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@TheJackB I think we all have various mechanisms by which we judge the sincerity of an apology. I agree with your over-generalization that many women and men -- especially lawyers in my experience -- have a tendency to dissect the merit of the argument and things like word choice. Ultimately I think it comes down to adjusting for different communication styles. My personal strategy for dealing with analytical-types like the women you mention, is to adopt a less-is-more strategy rather than a "full apology." Simply saying I'm sorry, in most cases is sufficient. Especially when you are speaking with someone who is looking to gather additional information beyond just whether or not you are truly apologetic about the matter at hand.

3 years, 11 months ago on The Art of the Apology


Hey Ingrid - You definitely hit upon a tension that I have yet to resolve myself: wordiness. When you spend so much time thinking about, and working with your own words, you gain an intense appreciation for anyone who knows how to string their thoughts together clearly and effectively. Left to my own devices, I think I wouldn't quite know when to stop writing. At the same time, I know that all good writing is concise -- hence, the tension. I sometimes wonder if my posts are too long, and who that might be scaring away. But like you, I also definitely don't want to obsess over it on a daily basis, which could just lead to not posting or participating at all -- guess it is what it is and we all improve with practice.

3 years, 11 months ago on How Long is Too Long?