not be happy until she can find it for herself and, sadly, that may not happen or include you.  You aren't certified to continue being her therapist and you don't get paid for it.  Let it go.  Ease out of it and, if necessary, be up front about why you are easing off.  Your love should be cherished and appreciated, not taken for granted.

3 months, 1 week ago on QOTW: Are You the Backup Booty?

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Wonderfully written narrative.  What appeals to me is they became friends first.  Though it reads like she kept him dangling while looking for her IBM, the fact is, it gave her time to really see him, through friendship.  I married my best friend so I truly do get that.

3 months, 2 weeks ago on Jim’s Story: He Was Never Going to Be Her ‘IBM,’ But…

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I'm with you.  I've never heard of these shows, wouldn't want to watch them and don't know where to find them on my cable guide.  In fact, I don't watch much television at all.  I find it boring and repetitive.  My brain is way too sharp to be able to suspend reality when it comes to the tripe Hollywood puts out.  Part of getting older, I guess.  Give me a good book, movie or great conversation, any day of the week!

3 months, 3 weeks ago on I’m Taking a Hard Line. Either You Are With Us, Or You Are Against Us.

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What the eff???  Her ex is a sociopath, pure and simple!  They are together, they are in love and going to get married, they break up*, she moves on and has a life, gets another man and he is butt hurt because she didn't tell him?????  Rule number one: never, ever explain, especially when you don't have to!!!  He was not her man.  She owed him nothing!  She didn't do anything wrong.  She didn't break the "trust".  Newsflash:  they were not a couple.  She did not "cheat".  She is not wrong.  Stop riding the guilt pony!  That he's even saying he doesn't "trust" her because she moved on is a red flag.  Run, do not walk, away from this effing loser.  Seriously, this man is a manipulator.  Do not expect a happy ending.  It isn't there!  He.does.not.love.her!




*break up = over, done, kaput, uncoupled, non-existent, 'bye Felicia

4 months ago on On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Holding Your Past Against You!

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@jazzyfae45 I'm sad for those girls too.  And it goes along with what the title of this article says.  Some people are contented/committed to dysfunction instead of wanting to see their children do better.  And, I'm sorry to see, some parents get jealous and don't want to see their children do better than they, most likely, because it frightens them.  My parents felt it was their moral covenant to see their kids do better and ensured it happened.  They set the bar very high, though, so we had to work hard to even match my parents.  It was worth it, though!

4 months ago on I’m Beginning to Think that Many Black Folks are Contented in Dysfunction.

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@kennaGransberg You are so right.  When I first got married, I had the same thing and it was probably worse because I got married when I was 35.  "The clock is ticking!"  What people didn't know was I didn't want kids, never did and made sure that didn't happen, in any way, shape or form.  I like kids, love my nieces, nephew and great-nephew but was never interested in any for myself.  Thankfully, my husband wasn't either so we were sympatico there.  I had complete control, to the best of my ability, over my life because I made it so.  I knew what I wanted, what I didn't want and made it happen, if I could.  My mom taught us to be ourselves and to follow out own path so peer pressure never worked on me either.  I owe a lot to my parents.  My dad is gone, God rest him but I thank him in my prayers and thank my mother, every single day, when I talk to her.

4 months ago on I’m Beginning to Think that Many Black Folks are Contented in Dysfunction.

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@mzsunshine Wow, that midwife was the bomb!  I am going to use that at my posse dinner!  I've never thought of it that way but if a woman beds down without using birth control,  it is planned, even if she thinks she has a 50/50 chance.  She knows it can happen so if it does, there you go.

4 months ago on I’m Beginning to Think that Many Black Folks are Contented in Dysfunction.

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Very well done; will be sharing it with my girl posse at our monthly dinner.  Lately, I have found myself baffled as to how backwards the world seems.  Yes, we are moving forward with technology and (sometimes) medicine but for social changes, we seem to be moving backwards.  Women, like Margaret Sanger, fought, on the front lines of government to make birth control legal.  Women, back then, were clamoring for it to ensure they didn't have families they could not support.  How could they live in a tenement, having 12 babies and wondering how they're going to feed them and house them, properly?  The women who pushed birth control knew that because 1) they had experienced it themselves or 2) other women had confided in them.  At one time, it used to be against the law to practice any kind of birth control.  Of course, if those making the laws were not the ones bearing the children, how easy was that?


Fast forward to now.  Birth control is plentiful.  My gynecologist has a ginormous bowl of condoms on her desk that allows women to take them by the handfuls, free.  There's a drugstore on every corner (seriously, in my town, we have CVS, Rite-Aid, Walgreens and Eckerd's on each corner at an intersection) and it's legal!  How, in the hell, does birth control become premeditated whoredom????  I'll tell you all one thing.  I was a lucky, very blessed girl to have my mother.  She taught me everything.  My sister and I were digging around in her underwear drawer one time and we found her birth control pills.  We asked her what they were and she didn't even flinch.  My mom was a married woman and had birth control pills.  Don't think that's premeditated whoredom.  It was family planning.  She and my dad, together, figure out how many children they could afford to raise, successfully, and took action.  If will.i.am thinks birth control = whore, he's more of an idiot than I thought.  Condoms are for his protection too unless he's hell-bent on getting some sort of STD.  For that indiscretion alone, he's off my playlist.

