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It is a very thought provoking post that I'll probably have to think about a bit.  

My dad was a good man and I'm very grateful for the vast things he did for me and taught me.  Some of the lessons were not positive and taught me what not to do and others were ones that I very much want to emulate.  In the past two years I have lost both my mom and dad to cancer so I have been very much thinking about their roles in my upbringing and figuring out how to continue their memories in my young daughters.  The things that I am grateful for that they taught me and showed me is too vast to list and in many ways beyond being able to describe with words.

I can far too easily remember times where as a child, I deliberately pushed every button my dad had (usually in public), found every exposed nerve and did my best to stomp on it with my actions and words.   When I did that, it may have ended up just as the one you witnessed; and that was with my dad teetering on the edge of complete rage and doing his best to not allow the situation to get to a point where he would do something that he really regretted.   He never did cross that line, but at the ages of 3-8 after my parents divorce, in retrospect, I realize I did dang near everything I could to break my own dad.  Thankfully, he was a great dad in that while some of his actions were not the best, he never did allow himself to break.

Of all of the suggestions that you have listed, I make a very conscience effort to do most of them.  At the same time, my job is to be a parent.  I hope to be a friend as well, but my primary responsibility is as parent / mentor, so I have to set boundaries and be firm in them.  I know all too well from my own childhood that not being firm in boundaries can setup a very unhealthy relationship and cause many issues.   That said - resulting to physical violence it not an option that should be explored; however I do make a distinction between violence and reprimands etc.   I know full well that sometimes some sort of physical interaction is required to get attention; this was very much true for me.  You could verbally ask me to do something and have all the conversations you wanted, I wouldn't pay attention nor change the path of my behavior (I'd actually get delight in defying who ever was trying to talk to me, if I got a reaction, that meant I found a button and there must be more to explore).   I see this in many kids today including my own.  I'm not advocating beating the heck out of them or punching them by any means, but to say that you can not ever physically reprimand is also going too far.

As you described the situation in the line, I would say it likely went too far- however I know that when I'm in an emotionally reactive state that sometimes I see things that didn't really happen; so I'm not going to join a lynch mob.  On the flip side, it may have been much worse and since I don't know you and wasn't there - who knows.    The under-laying message of be aware of your actions if spot on, I just can't jump on the bandwagon for judging others.

ok, enough drivel from me...

1 year, 9 months ago on You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.


The hype is killing me - when can I get a top pull front derailleur? I would really like to gt one ASAP a I need a new front derailleur and the pully has never really worked well on my frame.

3 years, 8 months ago on New Product Spotlight: Shimano CX70 Cyclocross Components – Video, Photos