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To the tune of "Blue Suede Shoes"

 

With handups of money

And bacon fo' sho'

The beer is all ready

Now go, 'cross, go!

 

I step through

Riding with my spike toed shoes

Got a single chainring

And I'm riding with my spike toed shoes

 

Hot into the corner

Grab my canti brakes

Hop o'er the barriers

Choke down a cupcake

 

Well, pushing to the limit

I'm about to spew, 

rolled a tire of the rim 

I need to reglue!

 

Tubular glue

And riding with my spike toed shoes

Got my lugged steel frame

And I'm riding with my spike toed shoes

 

Well, put on the embro

Legs are on fire

Just like Tim Johnson

I'll never retire!

 

Singlespeedin'

is my new foray

Try and take the holeshot 

Won't happen today

 

My pit crew

Is cleaning off my spike toed shoes

Got full carbon wheels

And I'm riding with my spike toed shoes

 

Well, stuffin' the money

Down my skinsuit

Hecklers ringing cowbells

They holler and hoot

 

I step through

Riding with my spike toed shoes

Well, I shoulder my bike

Now I'm running with my spike toed shoes

 

Well, it's spike, spike, spike toed shoes

And those big, muddy, rubber boots

Yeah, spike, spike, spike toed shoes

Baby, spike, spike, spike toed shoes

 

In line for the pressure wash

And I'm standing in my spike toed shoes

 

1 year, 4 months ago on Win a Chamois Butt’r Swag Bag and CrossVegas VIP Ticket by Entering Our Contest: Results and Week 4 Question

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Never wear embro underneath tights.  It will channel directly up to your nether regions, and definitely make for an uncomfortable race.

1 year, 4 months ago on Win a Chamois Butt’r Swag Bag and CrossVegas VIP Ticket by Entering Our Contest: Results and Week 3 Question

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Well, see, you always need some cushin' when you're pushin' the pedals.  Chamois creme is like the milk of unicorns, used solely to protect your giblets from friction during long or hard rides.

 

Always remember: chamois creme, THEN embrocation (which is like a magical no-more-pain rub for your legs).  Never reverse that sequence, unless you want to feel the pain of 1,000 fires.

1 year, 4 months ago on Win a Chamois Butt’r Swag Bag and CrossVegas VIP Ticket by Entering Our Contest: Results and Week 2 Question

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