Human beings have free will.  We make choices, bad or good and it is incumbent upon us to live with those choices.  We choose our own heaven or hell.  People who say hell is "down there" are wrong.  Hell is how you choose your life, where you live, what you do and how you do it.  Those who say their pregnancy was an "accident"... well, I believe it if you are one of the small percentage who uses birth control correctly and the odds were against you.  But to say it's an "accident" because you had consensual sex and consciously didn't use birth control?  No bueno.  And please, don't go there with the "what if she is raped".  We're all adults.  We can make the distinction.  Again, good message here.  Chris is giving us pearls.  Take them or leave them at your peril.

4 months ago on I’m Beginning to Think that Many Black Folks are Contented in Dysfunction.

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@FriendsofJay My dad was a Scotch drinker and that seemed to be the drink of choice in the military.  I never developed a taste for it but my brother loves it, especially the single malts.


Thankfully, my husband shares my whiskey love but we are very picky.  When President Bush hand out the surplus money (we received $600), we used it to buy a bottle of Midleton Very Rare Irish Whiskey.  We'd always wanted to taste it so we figured the surplus was a great offset.  It was worth the money, though I still say the Redbreast beats it, though I may be tasting that with a sentimental tongue.

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Know Your Bourbon!

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I did a whiskey tasting, in Ireland, way back in the day.  I was still in the Navy and went to Ireland with a friend who was doing genealogy research and, as part of it, we sampled whiskeys.  This was also during the time of "The Troubles" so we thought going into a pub was an adventure, in itself.  Anyway, there was one Irish whiskey that stayed in my memory.  It was Redbreast Single Pot Still 15 Year Old Irish Whiskey.  A nice, young Irish man, in love with my traveling partner, bought it for us.  It was served with chocolate and was one of the best drinking experiences of my life.  I had never been a whiskey person, let alone, a sipping whiskey person but this one made a convert out of me.  It's 9 AM here and my mouth is watering just thinking about it.  I must say, we garnered a lot of attention, being the only Americans there and two of very few women, in attendance.  It was a very delightful evening!

4 months, 3 weeks ago on Ladies, Know Your Bourbon!

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Very powerful, indeed.  The message is clear.

5 months ago on A Picture Says 1000 Words…

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I'm glad you are global.  That's what I like to see.  In my travels, that's the one true thing I've discovered.  We are all women, no matter where we come from.  We suffer the same pains and joys, we speak the same language without having to open our mouths.  It was a delightful discovery for me as I have women friends from all over the world, made up of many races and ethnic groups.  This is one of the many things I love about technology.  We can connect without meeting, physically.  Also thanks for the update.  That's always fantastic to see/read!

5 months, 2 weeks ago on BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe…

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@ShunJack What a beauty!

5 months, 3 weeks ago on If You’re Single….Get a Dog!

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If you love dogs, have always wanted one and you have the time to cuddle with, run with and play with a dog, get one.  I have two words for you: dog park.  When I took our dog to the dog park, I used to have all kinds of men approaching me and asking me questions about the dog and myself.  She was a rescue greyhound, friendly but not overwhelming.  I'm married so it was all about the dog, for me, but I had a ton of conversations with men when I took her there.  I would play with their dogs and always had treats in my pockets.  They all soon recognized that I was truly a dog person so that was a plus too.  I'm not saying to use the dog as a man magnet but if you love dogs, it's amazing how they can be just that.  Here's a picture of our baby, who is now gone:

5 months, 3 weeks ago on If You’re Single….Get a Dog!

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@Geekette221B Thanks for finding something useful in my narrative.  My husband makes it easy to say I love being married.  I loved my single life too but he has made these years so worth that big step and I have no regrets whatsoever!

5 months, 3 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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@mzsunshine Thanks so much for the acknowledgment.  I do share when I feel I have something of value to say and hope it helps even one person.  People don't realize that marriage takes work to make it successful.  Couples can choose to either grow together or grow apart.  My mom, who was married for 49 years to my dad (he died 8 days shy of their 50th anniversary), says that marrying one's best friend is half the battle.  I took that to heart and it has served me well.

5 months, 3 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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I'm not much on slow jams but Monsieur Nov's "Trop Fresh" is fantastic.  I love the lyrics... very soulful and sweet.

5 months, 3 weeks ago on R&B and Hip Hop Asian Artists Featuring Black Women: Is it Good?

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I do believe that commitment is the key and can attest to it.  My husband and I are going on 22 years of marriage.  In case people don't know it, we spent the first four years of our marriage living apart due to needs of the United States Navy.  Right after we "fit in" our marriage, in San Francisco, he went to a squadron in Hawaii and I was at the Naval Postgraduate School in California.  I saw him every three months, based on his deployment schedule.  When I finished school, I tried to get orders to Hawaii but was told I had to go overseas.  Don deployed out of Japan so I tried to get there but the Navy said South Korea instead.  Hey, at least we were in the same time zone!  Once I got settled in Seoul, Don called me to "surprise" me with the news that he was now deployed out of Kenya.  We were apart for one solid year.  When our assignments finally matched up, I was afraid we wouldn't know how to live together but it worked out wonderfully and here we are.  Commitment, love, trust and loyalty got us through.  Most people couldn't do what we did but we knew who we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with and it was worth it.  We are a team, always have been from the moment we met.  No matter what happens in our lives, we know we can deal best, as a team.  He's got my back and I have his.  More importantly, we are best of best friends.


5 months, 4 weeks ago on Open Forum: Okay; We Know White Men Married to Black Women are 44% Less Likely to Divorce. But Why?

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This is my s(hero), the Crimson Avenger:

6 months, 1 week ago on SirLoins Babe Wenesday: Super She/ros

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Best man candy ever!

6 months, 1 week ago on Man Candy Monday: Able Bodied Men

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Now this, I can support.  It's concise, to-the-point and introspective.  As we say in the Navy, BZ (Bravo Zulu ~ Naval signal for "well done"). 

6 months, 1 week ago on To the Guys Ready to Swirl, ” I’m rooting for you, I really am. But we need to talk.”

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@MZ Elf Love this response and, no, you aren't alone.  I certainly respect a person's right to free speech but doesn't mean it will take with me.  The way of the world, I suppose.  

6 months, 2 weeks ago on Ask a White Guy: The Online Dating Quandary

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I was in high school when they started up.  I didn't really get into them until I was in college, though.  Disco came along and derailed me.  "Dr. Love" was one of my favorite songs by them.

7 months, 1 week ago on TBT: KISS the Devil, Shame Your Parents

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@girl1015 Wow, what flavor of Kool-Aid have you been drinking?   This sounds, suspiciously, like the laughable crap I've heard on some of the DC street corners at the Metro; have you been hanging out with one of those Hotep guys?  This smacks of their pseudo-racial/racist theories.   Let me break it down for you as to why.


1.  "It's hard to fight White supremacy in the morning." ~ no need to fight it because I can rise above it.  The only supremacy I'm interested in is my own and my family's.  How do I gain that supremacy?  By educating myself, by succeeding in the life I've planned for myself, by reaching my personal goals, by protecting myself and shaping my own world to my liking.  There is no way, in the seven levels of Hell, one can take on an entire race because of the specious belief in their "supremacy".  Oh, yes, there are individuals who believe in White supremacy but they don't live in my world; if they tried to invade it, they would be dealt with by both me and my husband.  Funny thing is, in all the years we've been married (22), the only negative reactions we've had to deal with have been from BP.  Even so, I take people as individuals, not as monoliths.  Also, you'll be in that fight by yourself, even if those Hotep guys say they are your allies.  That kind of alliance is fleeting, as we have discovered.  I haven't seen very many BM even trying to "fight" White supremacy.  Some think to gain it by dating/relating/marrying WW.  I wish them happy and more power to them if it makes them feel better about themselves.


2.  "Lay down with it at night." ~ how does one lie down with an belief?  So you're saying that, by virtue of skin color, every White person is a supremacist?  Excuse me but what a crock!  Again, that's monolithic thinking and I'm not down with that.  Have you met every White person in the world?  Do you believe every White person is superior to you?  I'm going to venture a guess and say no.  If not, then what is the problem here?  


I respect your preferences.  If you love BM and want to be with them, that's fantastic.  I wish you well and every success in life.  But don't couch it in terms of accusatory guilt to BW who don't see the world as you do.  It's boring, trite and useless.  My suggestions are to get out more, travel and if you have traveled, travel some more.  Start talking to people outside your comfort zone.  In the end, we are all human and all have the same basic needs.  It takes a lot more energy to fight against a belief you can't change than to fight for a better life for yourself.  You are worth it.  Be an example to change the world.  That's how I live my life.  If people don't like it, they can bite me.

7 months, 1 week ago on New Anti-Swirling Meme: “How Can You Oppose Racism And Be Attracted To White Men?”

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@Kaiju_Bleu Wow, reads like a romantic short story!  Such a wonderful adventure!

7 months, 1 week ago on JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!

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@SirLoinDeBeef For normal people, yes, that would have been great.  I think that would have gone over their heads, though.

7 months, 1 week ago on QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb Questions!”

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@Browncow @Audenitag This has been my answer, followed with, "I also don't have a penis nor am I a BM so I think it's best if you ask them."

7 months, 1 week ago on QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb Questions!”

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